Shattered Dreams - We Need a Good Story - Chapter 2

I am continuing my book study on Shattered Dreams. You can get 20% off this book at our online Christian Bookstore.

This chapter starts out with a story of how a mother has been taking care of her daughter for 30 years though she has been unconscious and unaware this whole time, unable to respond, move or feel. The girl lapsed into a diabetic coma at the age of 16. The mother said old fashion love keeps her going.

Then Larry asks us how we respond to shattered dreams? When life throws us an unexpected curve, the second shoe drops soon after the first. What usually transpires in us is a slef concerrn, which can take many forms. Such as:

self pity
self determination to survive
relentless demand that someone see our pain and care
or a decision to hide, to let no one see our real struggles

Ok, which one have you fallen into? Me, personally, I can say all of the above with the first and last one being the most common.

A few will committ suicide. Many will never put others responsibilities over their own. Only a few, like the girls mother will find the spiritual power to make giving a way of life.

MOst of the time, we just go through life’s motions, keeping busy, doing things to make us feel better. You know the stuff, helping the less fortunate, bible studies, etc.

As Larry says..”Whatever way we can, we live to dull the pain. Who can blame us?

The goal is to “handle the pain” Keep going in spite of the pain. Try putting it out of our mind. Be strong and courageous.

I now will quote 2 paragraphs from the book I really like:

“As long as the goal is to handle pain, relationships suffer. We pull back. And for good reason. We get sick of people looking mournfully at us and asking, “How are you doing?” What are we supposed to say? A glib “Fine, thanks,” or an honest “Life sucks”? We’d rather talk about the upcoming Super Bowl or about the decadent dessert tray at the new restaurant in town.”

Side note: You just gotta laugh at the.. Life sucks comment. I know many times I’ve been temtped going through tough times to say something similar. It does recall a great line from the show Cheers. Someone asked Norm how life was treating him and his reply was…”It’s a dog eat dog world and I’m wearing milk bone underwear!”

One of the all time classic lines, at least IMHO ( for those of you not into the abbreviations, that stands for in my humble opinion

Now onto the 2nd paragraph…

“Folks who lives have gone sour want to be known and treated as normal people, not as the unpublished author or the businesss executive who just lost his job or the despairing widow living alone or the guy with cancer or the victim of sexual abuse. Yes, those things may be going on in our lives, but we’re still here. Who we are hasn’t changed. We haven’t become a merely a label, someone who can be adequately identified by whatever trial we’ve endured. We are not defined by the things we suffer.

One thing I believe we all have to remember is to stop looking at others through our own eyes. When we do, then we start to look at them as the problems they are dealing with, just like he said above. Instead, we need to view everyone through the eyes of God. And what does he see in them? Could it be our Father sees His Son, our Saviour in Jesus? Hmmm… this was something that just hit me. When I first read this book, I didnt look at it that way.

Guess which way I was looking at it? Yep, how I was seeing myself. I can see God working out the self centeredness that was deep inside me. Maybe not visible to others, but still in me and obviously visible to God.

Back to the book…In our struggle to handle shattered dreams, one questions is rarely talked about. “what do we do with how we’re feeling toward God? What we want is good; it’s not selfish, Why won’t God let us have it?

WOW! What a great question. Lets face it. Many of the Christians dreams are not about themselves but usually trying to do what they believe is Gods will, calling for their lives. Being a missionary is definetly not a selfish dream.

He goes on to say, “If we are trusting God, when we must ask, “For what?” To help us handle our pain? Why not ask Him to relieve it or end it altogether? He could.”

He talks about a women who’s husband left her but has peace because she has the faith that God will bring him back and when he asks her why, she repsonds with; “He promised me an abundant life.” So what’s the definition of abundance? Does it line up with God’s definition?

“In the chaos and heartache of dreams that crumble, God so often seems to pull away. When we cry the loudest, He sometimesw turns a deaf ear. Nothing changes. Husbands don’t come back. Lesbian daughters stay lesbian. Grudge-holding friends don’t forgive. The three year checkup reveals the cancer is back. Our dull job stays dull.”

We pray and pray and pray.

We go to church, on the outside we seem to be doing fine but on the inside we are miserable. All of a sudden, prayer, worship and the fruit of the spirit seem to be disappearing. We hear of testimonies and instead of rejoicing with them, we ask.. What about me God?

I know for me there have been times I have definitely felt this way. On thing I have learned is we need to always be totally honest with God. I mean cmon, like He doesn’t know how we feel. I remember one time I said, “Sometimes I get mad at God but its just me being a child and venting my frustration and then come back and repent” and one person said.. “Oh brother, you should never get mad at Him, thats not good.”

Like lying to God is better? LOL, remember, we are his children and like little children, we will behave that way. Especially in our early years and hopefully as we mature, our tantrums will cease, if not, at least be very less frequent. And yes, always be quick to repent afterwards. Remember, Jesus knows how we feel.

Will continue the rest of the chapter tomorrow.