I recently received an email from someone asking how can a Christian really handle negative feelings and emotions when wronged by someone else – especially if the wrong was really evil.
The Bible tells us that God is asking all of His people to live on a higher level than the nonbeliever. The Bible tells us to forgive those who will trespass against us, to turn the other cheek if warranted, to love our enemies, and to do good to those who will deliberately hurt us.
God is so insistent on us being able to forgive those who will hurt us, that He tells us that He will not even hear our prayers and forgive us of our own trespasses if we are holding any unforgiveness toward anyone else.
However, as we all know through real life experiences, all of the above commands by the Lord are easier said than actually done. How do you handle negative feelings such as anger, bitterness, the desire to seek revenge, and sometimes outright hatred towards someone who has viciously wronged you?
How do you handle and get a grip on these types of negative feelings and emotions when:
- Some drunk driver has just killed your son or your spouse
- Someone has just abducted and killed your daughter or son
- Your husband has been physically abusing you for years in your marriage
- Some scam artist has just stolen all of your life’s savings
- You have just found out that your spouse has been cheating on you
All of the above scenarios are torpedo shots that can knock anyone of us straight to the ground.
However, how we handle these types of adversities and how we bounce back from them will determine the quality of our lives with what time we still have left.
If you do not get a grip on these negative emotions when they start to try and settle on the inside of you as a result of a vicious wrong – then these negative emotions will start to eat you up alive the same way cancer will eat and ravage a human body.
These negative emotions will steal most, if not all of your joy, love, and peace that you have obtained as a result of your close walk with the Lord.
Some Christians will even lose their faith or their close personal relationship with God as a result of taking this kind of serious hit.They get mad at God. They start questioning God. How could He allow this wrong to occur? Why didn’t He protect them?
When I first made the discovery that the Holy Spirit is alive and well on the inside of each believer and that it was His job to transmit knowledge to us in this life, I started tapping in and asking questions on many different topics and issues.
The Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit will “teach us all things” and “guide us into all truth.” The Holy Spirit can and will communicate to those who will seek after His knowledge.
I went directly to God the Father on all of the above and asked Him – how can someone possibly get a grip on some of the above scenarios where some of these attacks are so vicious and so evil?
How can you ever forgive someone who has just mugged you or killed a close loved one, much less ever get over the anger, wrath, and bitterness that will settle in on you as a result of this type of extreme trauma?
I believe the Lord has given me very good insight and a bottom line answer on this dilemma. Again, this answer came in the form of a one-two punch – it has two sides to it.
In order to be able to truly forgive someone, and to be able to truly let them go into hands of God where you can then get an “inner healing” on all of the negative emotions that may have built up in you over the course of time, there are two things that each Christian must get a firm and solid grasp on. These two principles are as follows.
The Big Picture
The first thing each Christian must “realize and see” is what I call the big picture. You first have to step away from your problem and see things for the way they really are.
Bottom line – the time that we will all spend on this earth is just a blink of an eye compared to the time that we will all be spending in eternity once we die and cross over. Heaven is for eternity – our life on this earth is just for a very brief moment compared to the eternal time frame that is operating up in heaven.
The Bible tells us that not only is God our Father – but He is also a Judge. And as a Judge, He will be judging every single one of us when we die and cross over – which includes both Christians and nonbelievers.
When Christians die and cross over, the Bible tells us that we all have to appear before the Judgment Seat of Christ to directly face Jesus for all the good and bad things that we have ever done in this life. This judgment will not cast us into hell since we have all been saved and born again through the blood of Jesus. However, I have a very funny feeling that this judgment that will be rendered upon each Christian will somehow determine what kind of reward and place they will have in heaven.
Per the article I recently did titled, “Rewards in Heaven,” the Bible says that there will be crowns and rewards for those who have done good in this life as compared to those who have done very little with the allotted amount of time that has been given to each one of us in this life.
If another person has seriously wronged you and they do not get this sin forgiven under the Blood of Jesus before they die and cross over, then they will have to face God’s judgment for the specific wrong they have done to you!
This is why you can let any evil wrong go into the hands of God.
When everything is all finally said and done, God will be the final judge on all matters, and He will be the One to right all of the wrongs that have ever been done to you – whether it be from another Christian or nonbeliever.
The Bible tells us that “Vengeance belongs to the Lord” – not to us!
It is God’s job and responsibility to right all of the wrongs ever done to us in this lifetime – not ours!
God will be getting even for you!
This is why each Christian can truly let any wrongs go into the hands of God the Father.
You have to believe that God will properly handle each of the wrongs that have ever been done against you in this life.
In the case of the nonbeliever, the Bible tells us that all of them will be pulled up out of hell at the end of the 1000 Year Millennium Kingdom to face God for what is called the Great White Throne Judgment.
The Bible says there is a Book that records all of our works and deeds that are done in this life, and God will be judging each one of these nonbelievers according to all of their works and deeds. The implication is that most, if not all of them, will be thrown into the Lake of Fire and Brimstone where the smoke of their torment will ascend forever and ever.
If someone has abused you, or murdered a close loved one – many of these evil people will end up being cast into the Lake of Fire and Brimstone, and that will be for all of eternity! Justice will have been more than done for you in some of these more extreme cases where their final fate and end will be them being cast into the most horrible place imaginable for all of eternity!
When you watch some of these criminal court cases on TV – closure is only partially granted to the victims when the murderer has been caught and successfully tried and prosecuted.
Depending on the state where the trial takes place, the convicted murderer will either get life in prison without the possibility of parole or the death penalty if that state has it.
When the victims of these evil crimes are interviewed after the jury verdict comes in, they all say they feel some relief and closure as a result of this person getting caught.
However, the victims of these types of extreme crimes are now stuck with the task of getting their lives back in order, and they will now have to deal with all of the negative emotions that have settled in and built up in them over this course in time.
How they handle these types of negative emotions and feelings will determine the quality of their lives from here on in.
If they do not get a proper grip on these intense negative emotions and some kind of inner healing on them – they will spend the rest of their earthly lives with a lot of their love, joy, and peace either completely gone or seriously diminished in the Lord.
So the first thing each Christian must grab a hold of if faced with this kind of worst case scenario is that even though the criminal just got caught, tried, convicted, and properly sentenced – that is just the beginning.
Where the real judgment will occur is when that person dies and crosses over to meet his Maker – God Almighty Himself!
This person will then face their ultimate and final judgment for the serious wrong they have inflicted upon you, and this judgment may then possibly get them thrown into the real hell for all of eternity!
All of the above is what I call the big picture. This is the real reality from God’s point of view and perspective.
Once you fully grasp and realize that God will eventually be judging each person that has seriously wronged you in this life – then you can truly let the matter go into His hands.
It’s finished as far as you are concerned! It’s a done deal!
This is why God tells us in the Bible to cast all of our cares and burdens upon Him, because it His job to take complete care of them for us and to right all of the wrongs where they do exist.
Sometimes God will right the wrong for you in this lifetime. The person who has wronged you will reap the consequences of his actions, and God will make sure that those consequences hit him full force while he is still living down here on this earth.
Other times, this person will not face the eternal consequences of their actions until after they die and they come before God for their own personal judgment. Some people will literally get away with cold-blooded murder in this life. The police or the criminal justice system will never catch them.
However, their days are numbered in this life, and as soon as they die and cross over, they will all have to face God Almighty Himself for their ultimate and final judgment.
It always amazes me that so many criminals think they can just live out this life doing whatever they want, and think they can actually get away with it because they have managed to evade the law for such a long period of time. Boy are they going to be in for a big surprise when they die and cross over and find out what is really waiting for them on the other side!
However, even if you have grasped and believed in all of the above, you are still left with one more problem. You now know God will eventually be righting all of the wrongs ever done to you when it is all finally said and done.
However, how do you get rid of the negative feelings that have settled in on you as a result of experiencing some of these vicious wrongs?
You know God does not want you carrying around feelings of hate, anger, wrath, bitterness, and depression.
You keep telling yourself that you are not going to allow these types of feelings and emotions to have any part of you – but no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to get any victory over them.
You can still feel these negative emotions rolling around down in your soul and spirit. These negative emotions and feelings continue to rob you of your joy, peace, and love for God and others.
You have lost your zest for life and you just can’t seem to get it back – no matter how hard you try, no matter how many pep talks you give yourself, no matter how much you pray to God and talk to others about it, and no matter how many counselors you see.
You feel like you are carrying around a 50-pound anchor around your waist.
Everything is a chore.
Nothing brings you any happiness anymore.
You hardly ever smile anymore.
These negative emotions are eating you up alive on the inside. You feel like you are a walking dead man, a zombie.
You are really trying to forgive the father who has sexually abused you during your childhood years – but you just cannot seem to really do it no matter how hard you try.
These negative feelings are like a “yoke” – they just seem to keep sticking to you on the inside. The Bible talks about the “yoke of bondage.” These negative feelings have you bound up and you cannot seem to break them off you.
So what is the answer? How do you break these negative feelings off of you?
There is only one way and that leads us to the second principle of this one-two punch and that is the right cross – the power of the Holy Spirit!
The Power of the Holy Spirit
We as human beings only have a certain amount of natural strength, not only within our natural physical bodies, but also within our souls and spirits where our intellect and emotions reside.
Each person only has a limited amount of mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical strength at their disposal.
Some people can bounce back from adversity better and quicker than others. We have all seen that. However, we all have our personal breaking points, no matter how strong we think we are.
We can only lift so much with our physical bodies, no matter how many steroids a bodybuilder may take.
We all have different levels of mental and emotional strength. Some are stronger in their minds than others. We see this mental strength in many of our professional athletes.
Some of these athletes can do and accomplish things a normal person cannot do – not only because they are physically stronger, but also because they are mentally stronger. They do not give up as quickly as someone else would.
How many times have we seen professional athletes amaze us when in the heat of extreme adversity, they plow through on sheer will power and mental strength to achieve total victory?
Some are also stronger in their emotions than others. We can see this in the different ways people react to severe tragedy. Some people can bounce back quicker and they do not hold any grudges against anyone for the tragedy. Life is too short for them to dwell on the negative aspects of the tragedy, and they would prefer to press on with the rest of their life and let the past go. Others cannot do that as easily.
They cannot let the past go. They do not have the emotional strength to get a grip on the negative emotions that have settled in on them. Before they know it, they are mired down into a depression, and they are holding grudges against the wrongdoers and are mad at everything and everybody in the world.
They cannot get over the negative feelings they are experiencing and before long, they have lost all of their joy and zest for living.
Too many Christians are in this second boat. They have been hit with some serious torpedoes and they cannot seem to get back up to start living again. The negative emotions that have set in on them are literally killing them!
Many in the medical profession believe that negative emotions can help lead to cancer and other various diseases and illnesses. Not only can these negative emotions kill you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually – but they can also lead to diseases and illnesses that can physically kill you.
To those Christians who cannot seem to get back up and get over the evil wrongs done to them by others, who do not have enough mental, emotional, and spiritual strength within their own makeup to work these negative emotions out of themselves – there is only one answer for them.
They have to tell God that they do not have the strength within their own emotional and mental makeup, and that they need His supernatural power to pull all of these negative emotions and feelings out of them.
If you go direct to God the Father with a sincere request to help you out with this kind of a dilemma – God will help deliver you from the bondage of these negative emotions and feelings. God will literally do “inner spiritual surgery” on you to help pull these negative emotions out of you.
This is a supernatural work done by the Holy Spirit Himself. Since the Holy Spirit is the One who lives on the inside of you – He is the One who will actually do the inner spiritual surgery to pull all of these negative emotions out of you.
However, you first have to go direct to God the Father and ask Him to release this kind of deliverance power to you, which He will do through the power of the Holy Spirit.
The Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit is our Helper. He is there to help us out on anything that we may need His help on.
And one of the things that He loves to get involved in is the transformation-sanctification process to make you into a better and more holy person – both mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
When you ask God to take these kinds of negative emotions out of you – it can sometimes happen very quickly – possibly within seconds, minutes, days or weeks.
Or it could take a bit longer, perhaps spread out over several months, which would be more of a progressive type healing. God is the Surgeon, so let Him decide how He wants to work this inner surgery and how long He wants to take to do it with you.
Once this inner spiritual surgery has been completed by the Holy Spirit, you will no longer “feel” these negative emotions.
You will still have full “memory” of the anger you may have felt against someone who has wronged you, but you will no longer feel that anger. God has miraculously and supernaturally removed the “feelings” of that emotion from you. This is what is called an inner healing.
So many Christians are mired down in depressions as a result of some vicious torpedoes that have hit them. If they would only simply approach God the Father in sincere prayer and ask Him for His power to heal them on the inside.
He would be more than happy to meet them all the way and clean them up on the inside.
But these Christians are not getting this type of deliverance from God simply because they have never approached and asked Him specifically for this kind of deliverance.
The Bible says “You have not because you ask not.” Many times, God will not move in with His deliverance power on your situation until you first ask Him to do so in prayer. Sometimes it really is that simple!
Too many Christians are running to psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors, not to mention the drug store for their favorite tranquilizer or anti-depressant medication. The number one selling prescription drug for the year 2001 was anti-depressant medication! And I have to believe there were many Christians in that boat.
We as Christians have the greatest Counselor, the greatest Teacher, the greatest Deliverer, the greatest Healer living right there on the inside of us – the Holy Spirit!
The Bible calls Him the “Counselor.” And not only are His services completely free, but the Holy Spirit is God and Lord Himself, and as God, He has maximum power to deliver you from any problems that can come your way – whether they be mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical.
The Holy Spirit can also get at the root of your problems – especially when you get into the emotional realm of your being. He will pull these negative feelings out at the roots so they do not keep coming back on you. Anti-depressants just cover and mask the problem. They never get at the root of the problem.
The same with doctors and counselors. They can talk all day long about your problem – but they do not have God’s full supernatural power to literally pull these emotions out at their roots to bring about a full inner healing on these negative emotions.
Sometimes talking about your problems to counselors or others will help release a part of these negative emotions – but only the supernatural power of God can actually get at the real root of these problems and pull it all out at that root.
Neither you, the doctors, or any type of drug can do this for you – only God can!
The above principle also applies to trying to forgive someone who has seriously wronged you. You know God wants you to forgive this person, but your feelings are not lining up with what is coming out of your mouth.
You tell God you have forgiven this person, but yet you still feel the anger and bitterness against this person.
What you do in this case is to tell God, with a confession out of your mouth, that you will forgive this person – even if your do not really feel like you have forgiven this person within your own feelings and emotions. God will take and accept the confession out of your mouth that you have truly forgiven this person, even if your feelings are not lining up with this confession.
But then you go to part two and ask God to take these negative feelings of unforgiveness out of you, and He will do it just like He will do with your other negative emotions.
All of a sudden, after a certain length of time, you will feel it on the inside of your heart and spirit that you have now truly forgiven this person and that you are no longer holding any grudges or feelings of anger, bitterness, or resentment toward this person.
You have truly let this person go – knowing that their fate and the consequences of their actions are now fully in the hands of God. You are now free and you can now start to fully live again.
The Bible tells us that no one is fit for the kingdom of God if they keep looking back on their past and dwelling on it.
The apostle Paul says that he forgets those things that are behind him and continues to press forward for the things that now lie ahead of him.
The Bible tells us that Jesus has come to set the captives free – and one of the greatest areas of captivity for many of us is in our own minds.
The Bible tells us that a man is as he thinks. In other words, you can become what you think. Your thought life, what you think about and dwell on, can make or break you in this life.
This is why the Bible tells us that we are actually transformed by the renewing of our minds. You have to learn how to develop right thinking in your mind and thought process.
I will end this article with some good Scripture verses on all of the above points. Some of these verses have already been mentioned in some of my other articles, but for the sake of this article and the specific points being talked about, I will go ahead and state these verses once again due to the extreme importance of each of them.
The Scripture Verses
For those of you who are really battling with yourself on being able to get over the hurts and injustices of your past, really study and meditate on the following verses.
Jesus has already told us in His Word that His truth will set us free. But before His Word and truth can start to work to set you free – you first have to know exactly what those truths are and then seek to understand them, and from there, get them implemented into your way of thinking. These divine truths have to become a part of your right thinking in the Lord.
The Scripture verses I will list below are giving you Jesus’ truths on this particular subject matter. These divine truths can work to set you free in this realm if you will do your part and assimilate these truths into your way of thinking in this life.
1. The Judgment of God
Here are several good verses showing us that we will all appear before the Judgment Seat of Christ after we die and cross over – no exceptions! Notice this first verse says that “every secret thing” and that “every work,” whether it be good or evil, will be brought before God for His judgment.
Thus anyone who has unjustly wronged you in this life will have to answer to God when they face Him for their own personal judgment if that wrong has not been confessed and forgiven before they die and cross over. I believe all of these verses are literal interpretation and they mean exactly what they are saying!
- “For God will bring every work into judgment, including every secret thing, whether it is good or whether it is evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13)
- “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.” (2 Corinthians 5:10)
- “And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.” (Hebrews 4:13)
If more people knew about these kinds of verses and the seriousness of each of these verses, more people would think twice before deciding to unjustly attack or hurt another person.
2. Letting Go of the Past
Here are two very good verses on God wanting us to let go of the things in our past and to continue to press forward to accomplish His perfect divine plan for our lives. The first verse is from the apostle Paul and the second verse is coming direct from Jesus Himself.
- “… but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14)
- But Jesus said to him, “No one having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62)
Life is simply way too short to be wallowing in the hurts and injustices of your past. God will be righting all of the wrongs ever done to you in this life. This is why you can fully let go of your past and start fully living again in your present.
3. You Are What You think
Here is a short, but very powerful Scripture verse telling us that a man will become as he “thinks” in his heart. If you think and dwell on happy and positive type thoughts, then you will become a happy and positive type person. However, if all you do is think about and dwell on the negative side of this life, then you will become a negative and depressive type person where people will not even want to be around you. Here is the verse:
“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7)
The Bible says that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. We have to learn how to develop right thinking in our thought process. Our thought process does not control us, we control it! We can choose to decide what we want to think about and dwell on.
4. Sowing to the Flesh
According to the Bible, the people who have unjustly wronged you in this life are sowing to the flesh. They are sowing to the dark side of their personality as versus sowing to their spirits, which is their good side, when they unjustly wrong others for their own gain and profit.
This next verse specifically tells us that if these people sow to their flesh with these types of unjust actions against you, then they will eventually “reap corruption” – which is death. This verse tells us that God will not be mocked and they will literally reap what they have sown against you. Here it is:
“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to the flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.” (Galatians 6:7-8)
This verse gives us another very good reason to be able to let anyone go into the hands of God who has severely wronged us in this life. Sooner or later, they will all reap what they have sown. And for some of them, it will be eternal punishment in the most horrible place imaginable.
5. Unforgiveness and Loving Your Enemies
Here are three good verses telling us that God wants us to forgive all of those who have ever wronged us, and for us to be able to love them, to do good to them, and to pray for them. This is a tall order, but it is possible with the help of the Holy Spirit guiding us in this.
“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you …” (Matthew 5:44)
This next verse tells us that we are not to hate anyone and that we are not to take any type of vengeance against someone who has wronged us. This verse also tells us that we are not to hold any grudges against anyone else and that we are to love others as we would love ourselves.
“You shall not hate your brother in your heart … You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.” (Leviticus 19:17)
This next verse really warns us of the consequences of not fully forgiving others who have trespassed against us. When someone has unjustly wronged you, they have trespassed against you. In this verse, God tells us that if we do not forgive those who have trespassed against us, then He will not forgive us when we trespass against others.
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14-15)
And if we do not receive God’s forgiveness for our trespasses down here on this earth, then we will have to face Him for judgment for these trespasses when we die and cross over to meet Him face to face. This is a very dire and strong warning from the Lord in that we are not to carry any unforgiveness in our hearts toward anyone, no matter how bad they may have wronged us.
6. Vengeance Belongs to the Lord
For those of you who have been seriously wronged and are contemplating some type of payback, some type of vengeful act against that person – look very closely at this next verse.
This verse tells us that we are not to repay evil with evil. In other words, God is telling us that any type of vengeful act that we try to take against someone who has wronged us will be considered an evil act on our part. And as such, we will either have to face His judgment in this life or in the next life for taking this vengeful act.
We are not allowed to take the law into our hands. Vengeance and payback belong to the Lord, not to us or anyone else who would like to try and get even for you!
I know there are some people who say they would kill others if anyone ever harmed any of their loved ones. But if you pay back death with death, you will have to answer direct to God Almighty Himself for your act of vengeance. This verse tells us to do just the opposite – to pay back evil, to overcome evil with goodness.
Here is a major power verse every single Christian really needs to grab a hold of if they have ever been seriously wronged or injured by the evil acts of another.
“Repay no one evil for evil … live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves … for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore if your enemy hungers, feed him; if he thirsts, give him a drink … Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:17-21)
Again, do not tempt your eternal fate with God the Father by attempting to take the law in your own hands if someone has viciously wronged either you or a close loved one. The Bible says that murderers will not be entering into the kingdom of heaven, and that may include you if you decide to try and take another person’s life as payback for something they may have done to either you or someone else in your family.
7. Judge Not
These next four verses are again strong warnings from the Lord that we are not to judge others, that judgment belongs to Him, and that we will all eventually be judged by God for all of our transgressions that have not been forgiven under the Blood of Jesus before we die.
- “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged …” (Matthew 7:1)
- “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37)
These next two verses are from the apostle Paul. He lays it out very clearly and very simply that we are to judge nothing before the time of God’s personal judgment on all of us. Paul says that God will bring to light all the hidden things of darkness when this judgment occurs and until it does, we are to go on living our lives trying to resolve what we can with our neighbor and live in harmony as best we can with them.
- “… but He who judges me is the Lord. Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the heart …” (1 Corinthians 4:4-5)
- “But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ … So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.” (Romans 14:10-13)
Again, God the Father could not make things any more clear than by the way He has worded all of these verses. All of these verses are giving us major warnings in that we are to fully forgive all of our trespassers, and that we are to let everyone go into the hands of God who has seriously wronged us in this life.
Conclusion
Until it is our time to depart from this life, each and everyone of us will have to put up with a certain amount of evil wrongs coming from other people. We have all been hit with these evil wrongs and will continue to be hit with them until we finally cross over to be with our Lord and Savior for all of eternity.
People are imperfect and many of them will choose to live their life out of their flesh – where their only concerns in this life is to get as much as they can, while they can, and not caring who they run over and hurt in the process. Some of these people are living their lives on a lower level than animals, as their only goals in this life are to satisfy all of the lusts of their flesh.
Until God finally prunes out all of these bad apples and we finally get the New Heaven and New Earth as foretold to us in the Book of Revelation, each one of us will have to handle these evil wrongs as they come to us.
For those of you who have taken some real shots in your past or possibly your present – just remember the big picture.
God will eventually be judging all of these people for all of the wrongs they have ever done to anyone, including what they have personally done to you.
Until then, do not let the actions of a few bad apples ruin the rest of your life with what little time you still have left. Life is really way too short and you only have one chance to live this life to its fullest for the Lord. Make the most of what time you still have left.
God will be evening out all of the scores when it is all finally said and done. There will eventually be true and final justice for all.
We also want to point out to you that we have another article in our site that will take you deeper into the trials and tribulations that can come our way in this life and why God will allow some of these trials to come into our lives in the first place. The title of this other article is – “Trials and Tribulations – the Testing of Your Faith.“
This article will take you much deeper as to why God will allow trials, and sometimes severe types of trials, to come into our lives, even when we are doing everything right in our walks with Him.
Many helpful thoughts! Do you have any articles/devotionals for Christ-like responses/solutions when wrong treatment is very much still present?
What if the person that still wrongs you by verbal abuse is a parent is it ok to set up healthy bounderies? Example a parent still calls you dumb-stupid-crazy-lazy-no good when they get mad. Is it ok to say if you do not change your speaking of me in a more kind way i will have to leave. Then if they do not change there tone i leave. Usually with the parent still hollering all the above but also adds u gut less wonder stay here and fight. I have forgiven this parent and still try to have a relationship with them but this parent can get physically abusive also. I know that this parent is just has a lot of hurts that they have not let go of. My prayer is that God will bring the right person to lead them into their freedom in Christ. I did try in the past to talk with them about God and freedom from the bondages of the passed all it did was upset the parent and they stated i have reading my bible longer then you. You have no right and do not know more then me. So now i keep quiet and leave when i need to. Thanks Tammy
Tammy, physical abuse cannot be tolerated, and I’m not referring to a spanking. Stating boundaries about verbal abuse is a good start. You didn’t say what you have said to your mother. It sounds like there is something unresolved between the two of you, which would make it a present problem. If it can’t be worked out without her getting angry and your walking away, ask her to go to counseling with you, or ask a Godly adult to join the two of you to discuss it. Ask her to pray with you. You said that your Mom was hurting. You can help your mother the most by loving her and taking the steps that will reconcile your relationship with her.
Wow! This article hit EVERY crevice of my 9 year nightmare that I’ve been living in. I openly confessed to God about forgiveness (for the 1st offense – very violent in nature) and the negative feelings went away IMMEDIATELY. But for some reason, the most recent thing, I went through – psychological abuse with this (same) person and it has ripped my life apart regarding ANYONE hurting me. I REFUSED to be manipulated, abused or anything else – irregardless if the person was a friend, family – and christian. I can now think back on the things I said: “I am a bully’s worst nightmare”. I have gone to counseling, talked to ministers, friends, family, etc…My feelings this time are worse because the effects were psychological. Your article is helping me to pinpoint why? I was just asking a family member that this morning: I want God to show me HOW and WHY this thing is trying to take over my life. I have now saved – as a reminder, to read, Leviticus and Romans…these two were pretty POTENT for me to be like whoa – enough already!
I’m in total agreement with Lynette. This article hit EVERY crevice of my 12 year ordeal and I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders forever!
I divorced my husband 12 years ago after my 3 daughters were grown, married and with families of their own. They knew how unhappy I was with their father. He was controling, manipulative and would verbally abuse me. They urged me to get out from under his abuse. But after the divorce things changed. It was as if they thought I was wrong for leaving him.
To this day I’m treated badly by them. I feel excluded and that I am not their mother. We have discussed this but things are still the same.
We made it through Christmas this year and I am sad to say that. I don’t want to “get through” things, especially holy days.
So, after reading this article I have, indeed, given this up to God. Let Him be the judge, whether I have done wrong or my daughters continue to treat me wrongly. I am done. I am allowing myself to be rid of the negative and unahppy feelings that have been in my heart all these years. My “blink” is lightened and I look forward to my time in eternity!
What a blessed article! I feel that a HUGE weight was lifted off me and my eyes opened to the bigger picture. I have been wounded very deeply by many professing Christians over the years. I have always struggled with the question “why”. Why do these things happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? How can a person call themselves a Christian and treat me this way?
Just yesterday the Lord revealed to me that I need to stop asking “why”. Most of us will never get a satisfactory answer to this question anyway. At least not in this lifetime. We cannot have a true sense of closure if we are continuously asking “why”.
The question we need to ask instead is “Lord, where do I go from here?” This very bad thing has happened to me. What do you want me to do about it? These kinds of questions will empower us to lean on him, trust him, and be able to move forward.
This well written article showed me HOW to move forward.
I pray that the Lord will greatly bless the writer!!!
We CAN overcome!
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I’m very grateful for the truths in this article. I was burdened by the wrongs done to me, especially by one person from my past. I prayed, I went to the ministry for help, but I still felt the negative emotions. This person continued to torment me. Everytime I tried to escape this relationship, this person would keep coming back and causing more misery in my life. I told what was done and how it made me feel and was called a liar. I pray for this person’s healing. I also walked away from that relationship and the torment. I choose to forgive. Now I want to be set free from the negative emotions and experience the joy of the Lord and for everything that was lost and stolen as a result of being involved in this relationship to be restored.
To Tesha,
I’m going through the same thing your going through. People can be so disgusting! Stay away from that person. If a person causes you headache and pain, then they dont deserve to be in your life. They are toxic.. cut all ties, and if you have to, pray to God that He protects you from that person. It will be okay, pray until something happens, aka P.U.S.H. AND STAY STRONG!!!
Joshua,
Your entry: “The question we need to ask instead is “Lord, where do I go from here?” This very bad thing has happened to me. What do you want me to do about it? These kinds of questions will empower us to lean on him, trust him, and be able to move forward” is totally right on.
It saddens me that my daughters are shutting me out but I’m totally leaning on God for His guidance. I will continue to pray for my girls and for my sad heart. But HE is the one with the answers. I trust Him completely!
Hugs!
It’s always a blessing reading your articles.
Given what people I trusted and loved have done to me in the past 25 years, your article acted as soothing balm on me. I have let go and look only forward.
What if two of your sisters say mean things about you to your face and then when you finally have had enough and tell them how they’ve hurt you – and they say that you are crazy and are making things up – and you know it’s not true – because you have witnesses to this (other siblings, my children) … how can I continue to go to family functions(which my father wants me to) and not be upset. My father has always felt that these two sisters are the best – he’s even said to me and my other 3 siblings – there are 6 children in all – ages 60 – 45 – my dad is 88. I can’t get over it – because as soon as I forgive and go on – then they do it again.
What should I do?
U should leave them and b on your own and let God handle the other side of family dynamics. In other words when your by yourself u can then begin to feel God working in your life and he will open your eyes to whether or not to continue after sometime has passed to have a relationship or not with them God can and has to heal them while he works on u and only then can the family come together
please read Books by authou Evans regarding verbal abuse. one of the signs of an abuser is that they call you sensitive and crazy. Been there ,done it, over it-noncommunication has worked for me for the past 2 years. sister(former psych nurse) is the worst offender-hides behind accusing me of “sparring”-easier to not communicate. i say i am a follower of Jesus -not Jesus-i accept the joy of seeing things/hearing about ugly things happen to people who have abused me-I am a human being so are you-try a different path!
What i have come to realize in my circumstances is i can’t change them but i can call upon God to heal the wounds from others. I have also set up healthy bounderies and if i ask them to change the subject and they wont i leave and tell them why i am leaving. I have left and been called a gutless wonder because i would not stay and fight. I also would pray and ask God what he wanted me to attend. This past year was the first Christmas i have spent with my family in years. It went ok but 2 weeks prior i said God if this is where you want me to be then your are going to have to take the pain of the past away. I had forgiven them over and over again but still carried the pain of their words. What i found out from my Heavenly Father was I believed the lies that i was dumb stupid and crazy. I had forgiven them but i did not erase the tapes of all the years of verbal abuse and put in new tapes of what my HEAVENLY FATHER THINKS OF ME and believing what Gods word says about me. Made a big difference in how i dealt with being around them. I can’t change them but i can fall into the arms of my Heavenly Father for protecting and comfort. Much prays sent your way. You can’t change your sibelings but you can have a healthy boundry in place and realize that your Heavenly Father loves you and cares for you his Child his Daughter his Princess
I must say that much was rtight on and very good. However,the true beleiver will not be judged. He or she will help in judging the rest of the world one day along with Christ! We must watch being religious and rely on the true Word of God with His Word being written on our hearts as well. Christianty is not religion. It is relation with Christ! A personal relationship with our Lord and Savior. It appears that many are playing God at times to make themselves seem better and less a sinner than the types you speak of that you say will end up in hell. We do not know the lives of all people. Many have done wrong and truly repented falling in Love with our God and Savior Jesus Christ! Anyone here on earth can be forgiven and transformed made new In Christ! It often makes people feel better about themselves to point fingers at others. Granted it would be very hard to heal and forgive others for the type of things you spoke of. But what about the rest of the sinners out there that are in denial pointing fingers at ones who did pay for things here ,when they themselves have done so much in thier past having never paid? They are the ones that will pay at the judgment seat,and the nonbelievers as well. I myself am forgiven and free even if satan wants people to hold my past over my head making life here even harder and hindering me from all God would have instore for me to see Him lifted up and glorified.
As a believer i know that i will be held accountable for missed oppurtuinities etc one day. But at the same time i’m confident in knowing that i’m loved and can not be plucked out of the hands of God! I’m saved and He has forgiven me. If we want to be forgiven Jesus tells us we must forgive others. If we do not then we will not be forgiven. That is some serious stuff to think about and remember. For we do not know if today be our last day here and eternity is a long time. Most people respond to love. Let us love all people with the hope that this Love of Christ shown to them will one day lead them to the Cross so that they too may become saved.
One sin can not be forgiven. That is to die here without accepting Christ as Lord and Savior. Once a person crosses over to hell there is no escaping there. That is not the fault of God. People have been given free will to believe Jesus is the Truth, the Way and the Life or not! He first choose and loved us. Let us choose and love back,then wanting to show this love to others not forgetting the misunderstood and the lepors of society which come in many forms. What a rude awakening it shall be for many one day who others thought would be in heaven for sure and finding out they are not. How much even more torment many will have forever knowing that some of those they for sure thought should be in hell ,will be in Heaven receiving great rewards. God knows our whole life,see all things and understands everything clearly. He sees the whole picture for what it really is and knows the true heart.He understands! Nobody can ever take His Jealous love for me away and God forbid they even try to knowingly or unknowingly. Nobody can kill my love for Jesus my God either. Never,never never! Though this wordly system of ours tries to look good when it is often the wicked ones to God,and those who appear wicked to others are often loved with a special love from God! Let us look through the eyes ogf God more and rely on the Holy Spirit rather then self with matters like this.
May God write His Word on more hearts and people not be decieved by the hype and false information of the world. May we stand on the Rock Jesus Christ as our defender,rescuer,Savior and God! For He will set everything straight one day. There are many good people that have done bad things in life and had much worse done to them as well. Many are under the forceable cruel and unusual extended punishment of this world while God looks with anger toward these punishers. Many are driven by these punishers of the world to such stress that they want to at times give up with thier relationship with Christ! I encourage people like this to hang on because help is on the way and our time here is short. Heaven awaits my true brothers and sisters. Forever In Christ! LoverofChrist!
I also just want to elaborate on something. Yes many people that have done much good have also made bad mistakes. None of us deserves Heaven nomatter how much good we think we have done.Anyone can be forgiven besides those who die without Christ! We are equally desreving of hell. But Christ bridged the gap making a way for all whose hearts are open and convicted by the power of His Holy Spirit. You can try to earn your way to Heaven with all kinds of good deeds but you will never make it there that way,nomatter how many good deeds. Doing good to show God how grateful we are for Him saving us is fine and we should. But doing good trying to earn Salvation is a deception from satan that will lead people straight to hell. It is only by the grace of God through faith in Jesus Christ that one can become born again and Saved for all eternity. God bless you all! LoverofChrist!
I would like to say, that the K.I.S.S. method is the answer. If you are not a believer in Christ and have questions as to the validity of God being real, I would not go to the scholars. I would go to the simple folks like me. He is real and I can tell you He is Real and He loves you and there is nothing you can do about it. If God did not forgive Satan, He had his reasons. We may never know why. But we don’t really need to. Just know that God Loves YOU. He provided a way for you to spend Eternity in Heaven with Him. Get to know him through Prayer and reading of the Bible. If you wonder what Bible to read, pick up one at the Dollar Store. It is just fine. Don’t think on to many things. Just spend sometime reading. If you don’t understand something, you are not meant to. You will read what you need to, think on what He is saying, really think about it, and apply it. You will be lead.
I was doing some research as I write an impact statement to the young man who killed my daughter, caused miscarriage and disable me for life. I have publicly stated forgivness of him, but I have not seen him in person. The day that we will meet from across a courtroom will be here in a couple days and I don’t really know how I feel til I see him. I’m sturrgling a little writting something, but I’m sure God will lead to me the right verses and give me the words to say. This was very helpful, writting is not my gift, but I think forgiveness is.
Hi, I haven’t read through all these responses yet so please forgive me if I’m repeating previous issues. I want to know how to forgive someone when not only are they still hurting you, but they hold the worldly keys to stopping you from getting what you need in this life. I was greatly wronged by not one but two universities which affected my marks directly. These people were in charge of appeals, were the person to go and talk to with issues so basically they had full control. They smirked in my face that they ahd this power and were directly personal. As a result of losing this course with them failing grades (I can’t prove it was deliberate), I went bankrupt and then went through a divorce. I had miscarriages during the course but still committed myself to finishing. It was a punishing schedule of 100+ week.
My question is this. I have been advised to lie to new universities and appear that it was my fault, how I’ve moved on and learned form all this. All Ive learned is that I’m utterly vulnerable financially and careerwise to these control freaks, sorry but I’m bitter and it’s cerainly a truth. How do I gain a reference from these people for applying to future courses? This happened 5 years ago and I’m only now able to try to move on. But I cannot progress in my career without another course, it must be done academically. I dont want to do anything else careerwise and I’m heartbroken. This has obliterateed my self-esteem. I cannot wait for God’s after-life judgement, and need practical advice for living in this world right now.
I had someone very close to me , I believe to have been murdered. I have been saved since I was eleven years old. I did not know that demons could attack me because of my own unforgiveness.
I was actually physically hearing them in my ears at night. It was like nothing I ever believed I could go through. Usually between the hours of 1am and 3am. They would actually wake me up. After praying to God and asking me to show me how to forgive this , I felt his rejoicing. After reading many books , I came across this website. I wanted to share , in case someone else is going through it. What a glorious God we serve. I am thankful to have had this experience, I believe it made my faith stronger. I am also so thankful it’s over.
I have horrible unjust and mean bosses that use me and abuse me. I have prayed and prayed and been looking for another job. I watch at they promote everyone around me and I do their work. I ask God what he’s up too. I have even searched myself because my heart was not right in this. I have even started to pray for them. It hurts each to go into this workplace but I am strangely thankful for the job and God as we sharpens me. They come near me too much and won’t curse around me or invite me to their unrighteous meetings. I work even harder perfecting my craft. Now I’m writing my own business plan and have asked God if this is in his will. I am waiting on his final word.
Forgiveness is Surrendering! Surrendering All!! Let Go!!! Yes! Letting Go!!-Letting God!!!-Letting Go!-Letting God!!-Letting Go!!!…Etc…
I remember at an early age having a strong relationship with Jesus, I was nowhere close to perfect, I learned how to manipulate adults with my charm and my smile into think that I was sweet as pie and could do no wrong, telling “white lies” and being mischievous when they weren’t looking and yet I would read my bible and talk to Jesus as if he were right next to me. He was my best friend and I remember that his presence made me feel safe. I grow up in a city with only my mother and my older brother, we didn’t have much but It didn’t really bother me. We were teased and pushed around by kids with large families and were reminded frequently of the fact that we didn’t belong because we weren’t related but through all that I could feel the Lord’s strength. My peers would confide in me individually expressing their most painful secrets and I would feel nothing but love and remorse because I knew Jesus was with us and since he took care me I knew he would take care of them too. I never used their secrets against them no matter how horrible they treated me in public, I felt that maybe they didn’t know any other way to cope with their pain. As I started the first phases of puberty about age 7-8 I yearned and prayed constantly for my father to be apart of my life, I knew my parents were married but I only saw my father a few times. He poped into our lives and i thanked God daily after a I had developed he took my virginity and disappeared, after that day my relationship with Jesus was severed. I had asked God to take everything away so I wouldn’t feel any pain or have any memory of the trauma and he did. I was completely numb for several years and became a constant target for predictors of many kinds as a result. Eventually he brought my memory back and a flood of emotions came rushing, I truly felt alone in the world with so many strong, confusing negative emotions. It’s been almost 2 decades and every day is a constant battle and I’m still struggling with strengthing my relationship with Jesus mainly because a voice inside of me continuously tells me I’m a horrible disgusting person who only deserves pain not love. My heart and the voice of Jesus tells me otherwise but again, it is a constant battle which usually leaves me completely exhausted by the end of each day.I wrote several letters to God forgiving my father and all others who hurt me but still struggle with forgiving myself. I thank you for the scriptures that were presented in this text, as I read them a flood of tears poured down my face and I was reminded of the fact that we are all born into sin and that Jesus loves us dispite of them and that we are all worthy of his forgiveness if we just ask him to be forgiven. That doesn’t mean we will be perfect once forgivened it just means he accepts us as we are and sees the truth in our hearts. So I will learn how to forgive myself with the help of our Lord’s guidance and allow him to heal and transform me into who he has called me to be. Lord I pray that you pour your love upon all those who are faced this similar traumas because it’s a unique and very difficult road especially when you don’t know who to trust, give them your strength and courage. Let them feel your presence that they will seek you out, protect them from imposters and send them true follows of Christ that they many be intercessor for you Lord. Cover them with the blood of Jesus and help us all put everything in your hands. In Jesus name Amen
My husband just lost his job after 29 years of service. Thank you for this article. I read it 3 years ago when my husband and I separated. It helped me then and it reaffirmed what I have to do now.
Do you have any plans of making your articles oral? It would be great to be able to download and listen while driving, exercising or doing any number of things.
hi Cheri, great question and I actually do have plans to make the articles into an audio format. Also planning on putting them into a video type format but since so many are so long, not exactly sure how I will end up doing this but if you sign up for the newsletter, i will keep you updated with the new info
Thanks again! I can’t tell you how many of your articles have helped me. God bless you!
There are many good points in this article.
Today my needs are perhaps unnecessarily more complex.
We all fall short at times and hurt others.
I recall wondering about this as a child.
If healthy self-esteem can be developed I think that is a first step–don’t bruise too easily. Be proactive and self-protective. Other scriptures address this.
It has taken me a lifetime to reconcile the issues of my dysfunctional family–and steps must be taken in the mortal realm to survive. Surely Christ judges with mercy and infinite wisdom.
These articles are helpful. I think on this page you have done a very good job explaining the kind of things that are hard to forgive. Most of them are what counselors call the Big T traumas. The big trauma that comes out of the blue. The one you can recall every detail of.
What is also hard to forgive are the Small T traumas. The ones that go on day in and day out. Year after year. The woman whose husband neglects her. The child whose parents abuse him or her and never respect them, even as adults.
The boss who makes life miserable for an employee.
Those kind of traumas are very hard to forgive because they happen over a long period of time. I think it is important to also mention that kind of injury. Because it takes a different kind of courage to forgive people who hurt you so badly over years. It is a bit of a different process.
This first helps to understand forgiveness and ask for the strength and willingness to forgive the wrong that was committed against me. The other scriptures just confirm what I've been preaching to myself!
Thank you, Bible Knowledge, for this incredibly in depth and helpful article with links that led me to it.
I am believing I will be set free from negative things that have brutalized my soul, and the enemy spirits attached to them. Believing it’s happening even as I type this.
However, I want to stay free. And my church is where I continually get these feelings. The people are very condemning and judgemental, like they have never sinned.
Do I leave? About 10% are amazing and Christ-like. But the 90% of either indifferent or harsh … it crushes my soul. Many (not all) pastors elders seem miserable and depressed, and take it out by treating people bad. A new lead pastor is coming, but I suspect he is not a change.
I want to leave!!! I could just spend all day in prayer, praise and worship and study on my own. But I know I need fellowship. Please pray for me. My family is miserable there too but not 100% miserable – like.. 50%. So they want to stay because they don’t think it’s better elsewhere.
I want to say let’s stay, love, forgive, don’t add to the problem.
But, even yesterday – I saw an elder at the gym and there were only a few people around and he would not even regard me. I left in tears. This is not right. I am sure he is just guarding his heart, or whatever, but – I need a family to fellowship in Christ – people who we see each other higher than all of that garbage.
Thank you all for this website.
I may not be as enlightened as all of you. Just 5 days ago, my wife was scammed out out of our entire checking account, and we were preparting to move to another state. It was a home shopping scam, so there is no way for us to ever catch the criminal who did this to us. I am beyond angry…How do I deal with the damage that is being caused to us RIGHT NOW? Truthfully, hearing all about how ‘vengence isn’t ours’, and ‘all things will be called to be accounted for in the end’, do not help RIGHT NOW. This criminal gets to live out his life scamming people out of their hard earned money, while we the victims, have to somehow pick up the pieces. I can’t pay my bills, I can’t buy groceries, I can’t do a damn thing because of what has happened. How is this advice going to help RIGHT NOW in the real world? I understand the sentiment, but, but where is the real world application? The Bible talks about forgiveness. I don’t have that capacity right now. If there is to be forgiveness for the criminal who had destroyed our lives, then it is going to have to come form God, because it sure isn’t coming from me.
I know this was a while ago. I hope you’re ok. I’m sorry you were unable to catch the criminal! 🙁 I’ve had some people scam me out of a little money and it sucks. I hope someone does catch the criminal(s) and bring them to justice.
I searched for this to forgive Rogers family…God has taken my burden…the trick to it is not to take it back….very good words of faith in dealing with negative feelings
I do get how hard it is to walk out the road to forgiveness towards family or others that we feel are suppose to be there for us and love us unconditionally. I know for me and my husband this has been a road to realizing that we can not change them but we can change how we respond or react to them. And there have been times we have had to learn to walk away and turn the other cheek. Example we were suppose to receive a inheritence from an aunt that would have been enough money to put our daughters through 4 years of college each.Long and short of it it was dispersed to my mom-dad-sibilings-aunt-uncle. My family believed we did not deserved to have the money and the will was changed at the last few months of her life. The last few months of her life she was battling cancer and on moriphine. We prayed on what to do and we did not go after all of them. They all l;ost their money they inherited in the stock market. The little they allowed us to get we did not lose. Was justice served ? in the end they reaped what they sowed and so did we. We are truely blessed the only thing we owe on is our house everything else is paid for. I pray my family will want to know who their Lord and Savior is. We my husband and myself pray psalms 139 often for our family. specifically the last two paragraphs. Search me oh God change my heart oh Lord if it is not of you. ( parapharsing)
I have feelings in my hart that are a sin but I can’t bring myself to ask God to take them away what can I do?
The bible says in 1 John 1:9
9 If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose]. 10 If we say that we have not sinned [refusing to admit acts of sin], we make Him [out to be] a liar [by contradicting Him] and His word is not in us.
There is nothing and no one else who can take away your sins but Jesus who shed his precious blood on the cross to take away the sins of the world. Freely admit you have sinned and confess and he (God) is faithful and just and will forgive you and cleanse you from your sin.
First, let me say that I am a Christian even though what I am about to write goes against what you have written. My first husband abused me mentally, verbally, and emotionally. I believe God did not want my children or me suffer, thus my ex left on his own. God blessed me with a wonderful man who is not only wonderful to me, but to my children as well. When we married, his ex-wife left us alone(at least for approximately 6 months.) Then the bottom dropped out. Without his knowledge, his ex had elective surgery 1 day after his insurance discontinued her because the divorce had become final. According to the divorce decree, he was to pay her insurance premium but she had the burden to sign-up for her insurance at her job; she failed to do that on purpose. Her goal was to ruin us financially. She even hired a lawyer who sent constant threats. Because I foolishly believed she would leave us alone if I gave her money, I gave her 3/4(not including the 30% IRS penalty.) Basically, she was given $12,300 and promised to leave us alone. Wrong!!! Right after receiving the check, we were hit with a lawsuit from her and her lawyer wanting more money. We couldn’t hire a lawyer or get indigent help from a lawyer(no one would return our constant calls for help.) I had no more money. My husband had no money or assets. The judge was golfing buddies with her lawyer and thus awarded her every penny of the $10,000 dollars she was asking. The exact words used by the judge included “you have wasted my time because you didn’t have a lawyer and that is why your ex deserves every penny she will be receiving in the final judgement.” Fast forward to January 2013. My husband was a teacher who previously had 3 back surgeries. He injured his back again in the classroom and now cannot work. His retirement doesn’t even cover our house payment. Social Security turned us down, even though we have gotten a lawyer and are waiting for a hearing(could take a year) Ten years ago I was diagnosed with MS and get social security. My ms is taking its toll on my body. We are receiving food stamps(something I am not proud of but survival is foremost.) His ex knows about my husband’s painful back problems, my ms, and my two teenage children that live with us. Now she has had her lawyer garnish what little income my husband receives. I e-mailed her and tried to appeal to her as a fellow mother to not do this to my family as we are suffering. Children aren’t stupid and mine know exactly what this evil woman is doing to us. Not only will I ever be able to work to replace what I believe has been stolen from me, she was able to have the hospital and doctors write-off her bill. She lied on the stand. She took my money and bought a new ski boat. We could be living off of that money until my husband can receive his social security. I used to believe in the goodness of people and their word. Not any more. Not only has she stolen my life savings, but she has changed who I am and I think that is the worst part. She has two children who I always treated with respect and bought them gifts. She has had them turn against their father and me. They are quick to let everyone know how much they hate me. All I ever showed them was kindness. I feel humiliated and now I feel extreme HATE for her and her children(who are 20 and 21.) Her adult children feel no empathy for mine. I have never in my 43 years of life had anyone do such evil to my family. Advice such as “get over it” just isn’t going to work. She has plenty of income and can pay her bills without sacrifice. My heart is broken for my family and for the anger I experience on a daily basis. I truly hate her, her lawyer, the judge, and her children for hurting my family. Please don’t judge me. I need someone to understand and pray for my family. I don’t want to feel like this forever. My prayer is that God will allow me to see them receive justice on this earth and to experience the pain they have caused.
Dear Marie Ma’am,
Sincerely, i will say you have gone through a lots, those people had taken advantage of you and spitefully used you and your family. well i dont know why they divorced in the first place and maybe that woman was also on revenge mission because she might be feeling you had what is hers, but in any way, surely you’re hurt! but ma this is what i have to say in compliment to what the good man of God had already say; if we do not forgive men their sins, our heavenly father will not forgive us, and this might cause a doorways for demon to get into our lives and torments us. when the Lord ask us to forgive others, it’s majorly because of ourselves! The man who refuses to forgive his offender will be trapped under the weight of his or her own problem, so dear ma’am, please release the hurt in your heart and let got. the bible say there is still balm in Gilead, open your heart to the master and in due time He will heal you in no time. Don’t allow the devil to steal what is left of your life – that is your joy. when you have your joy you can still draw from the well of salvation. if your truly forgive and let go, you can battle against the devil and claim back all that he has stolen from you, i sincerely pray the Lord God of heaven, the father of our Lord Jesus Christ to console and give you abundant of peace and joy. it is well with you ma’am!
My friend, ive been in the exact same boat for over 10 yrs now..i actually have a court hearing coming up, this friday july 27, where i have to deal with an evil ex and my kids are now 17&19! Its been a longgg journey & believe me my friend..its almost killed me (im 48yr old woman who just had a massive stroke 3-28-18 & almost died. Ive been going thru this for over 10yrs now as i said..it finally took a big toll on me. Im a woman who is a believer, i have been since i was 12yrs old & accepted jesus as my savior. I could not understand for the longest time..why god would allow me to go thru such horrible evil thing (my ex fought me 3 times for custody over a 3 yr period when our girls were littler, during our divorce. He lost first two times but won the 3rd when he had our oldest daughter testify she wanted to live with him/her stepmom at time. So my girls went to live with their dad at age 10&12). My life has been literally a living hell the past 20 yrs now. Ive cryed, been depressed as a person can be, thought of suicide many a time (which i FIRMLY believe the only thing that ever stopped me-was my faith & belief in god..i feared if i did it, i would lose my place in heaven), i have been persecuted for yrs & continually messed with by him, thru him using our children as his means of a weapon. And when i say continually..i sincerely mean Continually-NONSTOP. He has systematically brainwashed my kids to hate me..even putting false memories in their heada, things that NEVER happend. Its been a very long road my friend but this i can tell you with 100% certainty-this article is correct. We must do what this article says..and do it SINCERELY. I of all people, know the bitterness & hatred you feel towards these people. But please listen to my advice..until you do what it says, we will never be free from this dark cloud you & i are under. We HAVE TO let it go and truly give it to god to handle..if we dont, you & me will be the ones truly who keep paying a price-we will continue to live in misery by holding onto this bad evil stuff from our past. I know how hard it is..im getting ready to head to court Again, after dealing with this evil non-sense for sooo many yrs now. However, this court hearing is going to be different..this i Know! And you know why? Because this time im walking in with 100% faith, gods handling this. And as part of this..i must also TRULY believe this and part of that faith is letting my bitterness & hatred for him go. If i dont walk in with this, i will not have god taking control-i will be tryin to take control..does that make sense? Between now & friday, i know u must tell god i do forgive him (even tho I KNOW, because we all truly know ourselves inside, that im not at that “100%” forgiveness point..i must still telo god &ask for him to take the other negativity thats holding me back from truly completely forgiving him away. Thats what you must do my friend. Its the only way to get the peace both you & i are seeking. If you do this with sincererity..god will help you just as he is me. Its hard my friend but soooo worth it in the end. I hope & pray this helps you and you will find the way just as i have. I will pray for god to help you accomplish this..because i do believe that you know its true, WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! So, keep your chin up Missy You got this ❤
I was reading this article and tell my son about it. But he doesn’t want to hear anything about religion, and he told me to stop pushing religion on him. And he really breaks my hart to know that just like son they are so many teens in this planet earth that don’t want to know about God.
I really need you guys to pay for our teen’s because they are out of control because just like you say on this article, they all about them selfs and nothing also.
Thank you and God bless.!
It’s sounds very easy for people to say forgive and forget,
Thank you so much for writing this post! You have no idea how GOD used your words to help me tonight. I believe the Holy Spirit spoke to me through you and I am looking at things so differently now.. I have made a decision to let go of it and let God.
So grateful you put this out there!
I was browsing articles looking for some solace. I got to your site and read the article and it made me cry. I have been going through some very hard times with some of my stepchildren since my husband died 3 1/2 yrs. ago. It seems to be worse now more so than ever. I felt so wronged, persecuted and abandoned. I have had anger, hurt, sadness, and need for revenge. I have prayed but did not feel God heard me.
Than I read your article and it has helped me come to terms. God is there and will be the judge. I need not feel alone and what ever way my circumstances turn out it is God’s will. He already knows the outcome.
And you are right, drugs are temporary for relief. Nothing can give you peace but the Lord.
This is the only article on this subject I have read that is very relevant and nonjudgmental. I am implementing the principles.
Maybe when something terrible happens to us, it may be a retribution for a transgression we may have made in the way of thought, word, or deed. When I read or hear of talk about God giving us better than we deserve, could it be that, for the believers only, that God will provide merely an escape from further injury on the days of their deaths? My theory is yes, and that may be by far, better than anyone of us deserve. It is something way more than I truly deserve, and look forward to. I am a Fearer of God and of Jesus Christ, and I am waiting for my dying day, when I receive that wonderful gift of escape, which is waayyy more than I, a wretched sinner and eater of broken meats, deserve.
I want to thank you personally for coming to my aide through your website. I was deeply annoyed by a situation that had occurred to me yesterday and did not know what to do. I have prayed and I believe I got my answered. You spoke about not forgiving a person who has wronged you. I will read all the scriptures you given us and apply them to my life everyday. I believe I will forget it about this hurt as time passes and will move forward to a higher level. Yvonne
SILENCING THE OPPRESSOR, THE COVENANT PRINCIPLES FOR PROTECTION
I must first of all say that I am saddened by the sad tales I see here. You see its the knowledge of Gods word that brings victory. You see Christianity is not a religion of trying to be good moral fellows but it us being transformed to be like Christ, walk in his suffering as well as his power, glory and command the same results he did. Ut is your knowledge and application of the privisions of Gods word that commands victory in your life .prov 11 vs 9. Refuse to be defeated and miserable. Understand That. Yes we are to forgive those who hurt us, humans are imperfect and sometimes we hurt others without knowing, but talking about oppressors, Christian s are not made to be weak vulnerable fellows but strong and powerful in Christ Jesus Luke 10 vs 19. The thing about wicked people Is that they don’t respond to mercy or kindness or all that Isaiah 26 vs 10. They respond to judgement psalm 9 vs 19 -20. Bad things will happen to good people as long as Satan remains the god of this world UNDERSTAND THAT. But God says in Colossians 1 vs 13 that he has delivered us from the power of darkness and translated us into the kingdom if light. stand on the authority of this word of God in prayer and rebuke the devil when he comes to fight or trouble you through human agents. You must have an altar of prayer set up by your decision and dedicated by a genuine spirit filled and gifted servant of God. Then keep the “altar fire” burning by sacrifices of praise,worship, fellowship with God and material sacrifice to your church, pastor or where the spirit of God leads you. And you MUST have the holy spirit if your Christian walk is to be fruitful. Well said.
Now how to fight.
In the realm of the spirit our weapons of defence are the helmet of salvation to guard our heads (minds), the breastplate of righteousness (right standing with God, holiness) to keep our chest, hearts, in fact our very life, the gospel of peace to keep our feet from getting bruised by the journey if life and to claim territories for Christ, the belt of truth to hold the whole amour in place, see without truth you are in bondage. Now to the weapon of attack. It is the sword of the spirit, the word of God. Yes Gods word if like a flaming sword. Hebrews 4 vs12, 12 vs 29. Revelations 1vs16, 2 vs 16 Isaiah 49 vs 2, 2 these 2 vs 8, Isaiah 11vs 4. The word of God in the mouth of a true spirit filled child of God is devastating to the enemy. How did Elijah command the result of prophesying that there should be no rain in Israel for 3 years? He had understanding if God’s word concerning Israel’s sin of idolatry 2 chronicles 6 vs 26, Leviticus 26 vs 20, and accordingly with the empowerment of the holy spirit he spoke and it was confirmed. The word of God is indeed powerful. Now let’s take some examples to fight the enemy using spiritual warfare. Someone scams you if your hard earned money. First if all establish your covenant position
Do I tithe? Do I honour God with my substance? If so you have a good covenant standing with God, first ensure your hands are clean and there is no unfirgiveness or unconfessed sin in your life. Approach the throne room of God in heartfelt worship, appreciate and thank God sincerely citing some past victories,intercede for someone, the present your case before God (yes God Himself said “plead your case Isaiah “41 vs 12. ). Stand on God’s word concerning the devourer in Malachi 3 vs 11. And plead that there shall be total recovery Joel 2 vs 25-26. Don’t just sit and cry and be bitter, fight on your knees.
Understand this, Christians will face persecutions as Christ did but note this, Jerusalem persecuted Jesus in spite of the obvious evidence that he was from God and as a result judgement came upon Jerusalem in 70 ad. Over one millions Jews were killed in a siege, what about Judas Iscariot? How did he end? If anyone allows the devil to use him/her to oppress you, such a person must get read
I was dating a guy that pretended that he soo loved me until after a few months into the relationship he start to call me ghetto, say i lived in the hood, talked about my car as welll as my son. My children has never disrespected him actually opened up to him and shared some personal things that he shared with others. I was good to him and his daughter I loved them and gave until i had to stop bc they were only using me. He walked out of my life a drop of a dime. Wouldn’t answer or respond to to my text or calls. It’s like after they absorbed all they could his daughter attitude changed then say im crazy he would say im bipolar and crazy how do i deal with this and will any good come to them
I can’t help but think if I allow my enemies to keep hurting me without me doing anything about it, or stand up for myself, I will be continually be a whipping post, which will cause me more harm. And how can I look ahead if the same nastiness occurs to me by the same evil people ? Is there anyone can relate to this ?
No Disrespect But God Forgives anyone who is truly sorry.. The only unforgivable sin is not to believe in him. There is no hell. Even after Most of this world are fooled by Satan again God gives another chance. There will be teaching. And after this teaching. If you still do not believe God is your father and only God you are then blotted out like you never existed. Hope this helps everything I said is in the Bible.
Jen
What kind of bible are you quoting from? that said “there is no hell”.
GS
You’re not required to be a whipping post. I’ve been a doormat. The things is boundaries might actually help people to turn from their sins. It can be far better for their soul (and far better for our well being!) when we learn healthy boundaries. The book “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend was helpful to me. Also, Jesus stood up for Himself in John 18:23.
We’re required to pray for our enemies and leave vengeance to God (Matthew 5:44, Romans 12:19). But, we’re told in Luke 17:3 and Matthew 18:15 to “rebuke our brother and IF he repents, forgive him” This suggests that we need to allow the people who keep hurting us to repent first before any real reconciliation can happen.
THANK YOU FOR THIS ANSWER! i kept waiting for the article to tell me what to do after forgiveness, when the oppressor still oppressing. I did not see that answer in the article, but here it is: “we’re told in Luke 17:3 and Matthew 18:15 to “rebuke our brother and IF he repents, forgive him” (REPENTANCE IS THE KEY)
I confess my own sins and forgive my transgressors in my heart, who are my blood relatives. But I have taken what I believe are healthy baundries. The problem is, my mother now lives with me and my husband and through her, those transgressors are saying, that I am “unforgiving” because they want the relationship with me, to be like it was before. so they don’t understand boundaries and i think they don’t accept their wrong doings.
This struggle goes on everyday in my house, because my mother says, that she wants to have a family unity before she leaves this earth. Yet the transgressions have had serious legal implications by now. Not to mention threats of witchcraft.
I am continually praying about this. It’s been going on as long as I can remember and even before. Family members fighting about the same issues. Money and property.
i thank God for the life of the writer of this article, may you increase in wisdom, knowledge, and understanding of God. Holy spirit has revealed to me what i need to know concerning this article through you. As i step forward, i activate the power to live above this negative thoughts in Jesus name. Thanks for this article.
Thank you for this article. I plan to study these verses carefully and read the other article you recommended. I feel like I am going to take this opportunity to be challenged to love like Christ, grow, and dig deeper into His Word. Thank you so much.
I enjoyed this article, but I feel it points the finger and plays the blame game. We as humans all fall short to God’s glory, and we all have hurt someone during our lifetime, and have been hurt in return. Taking responsibilty for our own actions and forgiveness are the keys to unleashing our spiritual growth to being more Christ-like. If we can’t do that then we are mearly walking with Jesus and benefiting the real meaning of being a Christian. Too many of us lack of self-awareness are delusional or have too much self-pride to ever admit we are wrong. Again, we all get hurt, but we also intentionally or unintentionally hurt other people by our words, judgements and actions.
I have really applied my life to try to understand. Rebuke an elderly, gain a friend, but to do this in my understanding is with not the goal of self importance or showing off what God has taught us, but just like moms and dads everywhere saying ‘no, you can’t eat candy for dinner because I love you and give you my best advice always for you’ protecting fatherless. And widows too matters. Memories are God given knowledge and tools of life experiences to give as gifts. I know I ound bad to my loved ones, but I don’t have alzheimers, bad behavior should not be rewarded or repeated and to do so I try to call it like it is and teach that pain is not good to do and my suffering is proof of that. I already forgave by repeat behavior is evidence that my forgiveness is not acce0ted, and the person in question has not chosen my gift, simply decided to choose the free from consequences and license to harm without accountability or harm to them self and I feel 8m neglecting my duty to protect innocent victims if I allow a free pass. I hold out my hands to ask God to use my hands to stop this injustice from continuing. The buck can stop here if God gives the just manner to do this. In jesus name please teach us amen
Thank you for this article I was taken for $48,000 over the course of 2 years by someone from my past I got in touch with after 30 years the Bulletboys guitar player (big mistake) and thought I could fully trust and now its been over 3 years he will not pay me back. He ignores me fully and even filed a restraining order against me so I could not ask for my money. Totally not the young man I remembered from 1984, he became famous in music and I never knew that but now I know fame has changed him deeply. He is a non Believer and all about what is dark. However I had a hand in all of this and I did say some of these items were gifts (and it’s a little more complicated than that I was sinning no doubt) in many emails over those 2 years but nothing was ever in writing about it being a loan. But..we did have an oral agreement and an oral agreement in NV is the same as a written contract if I wanted to sue him in court. I am not financially a rich or wealthy woman and I was working for most of the lending however I did have a part in it and willingly gave our money over without my husband knowing as well. All bad. Anyway this article is helping me to understand I should be still and wait on God. Not easy when we are still depleted of money and he is making a comeback in his career thanks to the brand new home pro studio I bought him piece by piece. They are doing fine and we are still suffering. I just wish I could see some little bit of regret or remorse for his using me so badly and fooling me the way he did. Some payback by God now while I’m alive. I know that’s bad as I am a Believer in God the Father, I’m in love with Jesus for what He’s done for me and I know who the Holy Spirit is inside of me. So I’m going to continue looking for these articles and it was the best one for me and my situation. Thank you Jesus for bringing me here this morning and showing me your Word through this precious article written with such wisdom and great faith in YOU! You see I know I am truly BLESSED!!!
Thank you again and God Bless All Of YOU here involved in the teachings.
Donna Scott
Donna,
You are not the first, as I have been in your situation.
I accepted the fact that it was my own foolish ways and my own fault, not the fault of the ones that took advantage of my good heart, that created my problems.
I guess I just want you to know you are not alone.
I praise God for His presence in my life and His consistent encouragement and teaching ….
May you be blessed with His love, joy, and peace!
I understand how you feel the same thing happened to me but it was 14,000 so I know how you feel.. It’s a hurt that’s unbearable.
God is SO Faithful! Last night my son went “off” on his sister about how hurt he is (again) by what he considers her lack of concern for him. He lives 3 hours away from us. His choice. We try to visit as time permits but in the mean time, his sis and her children and inlaws all live here. He frequently has these fits as I call them and he always goes back to she was allowed to get by while we made him toe the line. But as I began to pray this morning and search for scripture, God led me to your article. Thank you so much. Thank you thank you.
I’m 53 years old and I have lived a rough life. Me and my dad just can not get along he does things to make me so mad, he is emotion abuser. These scriptures help me so much , I do forgive him.
When I went to prayer this morning, God spoke to me and told me to google spiritual warfare regarding praying against generational curses, and I came directly to this article. I have spent the morning reading most of the articles and I plan to revisit them. I also ordered the ebook that you recommended, “Defeating Dark Angels”. I do have a question. How do you specifically pray for a child that you feel is possibly experiencing the negative consequences of a generational curse and the resulting unforgiveness, anger, hatred, bitterness etc….? This “child” is an adult (26). Is there a specific way that a mother can pray? What about the role of fasting? (I understand fasting as being a means of putting the flesh “down” so that we can better hear from God, however, in the book of Esther, collective fasting changed the course of destruction that the enemy had plotted against an entire group of people.) I have walked with the Lord for many years, but if there is one thing I have come to realize, it’s that we never stop learning or realizing new ways to deepen our relationship with God. I need to know how to battle these demonic spirits for my family, if that is even possible.
I was wronged by my family. May children are gone and my mother and sister teamed up to take them from me. I have been getting fired wrongfully and when I asked for unemployment they didn’t allow me to have my unemployment. I have brought evidence to the crooked police showing someone hacking my computer and phone and my mother and sister’s IP addresses showed up, but they ignored it. I came to the conclusion long ago that God cares nothing for me or anyone who cares for him for that matter. He blesses the crooked to continue doing what they are doing and the hungry stay hungry and the poor stay poor. I can’t give away all my savings- which isn’t much- to homeless and starving when it is the responsibility of the government to take care of these people. I haven’t seen my sons for over 2 years and I’ve been given “permission” by the crooked judge to see them however I haven’t seen them. You’re talking about a person who doesn’t have a record and the child support office withheld information from me for one of my children’s fathers. If you want a real solution, prayer isn’t going to help anything- take me for instance: I’ve been poor all my life- I’m 34- work hard everyday- where’s my billions of dollars!
God doesn’t want you to have any hardships in your life, but he wants you to have faith in him when you do. There are always going to be hardships in life but it’s how you react on them that makes the difference. I thought for many years why is God doing this to me he must hate me when in all reality I didnt have faith in him. And i do now and my life is turning around a lot. I have been relieved of horrible nerve pain in my face my having faith in him that he can heal me. A custody battle isnt easy. I don’t have that issue but we have been trying to fight for our niece to get out of foster care for 2 years. CPS and the family courts are very corrupt. If you have issues with the courts write to your state representatives about the issue or get others you know that have the same issues to come together. And God doesnt want us to have a billion dollars 🙂 he gives us only what we need and that is it. Keep your faith and stay strong.
God hears your cry Andria, trust me practice this pray and have a faith in getting what you ask for am 26 i have been going through a lot the past 7 years but through prayers i always overcome every situation, i might not be a billionaire but am not going to be poor by 27 either, am not selling dreams but am living a life of faith. you can be a billionaire but you do not have faith, and do you even pray for it, do not look at your current situation now, God changes lifes overnight just like death have you ever spoken to someone who was so excited about travelling to Bahamas, and after an hour boom you hear this person is dead, you have seen the person hugged her just an hour ago and suddenly she is dead. You can be sitting there right now with – negative in your account but after a year you are a millionaire, so just ask and receive it with faith and remember nothing comes easy even in the bible its says it will come with sweat. all the best Andria.
I’ve found some of the articles on this site interesting, even if I haven’t agreed with everything I read. However, there is simply too much in this article that I don’t agree with. It is as if you are writing this with the spirit of “forgive them, but don’t worry, God is going to punish them.” It then talks about them going to hell, like that is a great and desired outcome.
Jesus came to forgive us of our sins. This includes those that sin against us. This includes those who murder someone and ask for forgiveness. Our desire should be for them to turn to God and be saved. Look at Saul. Look at David, who murdered Uriah. Our goal should be for everyone to be saved, even those that commit sin against us or our loved ones. That is the spirit of Jesus.
Totally agree that our desire should be for them to be saved! I hope my ex-husband will be saved. However, I’m not upset if God punishes him in a way that doesn’t involve him going to hell. Romans 12:9 does promise that God will repay. I trust that God knows what He’s doing here.
Extremely beautiful article. Practical at the same time profound. Thanks a lot for helping me with my problems.
This is the best reading I’ve found to help me with how to deal with those who’ve wronged you! It’s easy to read and understand! Thank you and Bless you!
Every word of God is true. Please help me Lord Jesus to forgive all the abusers I my life. There have been many and some claiming they are saved. Lord heal this nation in Jesus name and bring revival first to the religious church world do not May be a place of healing for hurting souls in Jesus name.
Before I read this article, I was crying due to the hurt caused by others. After reading this now there is a smile on my face. I now know what should I do in my situtation. Even though I am a follower of Christ time and again I forget to forgive. But now on I will read this article every now and then and do as written. Thank you and God Bless you.
Thank you so much for taking the time and concern to write this article. Searching desperately for something from the bible that I would be able to understand and use, this did exactly that. May God bless you!
Oh my God I needed this. I really was struggling with this negative feeling. I know it was wrong to have this feeling but I couldn’t put it into perspective. This has really helped me. Thanks!
I have been cheated out if a lot of money,
Angry,Dissapointed,planning my revenge,all have been clogging my thoughts, I am a born again Christian and obviously as you can tell I was struggling with this, God has a plan, that I know. After reading this article I know now that I have to forgive. This will be my greatist victory, God will guide me and give me the strength in God we trust.
God bless
The article has been an eye opener on how to deal with negative forces in our lives. Yes it can at times be very difficult to forgive but the Biblical law is telling us to forgive so that we are also forgiven. Good article.
Thank you for this stunning and very helpful website. Your advice has blessed me so much. I haven’t found this anywhere else. It has finally made a difference. I never realised the the source of all my pain was my own unforgiveness.
Thank you so-so much, beautiful article. I have been battling with anger and bitterness around forgiving my mother, who rejected me from the womb, i’ve been forgiving according to this article but she continues to inflict more and more pain each time I visit her as she’s elderly now.
I’m 49 and battling to relate properly due to the hurt and damaged self-esteem from this sick relationship.
Favouritism on those she loves has been too hurtful as well and spiteful, and they in turn join her to break and reject me so badly..I have found forgiving and going back to them such a painful viscous cycle..
Is it right to forgive them and walk away from the pain?/ cut them off totally?
I have all my life prayed for them, forgiven, released and hoped for normal relationships when I see them but instead their hatred and rejection gets worse each time…too painful..
Yes forgive and walk away, for your own good. you need to fully heal and live your own life. Even if a mother should forget her child, God will not forget you. Check out Isaiah 49:15
God loves you. God wants you to be happy.
I needed to read that. Good advice. Forgive up to a point. 70 times 70. Where did I read or hear that?
Thank you for this very helpful article.
Forgiveness is easily said than done. I have a problem with sibling hatred. My sister hates me and I have always been telling myself that I have forgiven her but when something happens I forget and remember everything she has done to me.
Thank you for this article and with the help of the holy spirit I will conquer the bitterness in me.
Hi. There is a biblical process to resolve conflict. Google Watermark Church, ‘conflict field guide.’ It will walk you thru the steps using scripture. Forgiveness starts with your self and examining your true motives, confessing with true godly sorrow, and then making amends with your sister, even if it has to be done more than once. Forgiving and making amends is all about you and God(expecting nothing from the other person) taking responsibility for your part, and then confessing that to the other person any wrongs you have committed against her and then asking for her forgiveness. God Bless You! A quote from Billy Graham: It’s God’s place to judge, Its the Holy Spirits place to convict. It’s my place to Love.
This is a very balanced guide. It does not heap condemnation on someone who has been injured, and actually shows how to go about seeking God’s peace in any situation.
Thanks you. I will try. I don’t have much time left. But I will try.
I have so many things that have destroyed my life. I would like a little peace before I leave. I will really try
This was so powerful I needed that !! Not that I have been so wronged that I needed to forgive & Let God . But that I really needed to go to God with it! There was so much I learned from all your words and scripture I was overwhelmed crying praying asking seeking … Thank you
My friend thank you for your article . However you left out a crucial peace. Forgiveness of man upon man instructed by Jesus can only be granted if one ask for forgiveness! If not, then we are not required to forgive and when we offer forgiveness with no atonement from the offending person we cheapen the act of forgiveness.
Just had an argument with my spouse. We fought over the same painful disrespectful behavior happening over and over. I pray and work on forgiving them, and come to a place where I think i have no animosity, and BAM, they do it again. They cannot stop themselves and I know it will happen again. It is in their nature. They don’t mean to be hurtful, but they are all the same. I walk around waiting for the rug to be pulled. I know I have built up walls because I do not trust them. I worry about the affect on my Spiritual Life, because the one person I should rely on the most, is absolutely not reliable for me.
How do you have “right thinking” as you state in this article, when the rug is constantly being pulled out from under you and you end up in a dark hole again?
I rented my home out & the tenants were my friends ,
I had owed back property taxes on my home.
So my friend/tenemt volunteered to help me out by putting half of the rent money toured the property taxes and back property taxes.
A few months went by and I received a letter in the mail that my tenants have not been paying the back taxes.
As a Christian I prayed and I put it in the Lord’s hands so then when I approached my friend I said to him at first I was upset but maybe this family needed some extra food for their children and grandchildren maybe they needed gas money for work or whatever.
So of course I chose to forgive him forgive them because that’s what the Lord expects us to do.
What we do here on Earth will matter and the end like it says above.
God hasn’t left you. God Himself said He would never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
It’s 4AM and I found your article. I’m so grateful
what you wrote is really impacting me. Thank you for taking the time to help me and others suffering. I have felt extremely wronged repeatedly by the same person. I’ve been struggling and wrestling in bondage with bitterness. I have tried everything I know to release the anger and hurt to no avail. I couldn’t get back to the present, presence of God, peace and joy. Many firery darts have come into my life before my husband goes for open heart surgery. My brother has seriously wronged my elderly father with dementia, me and my niece I raised after her father passed away. I need The Holy Spirit to heal my mind, heart and soul. I am choosing to ask for Forgiveness and to be given the willingness and strength to forgive. I believe in the supernatural Power Of The Holy Spirit. I have had spiritual surgery in places called The Healing Rooms. . I forgot in the midst of this battle many things God did for me in the past to help me move through adversities and learn lessons he had for me. My attitude and approach has been worldly and causing me a lot of suffering. I don’t want to hurt myself and God by being stuck in bitterness and disobedience. You’ve really helped me. Thank you.
I woke up so early this morning with this worry on my mind, and I really needed a deeper understanding on this forgiveness part, and the hurt and anger that’s eaten away at me over how my pastor has treated me over the years and it seems that the more I worked for the Lord in the house of the Lord it’s was not getting any better. I faced my calling several years back in the early 90’s after being called many years before that, I ran from it. But I came to know who I wanted to run too, so I went to my pastor in the 90’s and told him. He told me I was mistaken, that God had not called me because he as pastor would have been told first by God. I have always asked questions when it came to the Word of God, so I asked “why would God come to you first to get your permission to call me to ministry?” He said that showed how little I knew about God and his ways. I dropped it for a couple of year as I studied and prayed, but I went before him again, and the answer this time, was if I would not put this idea that God had called me out of my head, he would called the other preacher that use to go to our church, but was now a pastor at another church and have her give me a serious talking to. This preacher had a very strong attitude and loved intimating younger women, and the pastor knew she scared me and could intima date me. So I shut my mouth again, and started praying harder. Things turned around worst in my church for me and my family where the pastor started treating us really nasty and allowing others to treat us the same way. There ways nothing we could do right anymore, and he would even get in the pull pit and through out bad remarks out by misusing scripture at me more than my children. There were other he started licensing to preach, a young woman who had two children out of wedlock, and still living with her boyfriend. His grandson who was in and out of a mental health facility and is of this day still there. I stayed and worked but I also kept studying and became a licensed minister through a certified seminary school. He refused to even acknowledge me then, so I gave up trying again. Our church is under his control and what ever he says goes, and since the way he treated me and my family became the way some of the other members treated us that way too. My family left. They no longer go to church anywhere. I resent that from my heart and I have made no excuses on how I feel. Therefore I have been ostracized by him and the church members. I’m on the brink of leaving. But the Holy Spirit instructed me to forgive him because I was giving a purpose in serving the Lord right there in this church. And until the Lord says so, I cannot leave. I was given the purpose of writing the church legacy and to write it according to the Holy Spirit instructions, and not the pastor’s instructions. AT first when I told him about the legacy, he was happy it was to be done, and started to compiled all this stuff on his behalf and about what he has done for the church to be put in it. I told him I am under instructions of the Holy Spirit and this I had to do according to the will of God. He blew up. and told me if he could not direct what went in this I could not write it. I’ve been writing it for two years and i’m almost done. He has treated me horrible and others have too on his behalf, but God! I am slowly feeling the heaviness of this burden receding from my heart but the problem that has kept from finishing it is the forgiveness part on how he has treated me and disrespected me, abused me and spiritually harassed me over the years but I needed to know whether I hated him. I don’t feel hate like that, I feel hurt to the bone, because I loved his wife, him, and his family. They would come to me for help on things when they could not got to anyone else. Now it’s mostly betrayal, and I don’t feel as if the Holy Spirit even lives in our church anymore. But I got an answer through your post this morning. And now I realize that no matter what just forgive and let God do the rest. He has said He will fight our battles if our faith stays on Him. Therefore I have to say thank you so much, because if I had not seen this post, I would not be feeling free right now. And yes i’m in tears, but they are cleansing tears. I had to write this in order to really be able to let go and let God be who I know He is. Thanks again. I will continue in the Lord, bless you so much.
All I can say is “wow” and praise God as He works in you cause in your distress, as you Praise and worship our Lord and Savior…the enemy must bow and flee in Jesus Mighty Name.
This is just what I’ve been search for. Someone to tell me exactly how I’m struggling with bitterness. But I love the Lord and fear Him. I want to his will but was stuck in the mire or hurt and anger. Truth…this article is pure truth! The Holy Spirit is evident in this writer! Thank you
This article has saved my life, my husband of 17 years is involved with a woman for the past 6 months. He is with her right now, spending our money to make her happy. On yesterday I saw in our bank account he purchased $200 in lingerie from Victoria Secrets, he has been doing this type of thing over the past months. I have been crushed, depressed, you name it angry, bitter, jealous, thoughts of suicide, hate, but after reading this article it took me 3 hours to read all of it. I am renewed by God’s grace I have asked the Holy Spirit to perform supernatural internal spiritual surgery to pull out all of this unGodlyness now I am free! I forgive both of them & give them into the hands of our Lord. I have a renewed zest for life, am beginning to work on my Vision bord formy life going forward. Thank you for your God-given wisdom in writing this article.
I am so sorry your undergoing all these, I pray god to give you peace and calmness to let go of all this hurt from you
Hi, I know when we are serious our forgiveness. My mother was very abusive to me as I was growing up and I got saved later in life. And learned about forgiveness, many times I would confess with my mouth to forgive her. Not until I went to a different church, this lady who did not know me, was praying for me and Holy Spirit revealed my unforgiveness to my mom. She lead me through renouncing lies I had believed from Satan and asked God to forgive me for unforgiveness. The Lord showed me my mother how He saw her, innocent, as a little girl. I wept and forgave her. The lady prayed for me and an unclean spirit shot out of me. God delivered me, I felt like a semi truck was lifted off of my chest and I could breathe. I felt lite as a feather. God is Wonderful He is willing to cleanse us from our afflictions and sin.
That was great learning for me about FORGIVENESS. I was stuck. Opened my spiritual heart even more. Thank you. God is Good
what about demonic negative energy and the person is still working with you and although you forgave them still are determined to harm or kill you with this vicious evil act.