Valentine’s Day is a unique holiday in that there is a prerequisite in order to celebrate it properly. Valentine’s Day is for people who are in romantic relationships.
So, for all the folks not in romantic relationships, I suppose it’s up to them to either scrap Valentine’s Day all together or channel that affection toward friends or family, using Valentine’s Day as a means of showing love in general even if it is not the romantic sort.
Valentine’s Day is one holiday that does not directly have its roots in the Bible, but the notion of displaying your love for all of the world to see is definitely a Biblical idea.
The Bible speaks on several occasions of romantic love, even though the Bible was written during a time in which being romantically in love with someone was not necessarily a requirement for marriage.
During Biblical times, marriages were often arranged when people were still children. Marriages were often looked at more as a business contract between two families, rather than a love affair between two people.
That being the case, when a couple did really, truly fall in love, and the Bible mentions it, it makes it all the more special, because back then it was kind of a rare thing.
The story of Ruth and Boaz is just such a story. It is filled with the most unlikely characters, finding each other in Providential ways. I have always loved the story of Ruth and Boaz, but I, like most people, have thought of it as a sweet love story in the Old Testament.
But upon closer reading I found that there is much to be “gleaned” from this story for Christians in all stages of their life. Those who are single, those who are starting a relationship, as well as those who are married can all learn important lessons from this ultimate Biblical Valentine’s story.
Single Ruth
When the story unfolds in chapter 1, Ruth and Naomi have been hit with tragedy. Both are newly widowed and searching for their way in the world. Being a widow in a foreign land put Naomi at a huge disadvantage. As long as Ruth and her sister-in-law Orpah stayed attached to Naomi they were at a disadvantage as well.
Being young, the two Moabitish girls could easily find new husbands and continue their lives. Naomi had only one choice: return to her homeland. Knowing that her daughters-in-law would be looked down on in Judah, she encouraged them to stay in Moab and start a new life.
Ruth 1:6-9:
6 Then she arose with her daughters in law, that she might return from the country of Moab: for she had heard in the country of Moab how that the Lord had visited his people in giving them bread.
7 Wherefore she went forth out of the place where she was, and her two daughters in law with her; and they went on the way to return unto the land of Judah.
8 And Naomi said unto her two daughters in law, Go, return each to her mother’s house: the Lord deal kindly with you, as ye have dealt with the dead, and with me.
9 The Lord grant you that ye may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband. Then she kissed them; and they lifted up their voice, and wept.
Orpah saw the practicality in Naomi’s advice, and sadly returns, leaving her mother-in-law and sister-in-law behind. But in Ruth 1:14-18 we see that Ruth makes a different decision.
Ruth 1:14-18:
14 And they lifted up their voice, and wept again: and Orpah kissed her mother in law; but Ruth clave unto her.
15 And she said, Behold, thy sister in law is gone back unto her people, and unto her gods: return thou after thy sister in law.
16 And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
17 Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.
18 When she saw that she was stedfastly minded to go with her, then she left speaking unto her.
The first thing that we learn about single Ruth, is that she is a selfless and loyal person. It was no secret that the Hebrews were not super friendly to foreigners. It was also no secret that Hebrew men preferred Hebrew virgins for brides. What marriage prospects would there be for a widowed Moabite? There was absolutely nothing for Ruth to gain personally by making this decision.
This choice to travel with her mother-in-law to a distant land was an entirely selfless act, a decision made entirely based on her love and devotion for the woman.
This was an uncommon thing for a single person back then and it is today as well. There is almost an obsession with relationships today that can easily be seen by how quickly individuals hop for one relationship to the next.
Whether singled through a breakup, a divorce, or death, people act as though there is a time bomb set on them, and if they hesitate for a moment before starting a new relationship they might just blow up.
Not only was Ruth in no hurry to hop into her next relationship, here she is making a choice, that for all practical purposes, was going to completely ruin her chances of finding a new husband. She did not let her need for a relationship blind her to the relationships right in front of her.
One lesson that single Christians can learn from Ruth is focus on what is in front of you. Spending all of your energy wishing for something is a waste of time. God has already blessed you with many great relationships. Invest your self into those relationships for now.
The next lesson taught by Ruth can be found in Ruth chapter 2:2.
Ruth 2:2:
2 And Ruth the Moabitess said unto Naomi, Let me now go to the field, and glean ears of corn after him in whose sight I shall find grace. And she said unto her, Go, my daughter.
Again, rather than obsess about finding a new husband, Ruth puts her time to good use. She volunteers to go work for her little family. If you will notice, Ruth is actually taking steps that would, practically speaking, hinder her from finding a new relationship. Sweating and dirty in the field is probably not how most women would present themselves when they are looking for a guy.
It is obvious by Ruth’s choices and actions that finding a new relationship was not on her list of priorities. Single people can learn much from this attitude. When we obsess over something, it can actually slow down our progress in life. It is when we relax and allow God to simply work, that we see things begin to unfold according to God’s will. This is exactly what happened to Ruth.
Single Boaz
Providence has always been one of my favorite attributes of God. Providence is defined as, “the protective care of God.” I once heard Providence also defined it this way: God putting the pieces of your life together exactly the way He likes.
The story of Ruth and Boaz is all about Providence, but the tricky part about Providence is that it only works when we are living surrendered to the moving and leading of the Holy Spirit. Boaz lived this way. Boaz listened to the voice of God, rather than to the voice of society. This is one of the reasons Ruth’s nationality had no effect on him at all.
Ruth 2:4-9:
4 And, behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem, and said unto the reapers, The Lord be with you. And they answered him, The Lord bless thee.
5 Then said Boaz unto his servant that was set over the reapers, Whose damsel is this?
6 And the servant that was set over the reapers answered and said, It is the Moabitish damsel that came back with Naomi out of the country of Moab:
7 And she said, I pray you, let me glean and gather after the reapers among the sheaves: so she came, and hath continued even from the morning until now, that she tarried a little in the house.
8 Then said Boaz unto Ruth, Hearest thou not, my daughter? Go not to glean in another field, neither go from hence, but abide here fast by my maidens:
9 Let thine eyes be on the field that they do reap, and go thou after them: have I not charged the young men that they shall not touch thee? and when thou art athirst, go unto the vessels, and drink of that which the young men have drawn.
When Boaz first saw Ruth, God moved his heart, and he did not let his head get in the way. There were plenty of reasons not to show kindness to Ruth. She was a foreigner, she was a widow (not a great marriage choice for Hebrew men) she was also coming into his fields looking for free food while the community was recovering from a famine.
You would imagine that most people would not be in a generous mood after they had spent a few months without food themselves.
None of this phased Boaz. From the moment he laid eyes on her and asked the question, “Whose damsel is this?” Boaz was on board with God’s Providence. He was willing to see where this ride would take him.
The lesson that single Christians can learn from Boaz is a lesson of surrender. The voice of God can be so easily drowned out by the multitude of other voices battling for our attention. Society, our families, our friends, our own brains all have something to say about every choice we make. It all comes down to who will you listen to?
Many Christians struggle with a lack of confidence in listening to the voice of God. They wonder if it is really God leading them. The only way to build this confidence is to spend time alone with God in prayer and meditation daily.
If you do not carve out this time, and I do mean consciously carve it out the same way a carpenter carves a sculpture, you will miss it. If you do not use the time to quiet your mind and connect with God, you will always be second guessing yourself. When you are truly connected to God there will not be a lot of confusion or second-guessing. You will discover a new kind of confidence you’ve never known before.
Just like Boaz boldly asked about Ruth and then even more boldly showed his preference for her in front of everyone that day, you too will be able to boldly make choices and move forward on your journey with God.
Ruth and Boaz Together
I have always thought of Ruth and Boaz as basically a couple once we get to chapter 2 verse 10, because from there on out the language between the two is definitely one of tenderness and concern. So, for the sake of this study, we will consider them now in an affectionate relationship starting in verse 10.
Ruth 2:10-12:
10 Then she fell on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him, Why have I found grace in thine eyes, that thou shouldest take knowledge of me, seeing I am a stranger?
11 And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore.
12 The Lord recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.
As single people Ruth and Boaz offer us much to learn, but as a couple they offer even more.
Gratitude
One of the first things I see in verse 10 is gratitude. Obviously Ruth was not in much of a position to not be grateful, but it is still a good lesson for people who are dating.
How much dating drama could be avoided if we just show a little gratitude toward each other? People in budding relationships are struggling to get to know each other, get comfortable with each other, and make huge life decisions about whether or not they want to spend their lives together in marriage. It is a lot of pressure. That pressure does not need to be further complicated with unnecessary drama.
A little gratitude goes a long way.
The Lifting Up Principal
The next lesson I see from Ruth and Boaz for dating couples would be the Lifting Up Principal. The Lifting Up Principal is a principal that should be applied to all relationships and friendships, but most importantly romantic relationships that are heading toward marriage.
The Lifting Up Principal simply means that you should constantly be evaluating the relationship to see if this person is lifting you up to a higher place spiritually, personally, and practically and are you doing the same for them. Do they encourage you to be a better Christian? Do they encourage you to be a better person? A good relationship will bring you closer to God and closer to your goals.
We see Boaz lifting Ruth up in verse 11. He acknowledges her selflessness and her spirituality. He encourages her in the Lord to keep up her good work for her family. Everything in verse 11 and 12 is positive and spiritual.
Also, note that Boaz says nothing about wanting anything for himself. He doesn’t ask anything of Ruth personally for himself. Nothing in the verses are about him. He is totally focused on encouraging her.
Christians who are dating, regardless of their age, should beware of individuals who are constantly focusing on what you can provide for them. Boaz shews us a great example of the selflessness that is required for a spiritual relationship.
Generosity
The next lesson I see for couples is one of generosity.
Ruth 2:13-16:
13 Then she said, Let me find favour in thy sight, my lord; for that thou hast comforted me, and for that thou hast spoken friendly unto thine handmaid, though I be not like unto one of thine handmaidens.
14 And Boaz said unto her, At mealtime come thou hither, and eat of the bread, and dip thy morsel in the vinegar. And she sat beside the reapers: and he reached her parched corn, and she did eat, and was sufficed, and left.
15 And when she was risen up to glean, Boaz commanded his young men, saying, Let her glean even among the sheaves, and reproach her not:
16 And let fall also some of the handfuls of purpose for her, and leave them, that she may glean them, and rebuke her not.
Boaz did not weigh out how much this would cost him. He did not tell his servants to measure the grain so that he could calculate how much he was giving. Boaz gave unconditionally. He also gave secretly. He didn’t even want Ruth to know what he was up to.
When most relationships begin to falter, the problem can almost always be traced back to a lack of generosity of some kind. Perhaps it is not over material things, though sometimes it certainly could be. In most cases it is a kind of personal generosity which we hold back from others.
We really don’t mind sharing our food, our homes, our cars or even our money. But what about those deeply personal things? Our time, our attention, our pride. How much of that are we willing to sacrifice?
How generous are you with these intangibles? Do you bristle when your time gets invaded or “snatched” away? Do you struggle to really apply your attention and listen to your partner when they need you to?
Do you greedily hold on to your pride during a disagreement, when sacrificing your pride would be the path of peace?
These are things that rarely pop up on our radar when we think of generosity. To us generosity means buying someone a nice birthday gift. Taking our date to a nice restaurant or maybe even helping financially with a need.
Although these are important ways to show generosity as well, those intangible things are what will really feed the spiritual bond in a relationship. Unfortunately, those are also the things that we struggle with sharing the most. They are the most valuable.
Boaz probably could have offered Ruth gold or jewels or some pretty clothes. But in the context of the story, his community had just experienced a famine. Food was far more valuable at that time than gold or jewels. He gave her the thing of great value freely.
Are you giving your partner the thing of great value freely? This will be what feeds and nourishes your relationship more than anything else.
Also, if you notice in verse 16 Boaz did all this not expecting any praise or repayment in return.
Ruth 2:16:
16 And let fall also some of the handfuls of purpose for her, and leave them, that she may glean them, and rebuke her not.
Another terrible habit which couples get into is this, “you owe me,” mentality. Are you constantly keeping score of how many nice things you did versus how many nice things the other did? This is not spiritual.
This is not how Christ gave of himself. Boaz didn’t even want her to know it was him. He didn’t use this as an opportunity to get the advantage on her. He certainly could have. He was in a position where he could have pressured her in a lot of ways.
That was not what Boaz was about though, because he loved her. When you love someone you will not use your past kindness or generosity as leverage to get something you want in the future. You will not remind the other constantly of all you have done for them. This is not godly, and it does not come from a place of love.
Purity
Probably one of the most important lessons that Ruth and Boaz can teach couples both dating and married is a lesson in purity.
Ruth 3:12-14:
12 And now it is true that I am thy near kinsman: howbeit there is a kinsman nearer than I.
13 Tarry this night, and it shall be in the morning, that if he will perform unto thee the part of a kinsman, well; let him do the kinsman’s part: but if he will not do the part of a kinsman to thee, then will I do the part of a kinsman to thee, as the Lord liveth: lie down until the morning.
14 And she lay at his feet until the morning:
Boaz knew that he could not properly take Ruth just yet. There was another kinsmen who must be notified first. According to Jewish customs this person would basically have a right to marry Ruth if he so chose.
Despite his obvious affection to her, Boaz was willing to control himself and do things the proper way. His decision is significant when you consider that in these verses the two are alone, at midnight in a secluded place. Even in this scenario Boaz chooses purity. He chooses to do things the right and proper way.
When we discuss purity we often only think of dating couples, but purity is just as important for married couples. Purity simply means without contamination. That means different things for married couples than it does for dating couples, but it is still important.
Dating couples must protect the purity of their bodies, and save themselves for marriage, but married couples must protect the purity of their marriage and keep themselves only to their spouse.
Boaz made his choice to follow the route of purity despite his own desire and despite the convenience of the situation. Purity will always feel like a challenge. But it is a very rewarding challenge which always provides a most valuable prize in the end.
The Rewards
The final lesson that Ruth and Boaz can teach singles, dating couples and married couples is that when we follow God concerning our relationships we will reap the reward of His will manifested in our lives.
Ruth 4:13-22:
13 So Boaz took Ruth, and she was his wife: and when he went in unto her, the Lord gave her conception, and she bare a son.
14 And the women said unto Naomi, Blessed be the Lord, which hath not left thee this day without a kinsman, that his name may be famous in Israel.
15 And he shall be unto thee a restorer of thy life, and a nourisher of thine old age: for thy daughter in law, which loveth thee, which is better to thee than seven sons, hath born him.
16 And Naomi took the child, and laid it in her bosom, and became nurse unto it.
17 And the women her neighbours gave it a name, saying, There is a son born to Naomi; and they called his name Obed: he is the father of Jesse, the father of David.
18 Now these are the generations of Pharez: Pharez begat Hezron,
19 And Hezron begat Ram, and Ram begat Amminadab,
20 And Amminadab begat Nahshon, and Nahshon begat Salmon,
21 And Salmon begat Boaz, and Boaz begat Obed,
22 And Obed begat Jesse, and Jesse begat David.
Love and relationships can feel like a complicated thing sometimes. But when we submit to the Providence of God, He will take us on a ride we could have never planned out for ourselves. He will do it in His time and in His way.
While Ruth was mourning for her dead husband in Moab, she could have never imagined that God was setting in place a new life, a new husband and new future for her in another country.
She certainly could have never imagined that she and her beloved Boaz would be the great grandparents of the mighty King David out of whose lineage one day would be born our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.