I know this next topic is going to be a very sensitive one for many in the Body of Christ. Not only are there many unbelievers who are engaging in this sin and transgression against God, but there are many Christians themselves who are violating and breaking this one specific commandment from the Lord.
With the sexual imagery that is now invading our lives from just about every media outlet, many people are battling serious problems with lust. And instead of getting their sexual needs properly met in their marriages, many people are looking outside the boundary lines of their marriages for sexual fulfillment.
As a result, you have many Christians who are out cheating behind their spouse’s back and are literally sinning and transgressing against God Almighty Himself.
I cannot even begin to count the number of Christians I have personally met throughout the course of my life who have regularly cheated on their spouses.
I have heard many of the men say that their lower half has no conscious, and if they find a pretty or willing woman, that there is no way they could ever say no or pass it up.
Others are not getting their sexual needs met or fulfilled within their marriages. Communication has shut down for different reasons, and as a result, their love life starts to get shut down right along with everything else.
As a result of not getting their sexual needs properly met, many of these men start to wander, and before they know it, they have fallen head first into a hot and torrid adulterous affair.
For those of you who really want to know what God the Father thinks about this particular sin, I will give you some very interesting verses from the Bible letting you know exactly what He thinks about this transgression and why it is so deadly in His eyes.
As with all of the rest of the commandments God has given to us through His Holy Word – these specific verses are being given to us for our own benefit and for our protection.
Many Christians I have met who are operating in this transgression on a regular and frequent basis have no real fear of the Lord or any respect for His specific commandments on this issue.
As you will see when I list out the specific verses on this topic, this is a very serious offense against the Lord, and many of His own will becoming in for some very severe judgments on this issue once they depart from this life and cross over into the Judgment Seat of Christ for their own personal judgment with the Lord for everything they have ever done or said in this life, whether it be good or whether it be bad.
Consider the following:
- God has the sin of adultery listed as one of His special ten commandments – “Thou shall not commit adultery.”
- God says that the sin of adultery will be one of the main sins that will keep you out of heaven. I will give you two verses below that will show you that adulterers will not be entering into the kingdom of heaven. Does this edict include Christians?Can a Christian possibly lose their salvation over this one sin by the way these verses are worded if his transgressions in this area have been deemed to be severe enough by the Lord?
- The Bible says that God hates divorce, but that He will allow one spouse to leave the other within a marriage union if one of the spouses has been unfaithful to the other.
- Back in the Old Testament, the sin of adultery warranted receiving the death penalty by way of stoning if one got caught in it.
- Back in the Old Testament when God’s chosen people, the Jews, were abandoning Him and chasing after other gods – God the Father would call them “harlots and adulterers” because they would not stay true, loyal, and faithful to Him.When God calls you an “adulterer” straight to your face in your own personal relationship with Him, you are being called one of the worse things that He can possibly call you.
I personally believe that there is an “angle” on this particular sin that many Christians are not seeing or realizing. Not only are you hurting yourself, your marriage, your spouse, and your children with this deadly sin and transgression, but you are also seriously hurting and damaging your own personal relationship with the Lord Himself.
Here is the angle that many Christians who are regularly operating in this sin are not seeing:
If you cannot stay true, loyal, and faithful to your spouse, to your marriage, and to your children – then maybe God will wonder whether or not you could ever stay true, loyal, and faithful to Him for the rest of your eternal existence once you enter into heaven.
Satan and one third of the angels could not stay loyal and faithful to God for the long run, and look what happened to all of them – they all got cast out of heaven with no chance of ever being able to make it back in again.
The Jewish people back in the Old Testament could not stay true, loyal, and faithful to the Lord in all of His dealings with them, and again, look what happened to all of them as a nation and as a people near the end of the Old Testament.
God called them harlots and adulterers, pronounced judgment on them, and tells them that they will be dispersed to the four corners of the globe until the end of time where He would then bring them back to Israel and re-establish them as a nation.
I believe that marriage, and the vows and promises that go along with it, are taken very, very seriously by the Lord – and from there, He will personally watch you as to how you handle the sanctity of your marriage, how you treat your spouse and children, and if you will be tempted to stray and cheat behind your spouse’s back.
Too many people end up taking their marriages for granted after a certain period of time.
I believe marriage, and the close personal relationships that should develop between husband and wife, and between parents and their children should only be second to their own personal relationships with the Lord. It should be God, family, and friends – and in that order!
Family – with a beautiful wife or husband, and with one or more beautiful children, are the greatest blessings and treasure that God can bestow upon you in this earthly life next to Him, His Son Jesus, and His Holy Spirit.
And yet as great as this blessing and treasure really is, there are so many people who are willing to discard it, sever it, and cheat on it once they hit a few minor speed bumps in the marriage.
To those of you who are married and are either thinking about committing adultery behind your spouse’s back, or if you are already doing it – study the wording, the tone, and the straight forward messages that are coming out the verses I will list below. Study these verses very, very carefully.
Once you read these verses, you will have been properly warned by God Himself through His Word, and you will know, without any other possible interpretation, exactly what God the Father’s opinion really is on this issue.
Bottom line – if you are having any problems in your marriage, commit your life and your marriage back into God the Father’s hand, and ask Him to help heal, restore, and straighten out any thing that needs repairing.
Be guided by the Holy Spirit as to what steps you should be taking on your end to get the marriage back on solid ground with you, your spouse, and with God. Tackle your problems and issues head on, operating under God’s knowledge, guidance, and wisdom.
Jumping into any kind of an adulterous affair will only make matters worse, and eventually could lead to the complete destruction and dissolution of your marriage if your spouse ever finds out about it.
The pain you will cause your spouse and children will be extreme, traumatic, and possibly fatal and final if the transgression has been deemed to be severe enough by your spouse.
If God has completely severed His personal connection to Satan and one third of the angels due to their infidelity and rebellion against Him, and if He will allow a full marriage union to be completely broken, severed, and dissolved if one of the spouses becomes guilty of committing adultery – do not tempt the fate of your married life for a few moments of fleshly and carnal pleasure.
The gamble and the risk is simply not worth it – either for you, your spouse, or your children.
Now part 2 on the Sin of Adultery will show you very interesting verses from Scripture as what God really thinks about this specific sin and transgression and my conclusion.
Can a man be forgiven of Audltery? How can I find my way back to Christ and God? I am lost and it has taken some time to get to this point. We have been separated and all, but I still broke my convient with my wife and God. And to make matters worse, I did it with three women in the last 6 months. My wife and I we separated while living in the same house and while I moved off to Texas. I have done the one thing that will surely end my marriage for good even though my wife says she may want to work out hte marriage, but she does not know yet that it was with three different people, basically one night stands. I have been back slidden for serval years but I knew better. Now, I have lost my salvation and my marriage. I understand that i can not remarry and that is ok, but can I regain salvation and if so how?
I am so empty and now I can definitely understand what God and Jesus means about adultery being a sin against ones body and I will never be the same, and will never be an honorable or respectibale man and father again, and I fear I can never regain my salvation and have hit an all time low. I truly never thought I could have done this type of thing, but I have and it was multible times and i fully am aware that I now must pay the price here on earth and apparently eve nwith my salvation.
If you can give me some guidence (I fully understand that I am unworthy and that I should have asked before I did anything, but unfortunately I never consulted anyone and my wife warned me and I failed to listen) on if it is possible to regain salvation and if a marriage can ever be restored in God’s eyes and made honaorabe in God’s eyes after I commited such a sin and action against my wife, my body, and my God? Please give me the truth, even if there is no hope.
Thanks,
Gary
As long as you are alive. There is hope. Cry out to the Lord and repent. If you truly mean it
He will forgive you. I don’t know what is going to happen with your marriage but it doesn’t hurt to pray about it.
Gary,
Remember in the Bible where the desiple asks Jesus’s how many times should he forgive his brother, and Jesus says 70×7 ( I believe that was the number) just as Jesus expects us to forgive so he forgives.
According to the Tora, which was the original writings, there must be 3-Forgivnesses. The First from GOD, secondly the Adulter and lastly from the husband/wife that had the sin commited against them. One or maybe even the third may oblige…good luck to you?
I knew about adultery, but reading these versus has scared me to death. I am a Christian, married to a non-christian and have experienced some strong issues in my marriage because of it. I committed adultery but have repented and asked for forgiveness and will NOT be doing it again. I do not have any children just a husband. Reading these passages that have been posted suggest that there is no hope for an adulterer. You commit adultery and that is it, you are doomed to an eternity in hell. What about God’s love, forgiveness and mercy?
I believe God knows what’s in your heart and he gave his only son Jesus Christ to die for our sins. Jesus does forgive like we should. There is not one person in the world that does not sin in one way or another. God Bless and prayers to you my friend.
Jehovah is willing to forgive a repentant heart. He lo Kid at the heart. He is love.
To you Dear brother in Christ that has been with 3 women in the last 6 months I want to assure you that you have not lost your salvation from committing adultery. You must understand that Christ died for every sin “EVERY SIN”. The only sin that can not be forgiven is “Blasphemy OF THE HOLY SPIRIT” Matt. 12:22-32 Blashemy of the holy spirit means to give up your salvation to cast of the holy spirit that dwells in you. Repentance is the key for forgiveness of Sin. You have stepped into a Attack that will seem as if it will surly take your life. I can speak with direct knowledge on this subject as I to had an affair that lead to the women my mistress becoming pregnant and now having my child. My Dear Friend you are not divorced yet possibly you must confess your sin to God understand the filth of the sin you have committed and GOD will forgive you. If your are divorced or will be divorced you still have forgiveness and you will not loose your salvation…. REPENT The Greek Word to repent means to BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN & EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE.Totally turn your life around do not go back into you house “House being your Sin” Remember Lots WIFE in Sodom & Gomorrah she turned to look back upon that sinfully city… Romans 8:38 nothing can separate the love of Christ. The Women at the Well John 4 1:42 Christ after speaking this women about having 5 husbands and being with a man currently that was not her husband ( 5 marriages and having an affair) he offers her forgiveness. Also she being a reject of a person (In the Worlds EYES) lead and inti group of people to Christ.NO you cannot loose your Salvation over your Sin you will however pay consequences for your actions. Despise not the chastising of the Lord whom he correcth he lovet.Proverbs 3:11. Left unrepeated, unconfessed you will not prosper and your life will be held in the state of your sin. Great things can come from rejects and repented sinners, looks at Davids life. David had affairs, Lied, Murdered…. A man after Gods on heart
Matthew, what about non-repentant sinners? OSAS is a lie, and is tearing HIS church apart.
Bradley can you please tell me which article will help me? I am recently divorced and the guilt and confusion are very bad as a christian! We got divorced since we should have never got married 15 years ago.We only stayed together for 15 years because off the kids. There is no love or any kind off relationship between us for many years. We have tried to save the marriage but it never worked, it just got worst.We were not believers in the Lord when we got married, I only recently started locking for the Lord. But can you please explain how God will react, what I need to do and if I still have hope to go to heaven? What is allowed after divorce and my life in the future?
Thank You very much!!
I am scared, sorry, i feel like the worst woman in this world, i married my husband at a very young age, i was 17, we had a kid at at 16. Along our young marriage we encountered many problems and i cheated. The very same moment i cheated i ran away to find my husband to tell him what i had done, my husband couldnt beleive what i did. He forgave by the Grace of God. I repented and even babtized in the waters and changed. I felt forgiven, however i held feelings for the man i committed adultery with, exactly one year later my husband left to get his citizenship, i was doing so good until i decided to randomly find out how the man i cheated with was doing, it was the worst mistake i ever made! I ended up awakening those old feelings and once again i cheated, i feel disgusted of myself, i feel damned, and i am so frightened, i dont want to do this ever again! I love God, my Husband, and my son, i want to keep my family, but i feel like a hipocryt, how do i tell my husban i cheated with the same person again? He forgave me once, i doubt he will do it again…. i asked God for forgiveness, but will he forgive me after falling for the same sin AGAIN! I just want God to forgive me, i removed all contact with that man again, if he ever tries to talk to me again i dont want to ever respond, i just want to leave this life of sin, and do what it takes for God to forgive me, for the 2nd time, is there any hope? Am i still going to be punished, i am so hurt, my heart, mind, soul, and concious feel so dirty, i dont ever wanna fall again, i want to be forgiven, will God forgive me again? I am so scared, ive been talking to God, ive promised i wont do it again, im trying to remedy what i did by fasting and leaving and changing anything that will keep me away y from his forgiveness, am i headed the right direction? i just wanna do what is right in the eyes of God, will he forgive me again?
First I would like to say this information has truly been a blessing to me. I would like to share a part of my life & pray that me being true will help others in their struggles. In my life I have been married twice. When I got married the first time I went through mental and physical abuse during this time I was not saved and all I knew is that someone else could love me better than the man I married. I knew it was wrong to cheat but i didnt know how wrong. I met a man that I thought was going to love me for life and I ended up divorcing my 1st husband for him. This man almost destroyed my life and I eventually wised up and left him. A few years later I met the man I am married to now and through him I was drawn to Jesus Christ and have been walking with Christ every since. I also discover the love I was looking for in a man will never be like Christ love for me. The Lord used my current husband to save me from hell and suddenly it was like our roles were reversed. I was serving God with all my heart and my current husband started having an affair while i was pregnant. I forgave him andthought things would get better but things got worse. My husband has walked out of our marriage every year of the five years we have been married. He is gone now and I believe there is another woman again and has been each time he has left. I know what the bible says about unfaithfulness in marriage but it also says this is not how it was in the beginning and God hates divorce. I dont have the desire to retaliate because vengence is not mine but God’s.I pray for my husband everyday and that is all I can do for him. I know that he has to be the one to want to change. This has tore my family apart. Him and his daughter live with his parents and my and our 3 year old son live in the apartment. This really hurts because he has chosen to live a separate life and this is not a very good example for our son. At this time all I have is God and He has kept me through these trying times. I want to encourage all to love God first and He will teach you how to love yourself.
Ok, I am struggling with all this.. Good write up with the clear understanding that adultery is sin. On the flip side there an way out of this sin. Just “ Repent and ask for forgiveness” and as you read above, you go out and do it again. But hold on, Just repent and ask for forgiveness. Not to be a pill, but I am lost on what to do…
Currently my wife has fallen to the adultery, not once but many times. I read and see that God approves divorce. On the other hand, while the innocent party may have grounds for divorce, God’s preference is forgiveness and reconciliation. “My vote is forgiveness and reconciliation”, one thing I have no dought about is the wife he provided me. My wife and I are now currently separated and it only been about 40 days.. She contacted me today and now on the trend to come back. Now I lost on how to accept her back. (in a heartbeat not a problem).. I know it is domed to happen again if we don’t get God in our life to follow. I don’t know how to lead her down the correct path. (will the path I believe in).. Worst part I can’t see or hear God wisdom and I keep asking. Don’t know if I blind to hear it or I just don’t understand. I going to pass this web page to her. But as I read, one hand say .. bad and stay away, the other hand says OK, just repent and Its all ok..
FYI – The wright up is outstanding. Thanks
I have found a lot of my questions on this subject answered in this article. The one that I have pondered on the most is adulty in the marriage blashpemy againest the Holy Ghost? I find your explination in line with the word of GOD and I can agree with you. Have faith in GOD my fellow christians ask GODS forgiveness and he will lead you in the way of peace and heaven.JESUS knows what it feels like to be betrayed and his love is eternal for us. I ask daily for forgiveness just because I Love GOD, I believe it is part of my worship of him and I thank him for it constantly in my heart.
To Bob C, I cheated on my husband once, while we were having major problems and i right away told him. He forgave me and i promised him and God i wouldn’t do it again. Our relationship became stronger. Well he has been out of the country for 3 months and i did it once again after 1 year with the same man, we aren’t having any problems this time other than distance. I love my husband with all of my heart. I never wanted to hurt him. I had never been with any one else other than my husband and the man i cheated with. i don’t know that i should tell my husband again, i don’t think he will forgive me a second time, but i know i don’t want to do it again. i removed contact with the other man again. i told him i love my husband, my son, and i didn’t want to lose my salvation. I am very honest about my repentance. I hope your wife is as well. I promise you infidelity is not something i enjoy or have fun with. i believe its a weakness that only the devil enjoys. He always wants to destroy what God has made. Of course it is our choice, i take full responsibility. My husband and i worked through our marriage and remained strong only because we turned to God, but i slipped when he left. I didn’t continue to fight the battle against the devil and stepped a little away from God. He immediately took advantage of it and look at what i did, i know i could have stopped but i didn’t. I think the only way you and your wife will work it out is if you both truly give your life to God. But be careful, don’t give your life momentarily, by only weeks months, or even a years. Do it 100% every day of your life, for the rest of your life. Give it all up and fallow him, he will guide you and he will talk to you. Help your wife find God. It will be hard, the devil will attack, he is evil and is only doing everything to kill, rob, and destroy. But he is damned, and already lost the war, he is only trying to take our souls with him. Whether or not you return with your wife, don’t let the devil take her soul or yours. Fight and withstand it all for there will be battles that only God will help you overcome. I pray everyday that he helps me to never again fall. My husband does’t know i did it again, but i know i stopped for the love of my husband, son, and GOD.
God Bless You All
Let us not forget that this is a spiritual warfare we are in. Satan is against the Word of God and anyone connected to God, satatn wants to destroy. No matter what you are going through or what your situation looks like, obedience to the Word of God is the final answer. Seek The Lord for His truth. This way you are 100% sure you are not operating in your feelings and emotions. Please remember that God forgives us time and time again for our sins and He still loves us the unconditionally. I am not saying it is ok to keep on sinning because its not. But it is not our place to hold a grudge against anyone. We must give it to God and let Him fix it. When you are engulfed in your situations and circumstances, this is a distraction from satan to keep you from doing God’s work. It will cause you to be ineffective in your witness to others. So please use wisdom and be careful. If you are commiting adultery please hear me when I say this: When you are really ready to stop doing so you will stop. With God’s help we can do anything. Please stop giving satan so much credit in your life. Stay in your Word and in through God’s Word you will overcome. True relationship with God changes everything! Seek God instead of your emotions and you will find Him. Seek Him with all you heart. God bless you all!
I believe it is truly all about repentance. To repent is to turn away from your sin – completely turn away. You also have to acknowledge that it is sin and that without Christ we don’t have the strength to do it.
My husband has been involved with his former high school sweetheart/fiance for the past 5 years. We’ve been married for 45 years. She came back into his life 5 years ago and told him that she was so sorry for breaking up with him and has regretted it all her life – has always loved him and wanted him back. He fell for it. When I found out about it a few months later he repented and asked forgiveness. I forgave and we went to counseling and worked very hard on getting our marriage on track. 2 years later he fell into it again and for the last 2 years has been playing in this relationship. I found out about it last December and we’ve been on a roller coaster ever since. He is a spirit filled Christian who satan is trying to take down. He has been a strong prayer warrier and has held board positions in church. Now although he goes to church he wants no part of being active. He refuses to let go of this woman (supposedly no sex – just ‘friendship’). He says he no longer loves me – and his feelings for her are too strong to let go of. For the past year he has told me over and over that they were finished only to have me find out that it was all lies and they never stopped. The lies are amazing – and I just keep believing him because I want our marriage back so badly. The 2 years we were in counseling were the best years of our marriage. We did everything together – he became my best friend.
Now I am just asking God for wisdom. Am I enabling my husband in his relationship with her by staying with him? My daughters say I am. They are so disgusted with him.
I read all the comments here and feel badly for all of us involved in this horror. Thank you Cheryl for your comment – that really sums it all up. Yes of course God forgives – but until you are ready to accept that forgiveness and turn from your ways you will never find peace. My husband has no peace and knows he never will until he gets this woman out of his life. I love him and been committed to stay and pray for/with him until that happens. I’m not sure if I can continue to do that – it will only be by God’s grace, if it is His will.
Pray the hedge of thornes… it is hosea 2: 5-7 over your husband.
I would say leave him and let him get a taste of what this other person is like. He is likely in a fog and confused but once he moves on with this person he will realize that you are the person he should be with. Especially if this woman is unsaved. Obviously he loves you otherwise he wouldn’t have married you in the first place. My husband did the same thing and after I threatened to let him go and after counseling and all that he realized that he was making a mistake.
To Cora:
Amen! My heart goes out to you in themidst of your situation. I want to encourage you to continue to seek God until you recieve an answer from Him. God is ALL POWERFUL & if God wanted to move your husband out of your life for good, He would have already done it. Remember that we have to trust God even when it hurts and doesnt make sense. Our struggles will be a testimony for someone else if we persevere till the end & God will be the one to get the glory! I know that your daughters are tired of seeing you go through this, but this is God’s business. Dont stop praying for your Husband & dont allow this to keep you from working for God. I am without my husband as well and it gets hard sometime because our son is 3 years old. But it only pushes me closer to God.Stay faithful to God and your marriage. God honors our obedience. May God bless you sister.
This is a demonic attack on families, men and women who fall into this sin are weak in multiple ways, they are first and foremost spiritually weak, and they have given into their flesh and desires. As victims of this sin, it’s important to let go and let God have the spouse or mate who has allowed this level of betrayal. The most important thing that can be done is PRAY for a person who is dealing with this issue, most of the time their pride wont allow them to release the sin, it requires deliverance from the Lord. This sin erodes the ability to love which is why a person can continue to function in it. The person who participates in this sin only cares about themselves and the person they are involved with. It’s best to move on with life and ask God for strength and healing for yourself the person that has been betrayed. Also teach your children that this is wrong and that nothing about this sin is their fault, especially daughters when it comes to their fathers betrayal. Remember the enemy is attacking families and destroying marriages, its up to both the husband and wife to pray and fight for their family. One person praying and fighting is not enough. LET GO OF THE THE PERSON AND LET GOD HVE AND DEAL WITH THEM. Move on with your life and trust that God will Bless you with someone better that is faithful and loyal. When the enemy has a person they have to be willing to turn to God, you can pray all night and day, but the reality is it’s free will choice to choose God over sin. Christ is the ultimate gentlemen, he doesn’t force himself on any one.
How can God send them someone who is better faithful & loyal as you put it? You do know that marriage is for life right. Saying that god will send them someone else would be calling god a liar because it would be causing them to sin.
@Michelle, I used to believe that too until I land upon rejoice marriage ministry. It you too are looking for answers and want to stand for your marriage when the enemy attacks. Please check out the website. Your belief in faith will grow much stronger. Don’t give up this spiritual battel.
I Wrote on November 23,11 what had happen to me, then I was given this from a friend. This could’t be said more beautifully, This is written in the Hebrew Talmud a Jewish companion of the first five books to the Torah.
It says: That God counts a women’s tear’s and men are to be warned to make sure that they do not cause their wives pain. (Baba Metzia 59)
God Bless all of you and no matter what God will see us through this.
I Think Cora spoke quite well on this subject, her advice was well said on obedience to God. However I think its pointless to hold on to a man that has moved on emotionally and physically in a marriage, and at some point a woman has to question her self worth & morals and let go and let God deal with a man who is capable of committing this horrific sin against his family. Unfortunately a man capable of these actions no longer loves God, his wife or his children and until he or she fully surrenders to God nothing will change for them. The best thing that any one affected by this can do is move on with their life in the Lord trusting in him completely, having all faith in him and allowing God to guide your steps. God won’t fail, God won’t never leave you nor forsake you, God won’t hurt you. Remember that greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world. To God be the Glory in your lives, Jesus has the victory and what satan meant for your harm God has for your good, all that we go thru is necessary for making of us to be the son’s and daughter’s God wants us to be.
I am convicted in the eyes of the Lord, and cannot forget that I have committed a sin against God and my wife. I am recently saved, but I cannot say that for I have a problem with my fleshly desires. The enemy tells me that I am casted out of heaven for the major events of sinful desires I had put onto myself. I am trying to get back up and continue my walk with God, but my transgressions keep me unfocused and out of place. I would like to confess of my sins, and declare that God is my saviour. I am broken and a wanderer. I am lost and can no longer declare my ways as a witness to the light that was once shown to me. I can not show others who are lost along with me for I would be a blind leading the blind. I just want to know that when I ask God to replace the old and give me the new that I am accepted forgiveness. I fight off temptations daily, but I have fallen into many. I ask the Lord for forgiveness today, January 6th, 2012, and help me to leave my old ways alone for they are no good to me and especially to God. If you, who are reading, please forgive me for I have sinned against Our Father. I am afraid, and I am lonely due to the entrance that I have given the enemy back into my life. I ask that you who are reading this, pray for my guidance back into the life God created me for. So that I may take up my cross, get my sight back and seek those who are lost. Thank you all for your time to hear my story. Amen
To Michelle:
This is not about what we think, it’s about what God says & His will being done in our lives.
To Jeff:
I will keep you in my prayers. i want to encourage you to seek God daily for guidance through prayer and reading your Bible. I commend you for being man enough to admit your short comings. When we confess with a sincere heart this is when The Lord steps in to help us out of the mess we have created and back on the right track. May God bless you and give you a made up mind tp want to do what is pleasing to Him. Men have a big resposibilty and the only way to be able to uphold being responsible is with God leading you on the path He has chosen for you.
Michelle,
The bible says the only way we are free to marry someone else is if our spouse passes away. What you are saying about God blessing us with someone else is not biblical at all. Please be careful with your choice of words because our souls are at stake. My husband has walked away but my prayers wont stop for Him because the Bible says pray without ceasing. So whether my husband is praying or not, I know God hears my prayers and honors my obedience for keeping my promise to Him and my husband. if he chooses not to obey God that is between him and God.As for fighting for the marriage, this battle is no longer ours but God’s and we must allow His will to be done & we cannot move until God says so. Yes when you say let go, I agree with that because you still have to live your life and allow God to handle the spouse. But I dont agree with letting go of the marriage. When you have God’s love in your heart you dont give up. Please Read 1 Corinthians 13 when you have time. No disrespect but we MUST obey God and not our emotions. Remember God hates divorce!
What happened? Was your marriage restored? Did you give up? Please let me know
@Cheryl,
I totally agree with you. Thank you for you wise words and discernment during the trails of storm in a marriage. I too would like to know if your marriage was reconcile.
I am terrified to read about the consequences of adultery. I cheated on my wife with a pastor’s wife, both of our marriages were in trouble, I felt neglected in my marriage because my wife was focusing her whole attention on our two kids,and I don’t blame her for that… we never or hardly ever went out on dates alone since we don’t have relatives where we live, the communication was already broken, when I met this other girl, there was immediately a spark between us, very strong chemistry and she said pretty much everything I wanted to hear and so did I for her….needless to say, we fell in love with each other, my wife found out about my infidelity not too long ago, and because of God’s mercy…she has decided to stick around with me…and show me GOD’s love…I’m having a really difficult time dealing with this problem, I feel unworthy to go to the LORD, not only because of my sin but also because I’m still in love with that person…my wife does not deserve anything I did to her, she has been a great wife to me…I have two kids and she has three, at one point we comtemplated the idea of divorcing our spouses and getting married, but we are both aware that we are stepping out of GODS will, I don’t want to be responsible for destroying a pastoral ministry and destroying my youth group (since Im the youth leader) many times I have asked GOD “why I didn’t meet this girl when I was single” I know the answer is simple…because it was not HIS will..I’m at the bottom of the pit right now…I can’t stop thinking about this other girl, everything I do or see reminds me of her…I don’t want to end up divorcing my wife loosing her and my two children, I feel so ashamed of myself and I’m also heartbroken because I fell in love with her…my wife is devastated and I have been thinking about seeking professional help for us….I know I have to let the other girl go…It’s just so hard because of the way I feel for her…
You are confused about the nature of love. You are in love with a mirage. You have never had to face the issues of finances, in-laws, time constraints, health problems, or the like, with this other woman, as you have your wife. Face your own selfishness and truly repent.
to Manny- Take your thoughts captive as it says in Corinthians, the pain of sin is too great, please stop before it is too late. Please hold me in your prayers.
Martha
Time to be honest here. Yes you did mean to hurt your husband. Maas soon as you pursued that relationship you were saying, “I want to do what I want and I
Really don’t care who it hurts.” To say this type of thing a second time is just not true. You are clearly doing what you want to do and your love (love being an act of the will) is self deception. People that commit adultery almost always say that they didn’t want to hurt anyone. Th truth is that they don’t care. When you saw that person again and felt those feelings started you could have left then but you decided not to leave. You stayed and in your heart you knew exactly what was going to happen.
Paul what you are saying is not of a Christian sorry to say the reason I’m saying this is because God gives everyone deliverance & salvation in different ways not everyone Salvation is the same for you to say you cheated cause you wanted to you we’re not there you don’t know that in this world Satans world of sin demon need flesh to do the sin God in heaven is the only one that will know if she did it unconsiuaslly or subconscious or a demon did it to her or she was tempted you sounding like your perfect I have one thing to say of Christians like you don’t judge you are not perfect this is why your here in this world to for your sins I don’t know how long you been a Christian & don’t want to know but what k do know we are all pawns in this world for Satan and God wants his children back & repent of there sins when they commit it right away May god bless you
God says let no one say when he is tempted I am tempted by God; for God cannot be tempted by evil nor does he himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then when his desire has conceived it gives birth to sin and sin when when it is full grown brings forth death.
I didnt want to hurt anyone, the man i cheated with began as a friendship, i developed feelings for this man, it started when i had marital problems, my husband hit me, but i know i have to fight for my marriage, i know i love my husband, i love my son, but most of all i love God, i will give up all desires for the love of God…..if i didnt care i would simply have an affair and act freely upon my feelings for that man, i would not worry about fighting against such evil act, its a spiritual war within me, only God knows what i truly feel, & yes i know i could have walked away, but i didnt because unfortunately im a sinner, i was spiritualy weak, but also i could have continued and let go of all my feelings but i decided to fight against myself and stop…. i pray i dont fall again, im scared to do so, i dont want to lose my family, i dont want to lose my salvation. dont wish anybody such horrible situation.
Martha I understand I just prayed for u. Yes Paul we did what was wrong and we regret it so much, the pain of sin cuts deep, and only those who hav experienced it knows the terror and torment.Yes maybe we wanted to hurt the one who hurt us, we looked for comfort in the wrong places. Yes we should have taken our pain to God, but show us some love, show us some understanding,hold us in prayer, give us some encouraging words so that we will not fall into this type of horrible sin again. look at it this way, if we did not come to a realization that we were wrong do you think we would put our story out for u all to read?. In my case I realize I had an undignosed illness which made me do the things I – BIPOLAR DISORDER. Is it a generational curseor is it witch craft, I do not know, but I wish if I was normal. I PRAY THAT IT STOPS WITH ME.
PRAY IT STOPS WITH ME MEANING THAT IT IS NOT PASSED DOWN TO ANYONE ELSE IN MY FAMILY OR MY SIBLINGS FAMILIES. Dear Lord help us.Amen
The reason you keep on going back to the persons you had an affair with is because of the soul ties that were formed. Until those ties are broken its a continued cycle. Seek deliverance and ask God to sever all ties and be set free. I mean All. Remember you caught in the soul web of all the people your adulterous partner slept with. If you struggling with temptation, call your pastor or praying friends to pray with you and RUN the opposite direction. Its unfortunate that technology has made it easy for old flames to connect. If you can’t control yourself, stay out of it.
Jeann – Thanks for your words of encoragement, everyone of us on this site which are struggling with the memories or the temptation needs all of your encouragement and prayers.May God our Father bless u.
I just looked the posting ‘ Death and Life is in the power of the tongue’ and I will read it fully later.Thank God for you Mike this website has been a blessing.
Oh my, this is hectic Sandra. Take it to the Father our Almighty Yahua (God). Unfortunately her actions will impact her children. God has given children to us as a reward and blessing and expects us to take care of them according to His will as in His Word. May Yahua our Elohim hide them under the shelter of His wings. Pray for the children, not soulish prayers but declare His Word upon the children, His Word accomplishes what He has set out to accomplish. May Yahua give you strength as grandparents and wisdom and revelation. As for your daughter, she’s caught up in a deadly game. Read Prov 1 – 5 to her. Yahua’s Word does not return to Him void and faith comes by hearing His Word. I pray that she heeds the voice of our Elohim, repent and turn to Him. She must make a choice. Choose life or Death, blessings or curses. May you have peace that surpasses all understanding knowing our Father is in control.
Why is it that i feel like there is a kurse over me
I was born and raised without a father, he abandoned my mother at 7 months pregnancy
My mother later met another man and i lived through domestic violence from as far as i remember until the age of 11
During those 11years i was molested by an uncle, moved from school to school 2-4
@Manny…… please understand, I am not judging you, for the Word says, judge ye not, that ye be judged. Athough you may not like hearing what I have to say, its not meant as judgment of you in anyway. Know this, I love you in Christ as my brother and by our Lord’s command, found in His’ Word, I’m required to do so. Be ye notified, if the spirit of adultery, which satan has cast upon you both, still remains currently active in your life (mind,body,soul,spirit), I believe through the power & wisdom of the Holy Ghost, that you need to immediately step down from your position as the acting Youth Leader/Pastor of your church. And that’s whether or not you still remain actively involved with your Pastor’s wife. I pray the Lord will continue to convict you and in return cause a great desire inside your heart, to seek complete deliverance from this satanic spell. I pray the Lord will give you the strength & courage to follow through with gaining complete & utter deliverance and I pray He will help you re-build & re-gain the LOVE & CARE you once had for your precious wife. I pray He will strengthen & comfort your wife & children and place a spirit of forgiveness in their hearts. This tragedy, which satan is proud of, can become a slap & spit upon his face, if you choose to follow the voice & path of our Lord Jesus Christ. With hard work and continual commitment from you, to lead & live a 100% Christian way of life, I believe you’ve been given the opportunity of turning this travesty into something you & your family could look back upon with a spirit of thankfulness, giving God all the Glory. That is all up to you! We do have a choice in our life of circumstances & situations. Its not all destiny. Its been said, life is a lot like a card game. You are dealt a hand of cards, but you have no decision upon or choice of what they are. But once they’re dealt out, you have the choice of picking them up and playing the best hand you possibly can. The cards have been dealt, you picked them up and you chose to play your first hand this way. But even now, after seeing your BIG mistake, the game isn’t over and you still have a lot of choices to make. Now its up to you again to choose which cards you’re going to play and whether or not you will keep making the same mistake. I pray that you and your family will become stronger, wiser, closer and that each of your heart’s will be filled with an abundance of love for each other. I plead the Blood of Jesus over this situation and each and everyone of them alike here today and in all the victory, to GOD BE ALL THE GLORY! Amen……
@Cora……… Amen! Amen! I know how you feel and I feel the same about my wife. I pray the Lord strengthens you and increases your faith, in believing that ALL things are possible through Christ Jesus. I will continue to remember you in prayer. Don’t let the doubters or those who are weak in faith, bring you down or steal your blessing. If the Lord has promised you victory, claim it in the name of Jesus! If He has promised you victory, you can take it to the bank! He will not & He can not, let you down! He has never let me down and He has always kept His promises. God bless you……
@Sandra Odom……… I’m sorry to hear about your situation and I know it must be hard. I pray for the Lord to move in a way that will reconcile your family back together. Regarding your grand-children, check with your local county chancery court and ask about your right-to-visitation as a grandparent. Most states have laws in place to help assist with these type situations. I felt to mention this to you for the possibility or opportunity, to not only gain the relationship back with your grand-children you lost, but to possibly shake & move your daughter into realizing the kind of choices she has chosen to make in her life. I hope & pray for the best and may the Lord keep & shelter those precious children in His mighty hands. God Bless You & Your Family………..
Murphy do u have a word for me?
Cheryl
I agree with what you are saying about praying for our marriages and I know God hates divorce, but when the enemy has taken a person’s mind and heart and they are fullengaged in the sin of adultery and they are not willing to yield and surrender, I believe it is time to let go and the word of God says that if a spouse chooses to end the marriage due to this sin, that God will allow it. I deeply respect your determination to keep praying for your spouse and marriage and I pray that your prayers are answered. But as for me and my house we will serve the Lord and move forward and not wait on a man who has failed and turned his back on us and God. I see no point in going on with that. If a person has made their choice to dwell in sin and not turn to God you can pray until your last breath but it ultimately is a choice and a point of acceptance and I have reached mines. Adultery erodes the ability to love, a man that doesen’t love you isn’t going to return and turn from his sin. But God won’t fail and he won’t committ adultury on me and my children. God won’t fail like man has so many times over. I pray for all who have committed this sin against their wives and husbands, may God have mercy on them and their souls for such a destructive wicked demonic sin that kills and devestates!!
@Murphy, Your wisdom and depth is such a blessing, please continue to encourage people as I can see and feel the Holy Spirit in your words. Whatever has happened in your life has truly drawn you closer and given you such profound depth in the Lord! May you continue to seek the Kingdom of God and do his Work thru encouragement and building up of God’s people in their time of distress. I thank God for adversity for it has as well grown my family up and closer to the Lord. What the enemy meant for harm, God set us up for it to be for our God. Remember your set back is your set up for your come back in the Lord. Thank you Lord that I’m not what I use to be and I’m striving & yielding to the Lord to be the woman of God he wants me to be. God won’t leave us nor forsake us. God sticks closer than a brother. I will continue to fight the good fight of Faith! I plead the Blood of Jesus over every part of my life and I trust God to do exactly what he said he would do in his word!! Thank you Lord for the Victory in you!! The enemy has no dominion and has to flee!! Trust God and EVERYTHING WILL BE MORE THAN ALRIGHT!! BLESS HIS HOLY NAME!! TO GOD BE THE GLORY IN ALL OUR LIVES!!
First off I want to thank all of you for being so open with something so personal as what this kind of sin causes, I am the victim of a spouse whom has commited adultry and refuses to repent, My husband was deported and it was devistating to me but I chose to move to mexico with him to be at his side, I have been married with him for 9yrs and I was the beliver and he was just someone whom said he believed in God, I watched him get babtized in jesus name may 2nd of 2011 and then maybe a few months after he changed on me, completely, later after much prayer I found the strength to confront him and he denied any of what I was feeling to only later admit he had found a friend, well this ended up being his adultress, and let me tell you the pain and agony I have felt and still feel is much worse than anything I have ever experienced in my life, He chose to slaughter me as the wife spiritually stating in his mind I am not his wife and put this woman on a pedistool, I reached out to many sisters in the Lord. I watched my husband change not only in appearance but the actual person was a stranger to me, I stayed 3 months watching him treat me as I was the other woman,, and believe me every night I was on my knees praying, I fasted and prayed like never before, I finally left jan 19th because I felt I was being slaughtered daily, he had no remorse and actually bragged about it to me, he completely erased me and everything that had to do with me, to my face. I heard everything from this woman being someone whom let him be him, to she was fun, to shes just a friend. I never felt so alone in my life, so much pain, so much hurt, and so much confusion as I have these past 4 months, he moved in with this other woman, claims that shes possibly pregnant and states he is doing nothing wrong because in his mind im not his wife. I have no words to explain what this has done to me only that everything the bible says about adultry is true, I praise god for the ones whom have commited this sin and have repented, and for those struggling and are being tempted please turn away, run and don’t look back because honestly if it had not been for gods hand, I would have died from the spiritual murder this sin causes. I still pray for my Husband because I know the man he was and saw the man he became, I pleaded with him many times on the pain adultry causes and how god hates divorce and to repent, but he was so trapped by the sin I no longer existed to him. I want all of you to know that last week I recieved a call from him, im now back in the U.S., and he let me know that he was in an accident with a gas tank exploding and burned half his face and arms, It hurt me deeply, but he also wanted to let me know he will not stop his sin, and that he will continue to be with this woman and later the adultress sent me a picture of her with my husband and the comments hahahahahaha, I spiritually have been beat up over and over and I still pray for my husband and I ask for all you to pray for me as well. My heart goes out completely to all of you whom have dealt first hand with the pain this sin causes, and I Thank all of you whom truly realize how vicious it is and have repented.
I am sorry for what you have gone through. I understand completely about him suddenly being a totally different person. At first I didn’t understand, but I looked into my ex husband’s eyes and though his eyes were blue, I saw only darkness. He wasn’t there anymore. After 7 years of struggling with depression and dealing with other losses in my life (the loss of both my parents), I finally came to the point to let go and let God. I could continue to pray for him, but in doing so, it’s only keeping me from moving on with my life. I’ve neglected my own happiness and have focused too long on the pain over a man that has been overtaken by his own fleshly desires. I finally said goodbye. Don’t get me wrong, I wish him well, but as he once told me, it’s between him and God. I can only pray the Lord has mercy on him (for it is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God…). There is no fear of God, because Christians believe in the once saved always saved teaching. But if Angels fell from grace, are we truly immune from the same judgement? That’s not a question I would want to test its truthfulness. Most of us commit sins in ignorance, but I pray that I never commit a willful sin against my Lord and Saviour, who shed His blood for me.
People see what the want to see in scripture. God removes the veil and places it back on those that turn from Him. The Word is conveniently changed in order to justify ones actions. But unlike man’s law, there are no loopholes in God’s law.
Only God can remove the veil. He has mercy on whom He has mercy…
I no longer care to know if my husband has benefitted from his decision to commit adultery or not. I don’t care to know his whereabouts or even think of how he’s doing. My focus is now on my own well being. Divorce brings on a lot of emotional pain, especially when there is no closure. And it’s time, I started praying for my healing and stopped concentrating on the people that caused it.
I pray for you as well, and hope you find peace in Christ to move on and continue in His love.
God Bless.
@Huntherdan, I am so extremely sorry for the pain and tears you are going through, If you don’t mind I really wanted to comment on your post. Each of us are able of knowing right and wrong, We cannot put blame on anybody else for choosing to make choices that we know are wrong. A Marriage is not a game or something to pass the time, its sacred, If you received an email stating you were to blame for his adultery, then its only him trying to make himself feel better about the ugly sin he is involved in. If you had been the worst wife in the world according to him, he had the choice to be a man and talk with you and figure out how to work together on fixing something that is so important, Please never take the blame for his adultery, if you had problems like all marriages do, you can take the blame for your part and he needs to take the blame for his part, but Adultery is each individuals choice, we have free will. I pray that you are comforted from head to toe in every area in your life, and I pray that the lord guides you and all that you do. God Bless you Always
hey guys loved the article. i had an 8 month affair against my wonderful wife 6 years ago. Until Christmas 2011 I had kept it a secret for fear of losing her. In 2009 we had our daughter and she is the light of our lives and that caused me to bury my dark secret even deeper. During the last holidays I became so infected with conviction that I was becoming physically ill. I finally gave up fighting God and told her everything, to my suprise she stayed around saying she loved me. No understand before I had the affair I had cheated orally with girls while we were dating in college twice and then when we got married with the one. We had only been with one another and now I can no longer say that and it has destroyed her. Since confessing to her and God we have started going back to church and have both given our lives back to Christ. Yet, we have grown so much closer spiritually she still is going through moments of deep depression and hatred toward me. One minute she loves me and the next she tells me that I disgust her and she cant even look at me. I dont know what to do. I mean I feel christ has forgiven me and that life is behind me and I have not as much as thought about cheating for 6 years. I will never again, but it is all so fresh to her that i feel like i am just running in circles. I just feel so lost, and now I am feeling as if god is wanting me to help others through his love, but how can I when I cant even help my wife. I lover her with my whole heart and am ready to spend eternity with her thanks to Christs blood. But we have trouble reading the bible because of all the adultery verses, and she thinks I am getting off to easy because of christ sacrifice. I am just so confused, any advice and especially prayers would be appreciated.
My husband who was supposed to be a christian has also been unfaithful repeatedly over the last 6 years accordng to Matthew 5:28. I forgave him, moved forward, forgave and we worked at moving forward again and again. I finally asked the LORD what HE had to say about it and the Holy Spirit said let him go. This was confirmed one night at a church where a prophetess who I didn’t even know spoke somethings to me that couldn’t nobody but the LORD have revealed to her. One of the things she said was you’re going to have to let somethings go. Not to mention my aunt who is a minister had already told me about 2 years prior that she beleived the LORD had someone better for me. When I began to prepare my heart to leave, since he didn’t want to move out GOD made provision for me that I would not have otherwise been able to obtain such as money for a place, being approved for the new place and income to be able to meet my expenses without my husband so I left. Now that I’m gone it seems like my husband is trying to get his stuff together but after 6 years of deceit and this rollercoaster I’m not convinced just yet. To tell the truth I’m just watching, praying for GOD to continue to expose him and waiting over the next 6 months to 1 year to see what happens, whether he will straighten up and we can have a fresh start if I even care for him at that point or until he is exposed again so I can forgive him but cut him off for good and allow GOD to bring a real child of GOD into my life that will love me as Christ loved the church and he knows it. If more women would seek counsel from GOD and only stay when HE tells them to and leave when HE tells them to they would find themselves in a much happier place. After all how many times does the cheater really stop cheating and don’t alot of these cheaters end up leaving the faithful party for someone else anyway? As Cheryl stated they will stop when they are ready. Obviously their flesh, not their wives is what they love so why keep praying, fasting and waiting for GOD to change someone who knows exactly what they are doing and loves every minute of it? Aren’t they getting their cake and eating it to? Doesn’t sound like a spiritual attack to me. Where is the scripture that says the Devil attacked them and made them do it? Just like it felt good when they’re in a position of one flesh with you it also feels good to the cheater when he or she is in a position of one flesh with someone else. Don’t you know the scripture in 1 Corinthians 7:15-17 that states 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? (If they leave let them go, move on, you’re not bound, be happy and if the LORD sends someone else your way pray and fast for GOD’s direction and if the Holy Spirit lets you know this is the one then why not be happy).
@Justin, I read your post and I wanted to tell you that If you truly repented and turned away from that sin whole heartedly, Praise God, I don’t know what it’s like being on your end, only on the receiving end. I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone, but I think it’s important to understand how deeply you hurt her, you basically killed her, emotionally, spiritually and unless you let her clear out all that garbage without making any excuses for what you did, she will not fully let it go, Listen to her, understand that all that hurt and dissapointment she feels is valid and be there to help her get through it, Please don’t feel in any way that I am judging you at all, I am only able to express what I would want, from my husband whom caused me the same pain. If you Love your wife then don’t take it personal, but accept her for what she feels, if you were to say it’s the past, or have an attitude like get over it already, than that’s truly not accepting how serious the sin you caused against her was, just hear her out and be strong and know that you not trying to defend or make the sin any less than what it truly was will show her some comfort,then with prayer and the Lords help she will get through it, because the same man that caused her so much grief is actually putting an effort and accepting some of the pain by allowing her to release all that garbage that has been stored up from the betrayel. This is only my opinion and I truly do hope and pray for your marriage, because if you are both willing to make it work, than give it your all, and don’t give up. Eventually the garbage will be all out and than the love can grow again, I pray the Lord Blesses your marriage, and you never fall into temptation of an adultress again in Jesus Name. I will pray for your marriage and for you to have wisdom on how to deal with this situation, don’t be discouraged if you don’t see results right away, keep your faith and speak life over your situation and your wife and Love her by understanding and listening and when she says things that hurt don’t hold on to it, release it to God and I know things will get better.
Very good advice from Sofia for Justin. There are consequences to our sins even when we are repentant and have been forgiven by the Lord. You are going to have to be patient with your wife and keep on loving her and praying for her for as long as it takes. She has been very hurt and it all takes a lot of time to recover trust again.
The Bible teaches us about how all of our souls thirst everyone has a hole in there soul and GOD wants all of us to fill that hole with him and his love that is what God dsires but there are times in our lives that we feel empty and in pain it could be from a broken marriage or a troubled childhood when your spouse commits adultery against you it rips your soul apart and sometimes instead of allowing God to fill that emptiness we try to fill that void with other things and alot of times those other things are sinfull things we want to grab anything that we think might stop the pain the problem is it may lesson the pain for a short time but those sinfull choices only make matters worse and furthering the distantce we have with God who is really the only one who can truly heal us. So when we are hurting and feel empty we have the choice to fill our selves with Godly and good desires or fill ourselves with sinfull desires unfortunatly our flesh wins out over our spirit alot of the time it isnt easy to walk in the spirit instead of the flesh like the Lord tells us to do so with all of this we can see why we make some of the choices that we make … God Bless
if the adulterers confess and admitted their sins..but did not go back to restore their marriage instead move on with their new affair, still abandon the wife and children leaving them with hurts and hopelessness, does it mean God has approved and forgive this pair of adulterer?
Dear May their is one very important thing missing with the confession that is repentence the meaning of repentence is to turn away from sin it is like saying I know I did wrong but I am going to do it anyway so confession without repentence their cant be forgiveness because they are in continued sin of adultery unless they truly repent hope this helps
I would like to add the importance of knowing the Word of God. The Bible says we are free to remarry if our spouse dies. Yes, if your spouse has commited adultery and your heart has become hardened you are free to divorce. But it also says God HATES divorce and that it was not this way in the beginning. No where in the Bible does it say that God will give you someone else because you were unhappy because your spouse did not do right. It does say that if you are married to a nonbeliever and they leave you are not bound to those circumstances. What it doesnt say is that you are free to marry someone else. This is not God and we are not supposed to operate the way the world does as believers. Remember your vows “for better or for worse”? The better always feels good, but what about the worse? The worse doesnt feel good at all, but will you obey God during the worse? yes you will look like a fool to the world but God honors obedience & will carry you through anything you cant deal with. The problem is when our life is full of turmoil we are so consumed with our mess that we cant hear God and sometimes we dont want to hear Him. God has the final say in all that we face in this life.I want to encourage you all to study God’s Word and work on obeying the Word because at the end of the day nothing else matters. Yes, your spouse may have cheated or left you and your children and it hurts really bad. Our responsibility is to pray for them while in darkness and allow God to do the rest. Vengence is God’s and only His, not ours. yes we want them to hurt the way we hurt, but the Bible says we must forgive to be forgiven. If you dont have peace in the midst of the mess then you have not TRULY forgiven your spouse. This is so much deeper than us and our emotional cup. Yes God cares about our feelings but there is something He wants us to gain from our storms. Will you stand and obey the Word or will you continue to consume yourself with the past that you cant change? We are in the last days and there is no time to pick in choose what scriptures we will obey because in the end we will all be judged. Please take the time to study marriage and divorce and ask God for His wisdom and how He ordained marriage & hates divorce. I am not speaking on anything I havent been through and I am still going through myself. I battled with it for sometime and almost lost my mind in the process, until God took me to the root of the problem, which was disobedience. I married him knowing he wasnt ready for marriage and have been paying the price for it every since. I used to be really be angry hurt and bitter toward him. Thanks be to God, the last thing on my mind is divorcing him to be with someone else. In fact I dont even want another man, I still love my husband and I pray for him daily & believe me when I say he has done plenty. I knew I had to forgive him. The Lord is still healing me of my hurt & He has me in a place of acceptance. I have accepted my wrong in all this and this has taken my focus off of pointing the finger at him. When we focus on their wrong it takes our focus off of our wrong and we become the victim. We must be true to ourselves and stay focused on God. I know this is not a feel good message but as believers WE MUST OBEY GOD!!!! If someone prophecied to you that God has a better man for you, while you are still married or have filed for a divorce THAT IS NOT GOD!!!! God doesnt contradict Himself. Ladies its not about leaving a man and replacing him for a new one, this is what the world does. Please study the Word because tomorrow is not promised to any of us. If he left you for another woman, allow God to fill that void. God is my sustainer, He is my everything!
Completely biblical advice from Cheryl – lovely to read it from someone who really knows the truth from the Word. ‘If ye love me obey my commandments’.
@Cheryl
Amen! Amen! I agree, with your interpretation of scripture & the advise you’ve given to May. However, I’d like to add to that, if I may…. Gentleman, its not about leaving a woman, (your wife/spouse) and replacing her with a new one. We all know it works & goes “both” ways. The sin of adultery knows both male & female and the pain & suffering associated with it, is felt on both sides of the fence. I know from my own situation and suffering, that most males have a hard time expressing their feelings. Although we seem to have a harder time, with openly discussing our experiences & pain, I have found we are equally effected and we experience the same amount of pain. Yes Cheryl, that is what the world usually does, is separate and look for another. I can’t say, in every situation we should stay, but I know there’s many that should. We should at least give God time to work and seek His will for our life. W e should at least try to weather the storm and allow God to strengthen us by going through it. Obedience, is right on! I would suggest reading & meditating on the book of Hosea. Allow God, to speak to your heart and direct your path. Not my will, but thy will Lord, be done! God bless you all and I pray the Lord will comfort & strengthen those who’ve been victimized by this deadly sin. Amen…..
Praise be to the Lord our God Jesus Christ. Adultery is when you became unfaithful to your spouce in whatever manner or ways you can call it.
Adultery breeds in the flesh (body)it is there since we are conceived from the womb because of the sin of Adam in the garden of eden.
You need to find a way to cut this curse off from you. We can not save ourselves and the only cure is to repent from our sins be baptised in the name of Jesus Christ as in the book of Acts 2:38 so your sins is forgiven and received the gift of the Holy Spirit.
This is the way which Jesus mentioned in the New teatament…”Iam the Way..Truth and the Life” Once you received the Gift of the Holy Spirit you have to walk in the Spirit of God daily and keep on keeping on until Jesus Returns.
We must walk in the Holy Spirit daily and with that we will be able to endure, perservere and remain holy always.
Jesus loves us as in John 3:16. May God bless you.
I know Father wants us to love one another and love HIM with all of our hearts,minds,and souls.with this in mind,I am hoping to get some guidance,prayer,and peace. I am in my second marriage whom I married two times; he had left me for another woman and I remarried him. At that time,I believe the Holy Spirit told me not to take him back ,but I disobeyed and remarried him within a couple of months. Pastors and sisters and brothers in Christ told me that God could forgive me for what I’ve done,both the adultery,but somehow it always seem to come up in me that it was wrong,and I would attempt to discuss it with my husband. I had gotten to a place where I no longer could be intimate with him as a wife,but recently I felt a need to leave. Because this has been an ongoing issue,my present husband gets so angry with me that he scares me. He told me that we’ve been through this too many times,and that a pastor married us,and that I’ve gone too far with this. I sent him scriptures which I believe supports our marriage being one of adultery,but he has exploded again. He also has a very severe heart issue,but I really have not intentionally set out to upset him. Yesterday,I discussed with him my concerns,and he was very receptive and calm,but as soon as I sent him an email with the info from this site and another site that supports the scripture about the adultery,he flew off,and even threatened me.
I do not want to harm him in any way,but I love the Lord. I know Father doesn’t want us to harm anyone,but I am concerned very much for his welfare.
This is only a brief summarization of many concerns.
Please, help me. Pray for me ,for my husband,jeff. This is more than I can bare. I stand in the shelter of Father.My trust is in the Lord.
@ Peggy,
I’m a little confused… Are you currently married to your first husband, that had left you for another woman, but afterwards he came back and you remarried him, although you felt it was not the Lord’s will for you to do so? If that is correct, are you now feeling as if, you’re committing adultery with him because you remarried him, when you felt it was against the Lord’s will?
@ John,
Amen!! Amen!! Then Peter said unto them, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the NAME of JESUS CHRIST, for the remission of your sins and ye SHALL receive the gift of the Holy Ghost!” I’m thankful and proud, to be chosen by Him! I’m glad to know, who HE really is and what HIS name is! He is, the Father! He is, the Son! He is, the Holy Ghost! He is, JESUS CHRIST! Hear ye Israel, the Lord our God, is ONE! HALLELUJAH! Praise be to JESUS! Amen!! Amen!!
This has to be one of most solid articles that I’ve read regarding the sin of adultery. The message presents a clear warning for the dangers of this specific sin, but the approach is one of Godly compassion. From the emotional responses, it also seems to deliver on its promise to be very sensitive to the Body of Christ. @justin and @sheila: Sofia’s counsel is very much on-target. I’ve been on the receiving end of this betrayal as well. And I came close to being utterly destroyed when I tried to repair the damage on my own power. Forgiveness is there for the asking, but from His writings, it takes more than confession. It takes true and actual repentance. @justin : I pray that you continue to be patient as your wife deals with the painful healing process. @sheila: I pray that you summon the strength to repent from a sin that you acknowledge is destructive. It is very understandable to claim unhappiness is the root of the transgression. But also remember, the marriage that “needed to be ‘flushed’” was ordained by God Himself. As the author so clearly points-out, the sin of adultery runs deeper than the betrayal to your husband. It runs into your relationship with God Himself. There are many examples of how God has used our shortcomings to teach and mold us. But He is also not in the business of blessing sin. So, just as Jesus + nothing = Everything, I also believe that confession without repentance does not equal forgiveness. Please, please find the strength to repent if you are still engaged in an adulterous relationship. I’m not sure how the bible addresses this specific issue, but even if you have divorced your husband, I can’t believe it is favorable to continue in a relationship that started while you were married.
No,Murphy-I apologize as I was rushed when I wrote to you. There are so many things going on in my life that I find it difficult to even explain things. I actually divorced my first husband. I was unfaithful to him; I need not try to even justify it,since there is no excuse. I then remarried and my second husband left me,got involved with another woman. I am also sick with a pain condition that makes it difficult for me to function many times throughout the day.My husband was tired of my illness and my lack of being a wife and was involved with another woman. He divorced me. Later that year,he and his girlfriend broke up,and I remarried him. I do believe that back then I used to hear the voice of the Lord,and I heard for me not to take him back,and I did. I have been both disobedient and am an adulterer. I have tried to talk to my husband about this since soon after we remarried,but he gets very angry with me.I have consulted others who say that our God forgives all sins,but in my Spirit I felt that it was so wrong,especially this 2nd marriage to my 2nd husband. My husband went to a pastor and convinced my husband that God forgives us of all of our sins. I have read the passages,and I now believe that Father details that this is unacceptable. I am not a well person,but I will do whatever I need to do. I have been hoping to hear Father’s voice again,so I would know which way to go,where to go and heed to HIM. I also fear that I have lost my salvation,but I don’t want to believe this.
I hope I made myself a bit clearer this entry.
Thank you so much for your guidance
Jesus Bless you and all of you here,
What I heard today was , “seek ye the kingdom of god, and all will be added unto thee”. So for ME what I got… As the adulterous in bondage ( being turned over to a depraved mind … See Romans ) is that I NEED to stop trying to figure this out . Stop. Stop asking questions and dig into the word. Faith come by hearing hearing the word of God. Simple. Give my burdens over. HE will work this out. Davis has been on my mind…. He repented. There is forgiveness even though I believe I am the worst of the worst. I/we can make the decision….. To make God our first love. Just stop!! That’s where I am at. I’m not well…. But I want to believe . And I know, and have seen, experienced, and felt Gods power. God can restore what the locate have eaten. The bible is for the sick, not the well. So here I am daddy, I can do this, I love you and Im sorry.
Murphy,
I would like to clarify a few other things. I believe that I should never have married my second husband. I met him a number of years after I was divorced.I want to make it clear that I believe that both marriages to my 2nd husband were wrong. Now,I see that and have felt convicted of it several times over the last few years,but I’m almost always convinced by others (pastors, brothers and sisters in Christ,as well). One pastor told me that hurting my husband by divorcing him would be a bigger sin in God’s eyes. I believe the Holy Spirit continues to convict my heart,as again,I keep coming back to this place,and now I am on this board. I also became ill within one year of being married to my present husband. I do believe that I need to leave this marriage,but this is going to devastate my husband,and he takes it as if I’m rejecting him. He is going into the hospital Thursday for open heart surgery. This is such a difficult time. I am retired but also disabled. I have very little money to make a move,and my husband will need help after he gets out of the hospital; I have so many concerns and questions. I pray for Father to give me wisdom in all of this.My husband is so angry and thinks this is all against him,that I don’t want him. I sent him scripture about what Jesus said,but he refuses to look at it. He can get very angry,and it is frightening to me.
Thank you for being here in my time of need
Hi Jessica,
I only read your one post,but I wanted to let you know that God will make a way for you. I have already seen that,but I have held back,but I also know my hope is still in the Lord. I look to the mountains for my help,where does my help come from? it comes from the LORD,JESUS.
He will make a way when there is no way……
Jesus Bless you
There was a time when I actually believed everything that scripture said, not anymore, its been 6 months since I separated from my Husband because he was with another woman, 6 months of agony, some good days and some bad, hearing everybody and their opinion of what I should do, well not only am I the one caring the hurt, the betrayel, but also the one whom he took everything I had and gave it to her, whom by the way nicely told me you had your time, now its my time with him and repeatedly told me he does not love you. Well I was able to at the time stand on Gods word that Adultery is a serious crime and that knowing your in the middle of a marriage brings nothing good and that whether she believed in God or not his laws still applied, according to her she didn’t believe in the Bible, but just positive energy. well today I spoke with him and of course she answered the phone, and he was happy as can be, they both laughed and I told him its been 6 months and he giggled and said what do you want, he asked me for an address and let me know he was going to have the papers mailed for me to sign all while he repeated every word to her and let me know my pets were now hers. I broke down and asked him me giving you those years of my life should at least gain the respect to have my pets and he said no, at least an apology for all the pain he has caused and again he said no… so therefore all my prayers, all my beliefs and all that I claimed has been false, it is proven that I stood on words that were just words, because I was faithful during the marriage and even during this separation and still I get pain again, and the pain hurts just as much as it did the first time, and hes with another woman, while still married to me, he is happy and she has all my things, therefore I have lost all my beliefs on justice, or that Adultery is even as bad as I was taught to believe it is, so when the papers come i will sign them, but my beliefs will definately never be the same.
@ Sofia
The message you have posted really saddens me. I want to first advise you that i have been in your shoes regarding my marriage. I want to caution you on the fact that because of a choice your husband has made you habe chosen to no longer believe God’s Word. You cant allow your emotional state to take over. This is right where satan wants you while God wants you to trust
him tegarding the outcome. God gives each of us a choice and
your husband has made his and will be dfdealt with for it
@ Sofia
I am so sorry to hear about all those horrible things your husband did to you I know your Pain my now ex-wife did something very simualar to me and i can say their isnt very many things that hurt as much as that did by reading your post it sounds like you may be blaming God for what your husband did gods word will always stand true God gives us all free will we are either conforming to our own evil desires or we are being formed to the likeness of our Holy God when a person decides to sin that is their choice and their free will it breaks Gods heart just as much as it does yours God allowed Hitler and his Natzis to murder millions of Jewish people and he didnt stop that why he allows things to happen only he knows but we have to believe it is all for his purpose for he is sovereign and holy I wish he would of stopped my wife in her tracks while she was committing adultery but then he would be taking her freedom of choice away from her and that is one thing God doesnt do just like our faith we choose to beleive in Christ or we choose not to either way we have made a choice just remember this one scripture Hebrews:9:27(It is appointed to man once to die after this come his judgement) we get impatient and want God to judge people right now for the hurt they cause us be glad God is mercyfull or we all would have judgment coming to us … God Bless
well, i’ve been together with my wife 22 yrs. married 20 yrs. and she has committed adultery on my several times.this past recent four months has been the worst.now she is with this loser.ive claimed scripture over and over again.now we are not perfect,and ive made my mistakes but ive also asked for forgiveness as also i have forgiven her.so where does god’s word return not void? ive been struggling with this for a while now.wanting to believe and stand on his word cause deep down i know he’s true. his word is alive,and powerful and sharper than any two edged sword.piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit,and joints and marrow. just last night i started doubting gods power, but i repented. i prayed for my wife all of the time.now she is with this jehova witness who claims to know the word, but obviously doesnt care about it either. my children are sticking to gods word that there mother is coming back. i want to believe it too, but it doesnt seem like it anymore. now when i see her, she just sickens me to my stomach.she disgusts me,i cant even look at her let alone talk to her. what i miss is my wife, not this woman who looks like my wife. its hard to move on. people have told me, its gonna get better, i was given word that all is going to be restored, but my wife remains gone. she has no shame in her sin, parading her hickies around our children. Does God exist? i believe so. why does he allow this to happen is beyond me. i can only hope for the best, cuz i know this battle is not over…….it’s just beginning for me…….
Not sure if anyone will ever read this but I sure could use some words of wisdom. I cheated on my wife and I have had this feeling in my stomach ever since…. I think about it constantly and feel horrible. I consider myself a christian but honestly I don’t go to church or read the bible, although I talk to God now and then and I no I love God and I want to go to heaven with my wife and children one day. I no what I did was HORRIBLE and I couldnt feel any worse than I do at this point, I was even considering ending my life to make the pain go away. I wish it was all a dream and I wish I could take it back. I was crying like a little girl earlier begging god to not let her find out and for him to forgive me. We have children together and if she finds out she will divorce me, there is no question about it. I don’t want to lose her, I love her with all my heart and then some. I was drinking and it happened for maybe 1-2 minutes and then we stopped, we did not finish the act but I still started…… I would never do such a thing sober and I dont even want to drink ever again due to what happened. I just feel so horrible I don’t know what to do. If I tell her it’s just going to hurt her and the children, not to mention she is kind of close with the girl it happened with. Any advice would be appreciated. And yes I no that I am a piece of crap for what I did so please don’t rub it in. After reading the article above I see that I am now going to go to hell with no chance of ever getting into heaven. I promised God this would never happen again and I mean it, I will never make this mistake again. I love her and our children so much…. I am lost right now and honestly death seems like a better option than anything else. I am not going to end my life due to this, I am just so unsure of everything I honestly don’t know what to do. Confessing to her will cause pain and the children and her don’t deserve that I almost feel like I should take it to my grave with me. I don’t want to hurt them but I already have and they don’t know it….. I don’t have anyone to speak to about it, I stopped talking to all my friends and I’m just depressed now. Please don’t just try to make me feel better with nice words, I would like the honest truth of whatever you feel the need to say to me. I no what I did was wrong and have asked God to forgive me many times already but I don’t think ke has. I always said I would never cheat on my wife when I got married and then one stupid night runined that, it’s my fault and now I trult believe that alcohol is the devil. The worst thing is that I really didn’t mean for this to happen, it was a drunken night but that will never happen again I am done getting drunk. Please help
Jim, if you are truly repentant, God forgives. It is important to get into His Word and start PROVING your love for God. Words are cheap, actions speak louder than words. Same for your wife. You also should start going to church and get involved with accountability partners, a group of men whom you can talk to and be encouraged in doing the RIGHT thing. Truth is ALWAYS the right thing. However, there is a right time for everything. You said that it was the drinking. It may have pushed you over the edge but it is something that goes much deeper within you than the alcohol. So you also need to get into your own personal counseling to figure out the root cause. Maybe, once you can deal with THAT and you become stronger and are working on your marriage also, that your wife will be at a place where she can see for herself all the effort you are making to want to keep the marriage going. That will prove your love for her more than anything, especially empty words.
@Jim
My prayers are with you and your family during this tougb time. I believe that the reason u have no peace is because u are still hiding what u have done from ur wife. As a Christian you must confess this sin to God first and then your wife. Yes it is going to hurt but it s the right thing to do and the bible says the truth is what sets uu free. You have to stop having this pity party and deal with this. I dont eant to sound harsh but i have to be honest with you. As for your relationship with God i want t to encourage you to really get to know Him and His Word. I am praying that a true man of God will speak to you Nd give you sound advice about this situation. Suicide is not an option when u say u are a believer, it s a cop out. It will also effect your family in a bad way. Honesty and repentance is the answer. Truzt God to see u through this. It may be tough as we do reap what we sow but doing whats right is the right way to go. GOD BLESS YOU AND BE ENCOURAGED JIM.
I agree with you Cheryl. Keeping it from his wife is NOT wise. God talks about the secrets we keep and how Satan lives to use them against us. I think he needs to get into counseling with her and work through what happened. YES, it may take some very hard work for his wife to be able to trust him, but if he NEVER tells her, he will not be totally free to be who he needs to be in Christ and if his wife ever finds out apart from him, it could destroy any possibility they may have had prior. He will have to PROOVE himself trustworthy, bending over backwards but HE was the one who did wrong not her. Blessings.
Dear Jim (posted January 8, 2013)
I disagree with anyone telling you to confess to you wife. Confessing yo the Lord your God is sufficient. You are obviously truly sorry and that is what God requires to forgive. You obviously have turned away from the sin, will never do it again, and that is what is required as well. Telling your spouse may result in her never trusting you again, resentment and divorce. Imagine what this one mistake you made for 2 minutes would do to your children’s lives forever? The devil is the great accuser and loves the fact that you are agonizing in guilt 24/7 over this and would love nothing more than to see your family torn apart over this. Don’t let it happen. Read this which explains in much greater detail the harm it can do to your family to confess to them as well as why God’s forgiveness is sufficient for you:
http://www.bible-teaching-about.com/adultery.html
Then I also recommend you read “The Strategy of Satan” by Warren Wiersbe and you will learn in Chapter 4 how to let go of your guilt. By the way, go back and reread this article here. You are not denied heaven if you confess your sin to God, are truly sorry and will never do it again. This is the “good news” of Jesus- we are forgiven of these sins as he has interceded for us. Our God is a loving father, slow to anger and merciful. Now go tell your wife how much you love her, treat her like a queen, be a great father, do something special with your family. That is how you defeat Satan and your sin. God’s grace can take something terrible like adultery and turn it into a positive by making your family stronger. Pray for the Holy Spirit’s guidance. God bless!
Amen in the name of JESUS !!!! You are right Jim you will be forgiven repent to your sin you don’t have to tell your wife just our Hevenly Father Jesus is our saviour
@ Rachel Please read your Bible before making fleshly comments and tying in scripture with it. Be careful what you say bacause you don’t want to cause someone to fall.
rey says:
November 25, 2012 at 3:29 pm.
well, i’ve been together with my wife 22 yrs. married 20 yrs. and she has committed adultery on my several times.this past recent four months has been the worst.now she is with this loser.ive claimed scripture over and over again.now we are not perfect, and ive made my mistakes but ive also asked for forgiveness as also I have forgiven her.so where does god’s word return not void? ive been struggling with this for a while now.wanting to believe and stand on his word cause deep down I know he’s true. his word is alive, and powerful and sharper than any two edged sword.piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, and joints and marrow. just last night I started doubting gods power, but I repented. I prayed for my wife all of the time.now she is with this jehova witness who claims to know the word, but obviously doesn't care about it either. my children are sticking to gods word that there mother is coming back. I want to believe it too, but it doesn't seem like it anymore. now when I see her, she just sickens me to my stomach.she disgusts me, i cant even look at her let alone talk to her. what I miss is my wife, not this woman who looks like my wife. its hard to move on. people have told me, its going to get better, I was given word that all is going to be restored, but my wife remains gone. she has no shame in her sin, parading her hickies around our children. Does God exist? I believe so. why does he allow this to happen is beyond me. I can only hope for the best, cuz I know this battle is not over…….it’s just beginning for me…….
Rey,
First of all I want to say how truly sorry I am that this had to happen. 20 Years of marriage is a long time. I want to ask you what was her family background like? Think about it. Did her mother or father commit this kind of sin? It is possible since she is commiting it. This possibly is a family curse. What she's doing is something beyond her control. What you can do is forgive her like you said you did, but you still harbor anger, resentment and a broken heart. You need to acknowledge those things. Fast even if it's for 3 days. Take some of that time out for yourself. You need to earnestly seek G-d and during those times you need to know you have the authority and by the blood of Jesus to bind up those evil spirits and loose healing. Ask G-d to pour out love instead of anger, peace instead of resentment, compassion, the oil of joy and kindness. In the bible it states,"If anyone claims, "I am living in the light," but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness."—1 John 2:9. When you truly let her go and give her to G-d and move on with your life. In the torah you must seek to do kindnesses. We live in a broken world so when we do kindnesses to others it breaks the hold that others have over us. You can be that good example for your children. Because the sin your wife committed is passed onto your children unless you break the curse. Adultery is another spirit that needs to be broken as well. You need to seek spiritual counseling with your pastor as well so he can help you. You need a good, solid, Christian friend to hold you accountable for your actions. When your Christian brothers and sisters are there for you it can put a better perspective on things.
Talking bad about the guy she is with only shows your children how to act in situations when they've been wronged. Your children mimick everything you and your wife do. So what they learn from watching is what they do. What you tell them to do they won't do because if your sinning and telling them to do right it doesn't mix. If you need anymore help then I suggest 2 things to look into. 1st of all is I found a good solid online ministry that G-d has lead me to. I learned more about the bible in 3 months than when I went to church.
G-d loves you. He is for you. He is always with you, Rey. I have sent Kim and Alberto a prayer request in the comment section before. I want to say that the very next day my life changed. Where my heart had been broken for so long the very next day out of nowhere I just started laughing. I felt this intense love in my heart. I was so full I couldn't contain that love. It made me weep. I am so in love with G-d now more than ever. I serve Him and worship Him. He is my first love. Never leave your fisrt love. He is a very jealous G-d. Where man will fail you G-d never will. He loves you with an everlasting love. If you commit adultery with G-d by not keeping Him first in your life then everything will fall apart. Put G-d first and all things will fall into place. My life is awesome! <3 I love you, my brother, keep your eyes focused on your First Love and your children will do the same thing. 🙂 <3 Shalom.
I wanted to comment to tunde, Hi, I started off with this site because of the pain of what has been going on with my marriage, I would never ever wish that pain on anybody, but it’s that pain that has caused me to grow as an individual. I never wanted to grow I was forced. I would like to give my opinion on what your comment states, and please know it’s just my opinion. If you fell, it’s ok, you don’t have to think that because you fell it is over. If you forgive yourself in my opinion is the first step. If you made an error, because that is what sin means, to miss the mark. It’s ok, we are human and born to error, sometimes our best is others worst, but the point im trying to make is, Learn to love yourself first, when we do than that will help any of us to become a stronger person and than when what could be temptation comes across our paths we will recognize it. If you feel guilty for the error you made, let it go and know there is not one single perfect person in this world. If it hurts, than recognize that is not something that feels good to you and it will help you to be aware of what repeating this error would feel like. I love the Lord with all my heart, and have felt angry with him in so many ways because I didn’t understand if he loved me how he could allow the grief of what happened in my marriage to occur, however I am aware now that the anger was not directed in the right place, free will means we all have choices and it’s not his fault if we choose something that hurts others. If you learn to not allow judgements to hinder Gods love towards his children, than you will realize that he is so Grand and Loving and if you ask him to forgive you and lead you, he will. Others will judge you but I think you judge yourself much harder than you should. Love yourself, forgive yourself, think about the choices you will make in the future and keep pressing forward, no matter how horrible of a mistake, error, ect.. you have made, as long as you have life you can try again.
I’ve been married for just 5 months now and my husband is being very unfaithful. but I leave it to god and his judgement that he will give, nothing works better than prayer. for the wages of sin is death but the gift of god is eternal life. Everyday I ask god to forgive him for he knows not what he is doing. keeping faith in god that by his will and by his grace to help me to make the right decisions.
My husband and been married 9 years. In February 2014 he said that he was going to spend time with his mother and sister. He came back and told me 3 days later that he wanted a break from each other because we fight allot. The man I was talking to me wasn’t my husband. So he left back to California. He started marriage counseling in LA. He recently he came back to talk to me and I had a feeling that he was talking or seeing someone. So he told me that he had an affair. I felt like I died when he told me that. This woman is recently separated too with small children. She told her husband too. Her husband is verbally abusive with her. My husband met her children already. A bunch of things been happening to my husband since he left. His SUV engine blew outside LA, he’s tires needed to be replace, he told me about this affair and recently he has been laid off from his job. I call this KARMA. We spoke on the phone and we spoke deeply how much I love and adore him . He started crying he said what have I done! Now he is having second thought about to make this work. The problem he still has contact with this woman. He hasn’t seen her but still talk to her. I don’t know what to do. I prayed and asked The Lord please provide me a sign to save my marriage. A couple of days ago I was getting ready for work. I saw a tape. I picked it up and it was a video of our wedding with our name on it. Soon our anniversary on April 23rd we will be married 9 years. Please help me save my marriage
I have been reading here today as I have a friend who has fallen into this area a few times. I am a born again christian and believe gods word. I also think pretty straight. I don’t believe every teaching out there. I do agree with scripture. In proverbs we are told the type of people to seek and hang out with and the type of character to display. Jesus came and re stated all of these things because people weren’t being treated properly and he restored many to the father. It says adultery is grounds for divorce. Yes god hates divorce but god gave us a life to live free from these dramas holding us back from loving an unsaved world. I have been married for 19 years and the first 10 years my husband and I didn’t even have sex. He couldn’t I didn’t know that before we were married. However through prayer I kept going in the marriage I caught him checking out women regularly and I slapped his face one day when he tried to deny it. I told him I would leave him if I caught him again. Blow people trying to tell me you must stay and pray. RUBBISH! The Lord died for sin not to excuse it. We have a great marriage today and even have great sex but it became a choice on his behalf. If your partner doesn’t want you get some self respect and walk away that isn’t love that’s an insecure controlling spirit. Love and forgiveness go hand in hand. Paul wrote in the gospels to put immorality out of the church. My gosh if we lived as we should we would be so much more effective. I believe the church would be a place people would want to be cause it’s safe. And marriages would be safe. Hebrews chapter 6 says it’s impossible for those who have tasted the good things of The Lord if they fall away to renew them to repentance they put Christ to an open shame but we are told to leave them that we are to move forward. What message do the kids get. Further it says verse 11 keep on loving others then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Seems to me all this sin is making some of you dull and indifferent. So where is your life then supposed to be hid in Christ with a joy contentment to be in your circumstances. So come on don’t be afraid of outcomes we aren’t responsible for people who don’t want Gods ways there are too many others out there to touch. If you stay in the marriage do so accepting it’s your choice don’t get upset with God when it doesn’t go the way you think it should you are living with someone who is clearly living out their free choice God doesn’t go against anyone’s free will so neither can you. if you leave for something better because of unfaithfulness do what the word says you will be blessed and maybe your spouse will return if The Lord wills it. Either way this is not Gods problem it’s the choices we make due to bad teaching that has serious consequences one of which God doesn’t always bless it. You have to do what you feel in your heart is right with you and God. Remember Amos he married a prostitute because God told him to and his life was difficult and when she finally did return they weren’t intimate for a very long time. So I guess if God says stay it doesn’t mean it will be what you want it will be extremely difficult but if god says do this he will give you the strength to keep going. Either gods grace is with you or it’s not. There is no right or wrong way to go through this journey just keep Christ and his word at the centre and you will be ok if you are unsure what to do. Do what the word says not man.
I just want to tell everyone to keep praying and having faith. Me and my husband separated for three years I left with the kids to another city.he told me he moved on and we all ways had arguments on the phone. I kept praying and trusting God and today we are best friends and working on our marriage.I had to change also God let me see some things I did that was wrong. Trust him no matter what it look like
I am a married Christian man of 20 years. During the first 15 years of my marriage seemed to be on off on off. My wife started expressing herself by yelling arguing all day long. I felt not respected and appreciated a hard working man making good money to support her and our children. I meet a co worker who acknowledge my hard work efforts. Our company had a after work event. Some how she and I starting talking all night until I slept with her. I knew it was wrong but she made me feel young and appreciated. I tried to read the Bible to find that divorce was ok to GOD. No one in the Bible ever divorced the clause given by Moses was to protect a man marrying a virgin. In those days it was wrong to sleep with a woman until marriage. I continued reading verse after verse, then I read ‘ I Hate Divorce’ The Lord Says that was enough for me. My wife seperated from me for a year I prayed to GOD for forgiveness and my wife to come back. I promised never to be selfish and cheat again. After a year , my wife came back home and saw the change in me. It has been six years after my affair and our love seemed to be stronger. I date her 4 nights a week and become best friends again. GOD has worked miracles on my marriage but we most make a commitment to remember our vows and keep our marriage pure. I love my wife very much and realized when I hurt her I hurt myself my children and disappoint GOD. No more yelling and arguing its funny when you give your marriage to GOD what can happen
My husband and 2nd marriage left me for another woman. I fell in love with my husband when I was still married to the 1st one. It’s not excuse and I’ve repented for my sin, but my 1st husband had mental issues and was very unstable. I never fell in love with him and married him because of pressure at home. My 2nd husband I loved and I’ve been suffering a lot for years since he left. I’m a Christian and I’ve been praying that God reconciles us. I now know how painful it is to be betrayed. I feel lost and I wish that I had never laid eyes on my 2nd husband, even if I loved him dearly. It’s not worth the pain of consequence. I still love my 2nd husband and I don’t know what God’s will for us is? My 1st husband has since remarried and is still in that relationship. I want is my relationship with God to be mended and to be sweet again… I don’t hear my God’s voice anymore and I pray and talk to Him daily. I know what the Bible says but I know that God looks on our heart and that we can never be good enough on our own. We’re human and that is why Jesus had to come to redeem us from the law. The wages of sin is death – (disconnection from the source God, spiritual death) Jesus was the 2nd Adam and he was able to give us holy spirit gift and that gift remains in us. I just don’t understand my disconnection?
Hello everyone, I think it needs restitution; that is going to confess to the woman’s husband to get his forgiveness, for example if you’re a man and had an affair with another married woman..
you need to confess to the woman’s husband because you stole what belonged to him .
I know of a husband cheating on his spouse – What do I do according to the bible?
Pray for them. Seek Gods council. As Christian’s, we are to hold one another up to God in prayer. God takes care of issue’s in his way. We are not God and we cannot sit in judgement. Love in the body of Christ is dying because of the sin of pride, which is the root of all other sin. Take it to Jesus and leave it at his feet. You are required to do nothing more. God is still on the throne.
Good afternoon,
Question: To writer of this article; are you saying that if one commits adultery they can not be forgiven if they repent and ask for forgiveness?
Dear Gary,
Your post would condemn me to hell because I left my marriage for another man. I am a Christian, my husband was not, he had no interest in Christ and regularly used his name in a derogatory way. I prayed for many years for him, took my children to church alone, did all I was expected to do as a wife, and was very neglected over and over again. It was destroying me physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I finally left and I met a man who Loves Christ and me. Biblically I guess I would be unforgiven based on your post. I have tormented myself over this and have not forgiven myself because I feel God has not forgiven me but I have no desire to go back and I love this other person. My children love this other person as well and my son told me he thinks it’s better this way. My kids have received love and attention far greater than they get from their dad. Their dad has always done his own thing regardless of what anybody else’s needs were. So if I’m going to hell because I didn’t stay well then I just don’t understand God. I gave every effort for many many years and I can’t do it anymore. I never had affairs and was always there to fulfill my duties as a wife and then some. So I leave this post saddened and rejected by God. Pray for me.
I also left my marriage because of domestic violence. There is only one sin that Jesus says will not be forgiven in this world or the next, and that is blasphemy against the Holy Ghost. Our posts about what God thinks should be done prayfully and lovingly. Sin is Sin, but the unforgivable sin is as I stated. Please keep following the Lord. He did not take a beating, die for you, and rise again to watch a blog post destroy your relationship with him. God is our judge and he knows you intimately. Trust him to see you through each step in this life. If you have sinned, repent. He is faithful who has promised, even when we are not. There is no excuse for sin, but there is forgiveness and if we reject that truth, we are lost and make the cross a lie.
Isaiah 55:7 turn back to God so he can abundantly pardon.
Hello brothers and sisters. I am seeking rest and peace because of the sin of Adultery. I am utterly devastated and so defeated. I am absolutely disappointed in myself because I know his Word. I am full of fear and dread because I know that the things done in the dark will be brought to light. I repent and ask for forgiveness and restoration but when I think about how I have offended the Holy Spirit and defiled my marriage I lose it, and get filled with despair. I have been lost before, in my life, but I never thought I would be in this place of self inflicted turmoil again. Would you please pray for me? That the Lord would have mercy and that I would be able to bare his correction? Thank you
Hi Raymond, God has already forgiven you…confess your sin and refuse to allow the devil to hold it over your head anymore. God loves you and just wants your whole heart.
I am sorry Elizabeth. You are a good Lady, and You were so good to Your Husband
also No Person should be treated like that.
To God Be The Glory!!! I’m Praising God for Believers who knows the Word of God, and gives scriptures for the cases in this Blog!!! It is a shame that so many have this Struggle, only because they don’t want to let Go and allow God Complete Control in their Marriages. The Struggle is because you want to Satisfy your flesh for that moment. But Trust God!!
I have a question. I have a boyfriend that is still in grief about his girlfriend cheating on Him and I just wanted to know what to do. He says he loves me and everything. I want him to stop thinking it was his fault and forgive the girl for her such hateful sins.
Is there are LAW in the bible which condones a man having multiple wives?
Been married for several years, my husband is a womanizer, any where we go he hits on women. Several of the women make it a habit to walk by our house and of course he is always outside watching for them. I stayed in the marriage because of our children, then went onto nursing school, but now that no children are home, I can’t stand being with him. He admits he flirts and hit on women, and he still loves me, but he just can’t or won’t stop. I need to know how to deal with this. I have drifted away from him because of his constant flirting. Is this my fault or am I making a big deal out of nothing?
My husband left me after 42 years of marriage for a preacher’s wife. The preacher consequently lost his job. My husband also confessed to several other affairs or one night stands. My question is this: If I cannot forgive him and her, am I destined to go to hell? I am hurt and bitter–even 5 years later. I go to counseling but it seems we go
around and around about the same things. I need relief. I have a boyfriend who is sweet and kind; but I cannot stop loving and missing my husband because I believed he was a sincere Christian, Deacon and Sunday School teacher. He married this person and they now go to church together. I am still devastated.
I am so sorry you had to endure that devastation. I know it had to be heartbreaking. May God give you strength to go forward. And give it all over to Him. For He knows your heart best. Those who go against His will have to come to Him and answer for their transgression. Keep praying & stay in the Lord. My situation is not the same as yours but it’s the same sin. I’m regretting it now maybe your husband will begin to do the same. And the two of you can make up.
I’m so sorry for you. Your allowing the torment of this situation to consume you; at least at times, and take your focus off of God. Your comfort should always be in God before your spouse, children, or anything else. It sounds like you are still expecting some support or action from your husband that only God can give. I believe God is allowing this to open your eyes more so eventually you will be willing to seek only His hand in it, and let go of problematic perspectives. You must let go of it so God can act on it, and heal your pain. Scripture says you will receive the forgiveness that you show towards others. I have spent time remembering all the mistakes and terrible choices I’ve made in life on occasions. I think of how I have hurt so many people in my life. It doesn’t take long to realize what a horrible person I have been at times. When I know God is willing to forgive me for all I’ve done; I want to forgive others for everything ever done to me. This is something you can’t manufacture on your own. God provides this ability and changes your heart when you seek Him with your full heart.
Pray mightily! I hope your wife will eventually understand that you are sorry. As a woman, I know we are easily made jealous (at least I am) and can feel insecure at the smallest things.
I wish she would accept that it was only an image. Show her you love her. Compliment her each day and tell her she’s beautiful. Is she open to a date night? Please don’t pull away. Pray to God for her healing and strength. Also, pray and ask God to remove your desires to look at these pictures even though I know they’re just pictures (my husband does too). I hope your marriage does not end over a picture. Trust God in all things, and best of luck to you all.
It does not look like your relationship will be restored. Only God can do that.
“If God has completely severed His personal connection to Satan and one third of the angels due to their infidelity and rebellion against Him, and if He will allow a full marriage union to be completely broken, severed, and dissolved if one of the spouses becomes guilty of committing adultery – do not tempt the fate of your married life for a few moments of fleshly and carnal pleasure.
The gamble and the risk is simply not worth it – either for you, your spouse, or your children.”
But it is not too late to restore your relationship to Jesus. Repent of your sin (turn away from your sin, even I fail to do that) and follow Jesus. Do what is right from now on out.
If you are lucky enough, God will save your marriage. God and your wife will forgive you of Adultery, but there are consequences to your actions.
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” – Matthew 5:28 (Same goes to me, because I too look at woman lustfully, which I know is not OK.)
Repent of your sin and I must do the same thing.
Hi I am a wife with a wonderful husband but I felt misunderstood, not valued or not appreciated by my husband. I think I event had a post partum depression and was always angry at him – although he isn’t perfect and had so many things he could work on – I don’t think he ever cheated – but I did it twice and I’m totally sorry and feel very bad and with the label of sin all over my mind – I love him and I have not confessed him so my failure— I am scared and I don’t want to lose my husband and destroy my sons home — I have studied the Bible and I feel more guilty now —- what should I do? Tell him ? I am not worthy of him
I am a broken man. After 3 children and 16 years of marriage my wife started having an affair with a married man.
I cried and pleaded with him to stop flirting with her as i know what his intensions was. At the end I trusted her but not him at all. I believed that it would only be an emotional affair and then she will come back to me.
3 years later she divorced me while we still lived together. A year later I decided to move to another town as it was killing me seeing them in each other’s company.
A year before my devorce we had another child. When she finally came clean and confessed to me it was the first night I could see the women I loved. She claims the child to be mine. She said she was a fool and wish to have a relationship with me again. She told me because she tried to hide it, but it was killing our relationship.
She can’t stop apologising for what she have done. Not hiding anything of the 4 year affair she had. The pain caused to my children.
I have forgiven her but it does not help for the pain. I was even fighting with God as to why… He came to me in a dream, skilled and gave me a hug. Then He said that He knows that I’m mad at Him but He knows that I still love Him.
How do I go forward when every step I’m taking is a mission. Using medication to cope every day. Still working with the man she had an affair with. It’s been 8 months and it still hurts so much.
Get a DNA Test to make sure it’s yours as condition to get back together. If not yours she must give up the child for adoption or give father 100 rights and fully renounce hers in order for a remarriage. You and your ex need space from the guy to heal, seek the Lord.
Next is to move away from the guy and even with your wife tell his wife of the affair.
My wife and I had been together for 8 years.
I had bee unfaithful to her telling her with all my small affairs
and I told her that I love her for understanding and forgiving me and my vices.
I promised and promised and kept breaking it and kept doing it again.
Finally it came to a breaking point where she told our church what was happening and that is when I finally saw how I have hurted her and decided to finally STOP what was happening. Unfortunately she also as been exhausted and she wanted space. She felt that I abused her emotionally, I used her for her convenience, and that I didn’t even put effort into winning her back. Now she wants space, lost weight and looks like she is handling the situation by looking good and something tells me she is preparing to move on. But she says she is still thinking and just wants to refresh. Chances are 50/50 she said. But whenever I see her, I feel she is drawing farther and farther away from me. I think I am going to be crazy. We have 2 kids and they’re staying over for 4 days. Within 4 days I promised not to email her and give her space. What should I do? please help.
You take your consequences like a man. Pray that she will be able to forgive you and seek reconciliation but know you deserve to lose her for your actions.
I am feeling confused, lost, guilty, and ashamed. I loved with a man for 13 years we met when we were 15 years old we grew up togeather and depended on eachother we were best friends who never wanted to be without eachother. we felt a strong relationship however we lived in the middle of a drug house we consistently delt with people who were lost and unfaithful. we both secluded yourself to the upstairs of the home . I grew tired of the environment but always loved my man deeply to stick it out until one day I noticed I was giving up and he was giving up we were fighting because I needed him to want to move with me but he felt not ready for some reason. so I ended up finding myself attracted to this man at work and he himself was married and had two kids I was never married and have no kids and I felt guilty of having feelings towards this man so I packed up and moved to my mother’s and then told my man we were not working. I then pursued this new guy and now we have been togeather for 12months and i still miss and dream about my ex and i feel like im going to loose the love of my life and i also feel like if i leave the new guy then ill just loose everything. I feel like i broke many hearts and I feel like I broke myself and my values and morals to god. I once felt close to god and now I feel confused on what path to pick. I don’t want to hurt anyone else and I don’t trust myself.
Hi Timothy,
I’d recommend you watch the movie “Fireproof “. You’d probably find the answers there. God bless.
Hello brothers and sisters. I am seeking rest and peace because of the sin of Adultery. I am utterly devastated and so defeated. I am absolutely disappointed in myself because I know his Word. I am full of fear and dread because I know that the things done in the dark will be brought to light. I repent and ask for forgiveness and restoration but when I think about how I have offended the Holy Spirit and defiled my marriage I lose it, and get filled with despair. I have been lost before, in my life, but I never thought I would be in this place of self inflicted turmoil again. Would you please pray for me? That the Lord would have mercy and that I would be able to bare his correction? Thank you
I’m John, I’ve created on my wife, defiled my union and feel separated from my God. He put us together and I feel I’ve ruined everything by letting my flesh rule me. I’m ashamed and fearful. I don’t want to lose my relationship with God .I don’t want to lose the presence of the Holy Spirit .Please pray for me.
Father! Be real right now! Father lead John to true repentance, because of his disobedience to you! Not to his wife. Just as king David had true repentance to you and it is recorded in your word that David was a man after your heart… Even he could mess up , but you are the chain breaker!! You are the God of mercy! God is looking for children with hearts for him.
He will forgive and welcome the wayward son home, kill the fatted calf in celebration. Your job is true repentance and turn to God and never return there. You must not believe Satan’s lies, you must do battle with pray and praise. Don’t forsake the assembly of yourself to believers/church. We are here to help one another. Start today loving your wife the way Christ love the church. ( do what is for her best) Do what you know is right, be still and know that God is God. Listen to him… stop talking and be quiet in his presence. Keep doing the last thing you know you were told to do by God!!
I don’t know if your still suffering. God brings good out of sin. Pain causes growth. Unfortunately we tend to not listen to God’s urges of not doing this or that. We tend to do what we want and take the consequences. God allows a season of suffering to aid your free choice to His ways. Whatever God allows is perfect for you and exactly what you need to realize and change from wrong choices. God is in the business of saving souls. You need to think about what the consequences of this mess and learn and grow from them. Don’t let the enemy continue to tear you down over it. Repent, and believe in your righteousness. Keep God first and let his righteousness produce the will inside you not to sin.
I was not faithful to my husband and had affairs with men and as a result i had a daughter, i confessed to my husband and he has forgiven me. i did this after being saved in 2015. i now feel the Spirit of the Lord is no longer in me and am having night mares, loss of appetite,not feeling well to do household chores and so forth. I went to tell my pastor about it so that he could help me but he told me that he cant because there is no space for such people like me in heaven. i’m terribly scared and need help. please can anyone out there in Christ help me. Will God forgive me? Can God give me a chance to live for him alone for the rest of my life . please help. Thanks
Hello Everyone,
Thank you to those who shared their stories. I too am an adulterer. I have done extensive research on this subject and unfortunately when Jesus said it is better to poke out your eye than to be an adulterer and thrown into hell he was not joking. (See Hebrews 13:4). I firmly believe it is possible to die a spiritual death after being born again. Adultry is the equivalent of eating from the tree of good and evil (Adam and eve). God put up specific boundaries and told his followers Do NOT taste this fruit (adultry). Scripture says if the Holy Spirit leaves it is impossible to get Him back. If you think adultry is covered by grace see Jude 1 3-4.
The emptiness and torment that we are feeling is a preview for eternity as we will be tormented in hell for the consequences of disobeying Gods word. It’s worse for us because we knew God and His commands and did it anyways. Jesus says my true followers know my commands and keep them. We can never keep them perfectly but to commit adultry is not an accident, it is planned and contrived and outward expression of the heart Jesus said. So your heart did not belong to God, your motives were selfishness.
I’m sorry for the bad news but I am just being honest and hope this serves as a warning to anyone who is saved and has thought about having an affair. It is not hidden and the consequences are eternal. DO NOT DO IT!
Sue
Yes God will forgive you!! He says repent and turn from your sin. Do this, and then live daily as you believe God is telling you that day. Get plugged in a body of Christ. Do not foresake yourself the assembly together. Iron sharpens iron! God is merciful, if we are true to repentance… he knows our hearts.
Amennnnn!!!!! sis Lisa Thankyou in the name of jesus May god bless all your ♥️
You can be forgive and restored. I am one who God has blessed forgave and restored. I repented and turned from my ways and try to live daily to please him. I know he is with me and he hears my prayers!!!
I am blessed with a great new marriage and blessings in my life!!!
God can forgive any sin you just don’t do it again after he makes to whole & heals you your not God to judge we living in a age where covenant are broken routinely especially now you just have to repent right away I’m sorry but my holyspirit is telling me this happened to you in the name of Jesus god knows the heart ♥️ he knows it he knows it when he stamps that. Heart with jesus blood & his cross and to the girl who said she cheated prays are coming your way in the name of jesus god test us to see if we loose faith in him in his sin don’t loose faith sometimes we pay the price here just like Jesus Christ did on earth & one thing I know the Lord tells me don’t listen to what everyone say they will turn my children against me by one post comment or YouTube video listen to the heart ♥️ Sis that words the scripture & your father is speaking to you there in the name of jesus
Because of your actions, only if you live alone with no other man for the rest of your life will possibly have the ability to attain salvation. You will have to repent truly from your heart and soul and continue to repent. Another choice you have is to return to your husband and repent like crazy. The bottom line is adultery is one of the worst sins. You will live in darkness forever if you don’t find the narrow path you have left back to God.
Find another pastor and another church for that matter. God will have the ultimate word on who will enter heaven. If you have repented with all of your heart and you never turn back to that sin, God is willing to restore you. Study David. He was a man after God’s own heart and even he fell to the sin of adultery. David and his family suffered terrible consequences as a result but David repented and never repeated it again…and God forgave him.
He is not telling the truth my darling. God forgives, as long as you confess, you are truly repentant and you commit to not performing the act again. The Lord is good and He knows that we are sometimes weak and we easily fall into sin but ask Him over and over to cleanse you, He will. He has promised that those who seek Him with their whole heart will find Him. Go though 2 Chronicles 7:14 and ask God to reveal it to you. He will never leave nor forsake you, it is His promise. He cannot go back on His word, He will forgive you, in fact He has already, all you need to do is confess what you did, promise Him that with His help you will never go back there ever again. Psalm 103 especially verse 8-13
I was born from an affair my mom had. I understand your situation somewhat. My life was a complete struggle with God until I finally understood I had to pursue Him with my full attention. I had backslid countless times in my life after being close to God. When God showed me how I continually took advantage of Him in my life I started to realize how I wasn’t allowing God’s work and healing by my lack of commitment to Him. I realized I was wanting God on my terms. I perused His word and hunted down His truths about me and they quickly become alive in me. I think after being saved the most important lesson a Christian must learn is believing you are righteous. That Christ transferred His righteousness to YOU. Knowing this without believing it is of zero value. When you believe it you know God forgives any sin. You know God is not mad at you for anything and never will be. The belief in this righteousness provides the motivation to not sin. We can’t count on ourselves to produce a will of not sinning and have success at it. It’s impossible and leaves us feeling weak, short tempered, and distanced. Pray for understanding His righteousness and the power you have in it. Spend time studying it. You will see it quickly becomes a pillar of truth in you. The gift of righteousness is so important in our life here – it’s a powerful weapon against the enemy’s attacks that leave depressed feelings about ourselves. It brings such a freedom to our life.
❤️
I discovered my husband having a full blown relationship behind my back after 20 years and two children. I wanted to work things out but he refused and I filed for divorce. He is now married to the other woman and trying to take my children from me. I don’t understand why God is allowing this to happen as we have been in a custody battle for 3 years and everyone sided with him. I am bullied by him, and just told to ignore it. I have to see him living the high life while I’m struggling financially after being the stay at home mom during my marriage. I thought adultry was grounds for punishment so why am I the one being punished for my ex husbands actions?
You might feel your ex husband is “living the high life”, but vengeance is with God and he sees all and he will get you the justice. I pray all this gets settled.
Most marriages that happened due to an unfaithful spouse usually fail so don’t worry about him. You have to take care of yourself.
His time is coming my darling, you are still his wife, whether he has legalised a relationship with the other woman or not, you are his wife until you die.
Just don’t turn bitter. Let go and ask God to take you by His righteous right hand. I’ve seen God doing mighty things with me when my husband left me for young girls from our church even today he is not back. I cried, I pleaded guilty for many things that went wrong in our union before God and He has been nothing but faithful toward me and my kids. As much as we don’t like taking responsibility, you are somehow responsible for the down fall of your marriage so my advice to you would be that you cry out to God, ask Him for forgiveness for the times you have been rebellious in ways that only you would know.
You ask why God allows bad things to happen to you, Ask Him in the secret place to strip you off of you, show you where you have been in the wrong, where you might have opened the door to the devil and fill you with Him. You will be surprised at what God will do. Lay bare before Him, hide nothing, cry, cry and cry not to people but to God, ask for His intervension. 2 Chronicle 7:14 & Matthew 6:33
Remember that your husband has will power and if you don’t pray and stand in the gap, you are actually not giving God much to work on.
I know how you feel. Ex commited adultery in 2010, I found out in 2011, he left in 2012 then filed for divorce. Nothing “bad” has happened to them but me….I have lost a lot. A husband, which is a blessing because he’s a jerk, then got laid off, lost my dog to cancer, then got several pipe leaks in my house, which cost a lot, then oldest is now 18 so he immediately stopped helping with her & gives her $20 here & there & he literally makes 10 times more money than I do…. then I lost another dog 6 weeks ago…….
I’m struggling financially also & he just seems to keep getting everything his heart desires or his mom & dad give him money & it is so frustrating! I keep asking God…..He is the one who destroyed the family so why am I being punished!? And to top it off…he’s “marrying” her today and what would have been our anniversary was 3 days ago! I let him have it & told him God is not approving of this marriage regardless if they have it in a church, etc. because….I’m still alive so in God’s eyes, we’re still marrued! Hang in there. Prayers to you.
I’m in love with a man who has been separated for 6 years and is only just started the process of divorce. He is not a Christian, I am. Am I still committing adultery in this case?
Hello my name is John and I have been a victim of an unfaitful spouse. I met my ex wife while I was in the Army and met her while stationed in Korea. She was a church goer and we both participated in Church activities and wanted to live our lives as Christ Centered couple. I notice throughout the marriage she grew distant from me and I was wondering why. When I ask her questions she doesn’t seem to answer them honestly. When I separated from the Army, she and I both lived separately due to jobs, I asked her to move to where I was and she refused. That is when she told me she committed adultery and I was devastated. After four years I found she married the man she cheated on me with and have a child with him. I was upset because she denied me to be a father and all I wanted was revenge. I know God told me to not to take revenge but it is hard because I am wondering; where is my justice?
As for all those who confessed to committing adultery, I hope you all got to hell.
I’m really sorry that happened to you John what u said in the end I’m not god to judge neither u or anyone he knows we not perfect he knows we leave in a sin world & I committed adultery & I admit to my husband not once more then once but sometimes you don’t know why she did it we all do things & you can’t judge what she was feeling emotional physically or mentally that made her do that I know I did it for revenge & I’m telling you I did it for everything my husband took away my innocence he never appreciated he wanted me to be like him & u know he now fights & argue his same ways are back but when I was sick with epilepsy seizures while sleeping vertigo migraine pinkeye back broken etc… he was happy like nothing & I got saved and everyday is hell for me spitting mucus is the worst while he argue & fight and say I’m his knowing I cheated i told him with my demons or not & he don’t want to here about God or Jesus now you ask me if I should be in a marriage that a man treats me right one minute financially but not mentally physically or emotionally do you think now I should burn in Hellor keep suffering because it does feel like hell & I still get up prayer to my father in my secret bed while he watches in the door and tell me what about me forget god when god healed me with his only one begotten son Jesus to give me life again everyday try to be the good mother wife daughter friend to him doing everything right & his trying to make me sin when he was a alcoholic drug user who I was helping & then I did it he took my innocence do you think that’s right no but I forgive him over n over againI pray god heals all your ♥️John in the name of jesus.
You’re justice is in your forgiveness because apparently she’s moved on and you’re just killing yourself by holding on to it. If you can’t forgive ask God to forgive her for you. Plus, God won’t forgive you for sins if you don’t forgive her and Satan will have a legal right to attack you with a lot of things…. cancer is one of the things that I’ve seen the most come out of unforgiveness. It could be worse, my first husband left me and my two kids for a friend of ours and her two kids, then my second husband was abusive and got a girl pregnant, third husband left me for the neighbor while I was working and I’m married again now and didn’t even know that I wasn’t suppose to ever get remarried, so I’ve sinned just as bad as anyone else and in a marriage with people telling me that I should repent of it and get out but i can’t because he found out he has cancer, i’m Not leaving a man who is sick… so try being in this situation, i’m Going to hell now. I give up. I love God though. I don’t care I’ll just burn in hell loving God and trusting Jesus anyway. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t suppose to get married again.
The key is to repent and not stay in the adulterous relationship. Repentance means to turn away from! You cannot have an adulterous relationship, break up a marriage and think that if they divorce you can get married and be happy together. There will be consequences because you knew it was wrong and still decided to stay in the relationship. GRACE is not a license to keep sinning!
I’m not entirely sure what to really do with the situation myself and my partner have gotten in to. I had my son at 19 with the man I planned to marry but he was married to drugs and after 5 years of trying to pull him out, he succumbed to that. Then I married a man named Paul, he was a good husband but began corresponding with a girl from Germany (after having difficulties in a short while). I could not get pregnant (nothing matched up for us genetically) and I wasn’t well educated enough (by his standards). We, needless to say, divorced after a long conversation. He also didn’t believe in God but went to church with me to appease me. At that time, even after having a christian upbringing, my faith wasn’t unclear but certainly not well versed enough to know everything I wanted too. He did not want to be married to a girl who couldn’t have his kids or wasn’t attending school (he was an engineer and was embarrassed that I was a stay at home mother but still managing our farm, home, and raising my son).
Moving to St. Louis from Kentucky, I meet my a wonderful person. I hadn’t spoke to him much but I over heard him talking about his marriage, and how his wife was disrespectful to him, wouldn’t manage a home, etc. Basically everything was wrong and it was the same from her end. They married young and dated for a long time, but agreed to marry based off of the fact that they dated that long so they should get married because that’s what was expected. I can see that, but it was never in their loving intention to be a husband and wife, but more so seemed to just have gotten married to appease their expectations from others. So (and I honestly did not have a motive) I told him as I was leaving one night from work that I had a very similar situation and if he needed some insight or advice on reconciliation to their marriage (they were a handsome couple so I thought a good look couple could always make it – wrong). So, he did ask for some advice and he took it. He really tried to salvage the marriage but everything resulted in his wife expecting more stuff, more praise, absolutely nothing was good enough or a fight was constantly ignited (seemingly) just because she didn’t even like him? Seeing them in public when they weren’t directly next to people was really quite the spectacle.. They separated and talked but never found a reason to come back to the marriage. So that’s when he asked me on a date after having multiple conversations, discussions on marriage from a religious and non-religious aspect. We covered every area to see where it could work for them. Then the date happened, and going into it, I was initially flattered but uncomfortable. I don’t know what this means for us. They had this strange agreement without any love or devotion to the other and then I basically handed myself over on a platter while he was still married. I’ve cried and fallen on my knees just in a shaking mess, lost my voice one night praying over it in front of the church in the middle of the night because it was bother me so much after work.. I know Jesus stopped the men at Mount Olive from stoning the women who had committed adultry too, I just don’t know that much to say anything else. I’m conflicted, we are getting married now and now he wants children when previously, he didn’t like the idea of having children with her because she was very cold from day one apparently. What makes us do that? Marry someone under false pretenses or notions and overlook the large signs that say ” don’t do it. it really won’t work, you’ll be sorry or miserable” and then they see that it was a terrible mistake.. I think some basic guidance would be greatly appreciated. Seeing and being with him now, I can’t imagine my life without him but I worry that our sins are enough to be a huge issue for our Christian souls and possibly our future kids. God , both full agreeing, is our first love and priority but how do we do that when we seem to have so blatantly contradicted his word?
I am worried about my father. He commited adultery. I know that things have been mended between him and my mother, even though things will never be the same. What I am wondering is if he will still make it into heaven? I believe he would have confessed to the Lord and shown how sorry he was. I just want to know. I know I will never know the answer until we are in heaven but I really don’t want to see my father in hell. I love both my parents dearly. I know it was not correct to do what happened but I know that my father is very sorry for what happened. I really want to see him in heaven.
My dear woman: My answer will not be near so long. After almost 50 years of counseling spousal losses, I assure you, you are safe in your marriage. I do not know how the tribunal declared your husbands first marriage null and void, but it did. What they did not do was grant your husband an “an annulment”. The Roman Catholic Church ceased giving annulments about 750 years ago, when the Council of Trent declared all marriages indissoluble. Thus no wrong doing, regardless of horror, including murder, would by and of itself be grounds to dissolve the Catholic Bond of Marriage. So for a fact your husband did not get his declaration based on his former wife’s post wedding misdeeds, no matter their severity. The tribunal only looks at the propondence of evidence regarding the marriage couples apparent suitability for marriage at the time of the wedding itself. (all types of behavior, apparent and hidden, are considered a factor in their findings) Being their decision is based on the propondence of that evidence, concludes that in the majority of cases their is no single cause for their decision. Just be blest that the Church’s decision was made for nullity, and be good with that. Know that only about 1 in 60 failed Catholic marriages receive a Declaration of Nullity. Your husband was a rare case. So the Church did not error on his behalf. Remember what Jesus said when he founded his Church to be governed by earthly bound souls. What sins you retain will be retained by God, and what sins you shall forgive will be forgiving by God. The same goes for the personage of the Church Tribunal. You and He were given a gift, a gift of love by God, and three, I am sure, beautiful children. Be happy. Be a unified, and committed, Mom and Dad for the three children he gave you, and his/your grandchildren to follow. You have, he has given you, that responsibility. Get a bottle of red wine, white Zinfandel if you prefer, a bunch of candles, and the seclusion of your bedroom, and celebrate the love God has given you. To withhold it would be the greatest tragedy, the greatest betrayal, the greatest sin, and for after all he has done for you, Jesus would be left weeping. You wouldn’t want that would you ? God bless you and go forth in his love.
Hi my sister
I’am a catholic as well haven read your posting it intrest me that you know the teaching of our
faith. Then if the Holy CATHOLIC AND APOSTOLIC CHURCH throu her tribunal annul
your husband former marriage you should save yourself from needles worry
or don’t you believe the seat of St Peter
God Bless You
My name is Rachel i am 21years now with two girls but when my second born was 4months i got to know that my husband has another woman who is also pregnant soon giving birth in Feb am there wondering what to do next but am praying that God shouldn’t bless them with that child let that be the punishment these two will receive from the Lord
Hi Rachel…yes this a terrible situation you find yourself in…But God and not you will be the final judge…God says pray for your enemies and in that you should find some comfort…Your husband sounds like he is lost and that is punishment enough…but you must remain obedient to Gods word and you will receive everlasting life and your children will be holy through you…that’s an awesome revelation…So you must find a way to turn away from sin also…Obedience to God is the only way…This life is short but God will make it joyful for you forever…Wow…
Forgiveness and REPENTANCE (abandons) MUST go HAND In HAND.
WIthout ABANDONING your sin you CANNOT be forgiven. It says that in Proverbs 28:13 Confesses AND abandons, then COMPASSION.
If you only say IM SORRY, confess, forgive me God and NOT ABANDON THAT SIN you are Like a dog that keeps returning to its vomit.
Yes of course God forgives! BUT it MUST be accompanied by REPENTING-ABANDONING- TURNING AWAY from THAT SIN. ONLY THEN WILL GOD FORGIVE YOU.
You CANNOT CONTINUE to LIVE in that sin and repeatedly ask to be forgiven WITHOUT turning away. God will NOT be mocked.
God is a God of ORDER. Ask to be FORGIVEN and you MUST REPENT and stop being the dog returning to its vomit.
God does His part FORGIVES. We do ours REPENT. THIS IS A MUST, MUST!
I will like to say I been married to this guy for 16yrs, but been in a relationship with him for 41yrs. He have cheated in this relationship for over the most of the time we have been together. He have 15 kids and only 5 of them are mine. I have forgiven him over and over for number of years and he has took enjoy my kindness for weakness, I pray all the time for our marriage because I want to do the right thing in the sight of the Lord toward my vows but it is getting very painful. Right to this day he is having a affair with womens in his church that he call himself a Pastor over. I continue to pray that God fill him with the Holy Spirit that would convicted him of his lifestyle and he would want to change for his own way of salvation. I need more strength though prayer with other to pray that he come to his rightfully mind that God is not Please with what he is doing and God is going to judge him for his wrong doing and he will not be able to enter in the kingdom of heaven. God my handle him in the same way he kick Satan and his angels out of heaven.
I’m not so sure if God really judges people in this day and age on people who commits adultery. My wife left me for another man and pretty much ruined my entire life. It was the hardest thing I had to endure ever in my life. I had to deal with Betrayal, Rejections, Bitterness, Unforgiveness, Anger, you name is as I have experienced it all. Betrayal by far is the most painful experience of them all and its very brutal. I must say that my ex wife and I came together through adultery while she was yet married to another man. Naturally, it was the biggest regret of my entire life and I forever regret what I’ve done. But this would be her third adultery. She was able to be with this man and even had a child to him not too long ago. I know the bible says that God will judge the adulterous and fornicators but I just don’t believe that the judgments that He is speaking of applies to this life. Its been six years and God has not done anything to her. I also know men that are in my church that have gone through the same thing and some of them there wives did to them more than 20 years ago and still God never did anything to punish or chastise those people for what they’ve done. I just don’t understand it. Forgiving them for what they done has been a very unique challenge for me and its a constant battle to keep fighting it. But why doesn’t God honor his word when he said that he will judge the adulterers? Naturally, I don’t want them to go to hell so it would be better if He chastise them here on earth to give them a chance to repent and turn around. But as usual nothing happens. Because of my experiences and hear what others have said.. I just don’t believe God will do anything to the adulterers in this life. In the age of grace its basically you’ll die in your sins if you don’t repent.
The world is as the world is, God’s standards are clearly laid out in the Bible. People need to chastise themselves by those standards. We must be wise and able to trust ourselves to submit to truth. These things happen to us because we are in the world and not in the word. It’s a spiritual battle going on all around you everyday and there is Pray for for those that persecute you or do wrong to you. The woman you speak of obviously has many issues but none much different than those of the world. Jesus said my kingdom is no part of this world, yet we endulge in it and bring Jesus with us. Remember this Troy the lord has a personal interest in you but so does your adversary the devil. Ask yourself who do you let feed you more, who’s energy engulfs your spirit. I’m fighting the same fight but in a different situation. Pray for me as I pray for you that the lord will continue to be a focus in our lives and that we strive to see the people through his eyes love like he loves and understand like he understands. That he lead us toward him. That he bestow on us the ability to forgive like he forgives. May he humble us in that moment when it is needed. In the name of Jesus amen.
Troy, with all the respect, you can’t build a home from the ashes of another. You can’t build your happiness based on someone else’s sorrow. You know the Bible says that whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. You were an instrument of destruction in her previous marriage, so you can’t expect to be blessed by the Lord in that relationship, because in His eyes your marriage to her will always be adultery. He is very clear about it in the scriptures. I hope the Lord gives you wisdom and helps you to see the truth and heal your heart, finding Him as your source of happiness and fulfillment.
I agree!! I am starting to feel the same way! My husband left me, he is off traveling, doing fun things, eating at fancy restaurants, while I home taking care of kids. I want to see God’s vengeance upon him. I Am the one enduring all the pain and suffering, he is the one that sinned.
Troy, God loves your ex right along with you. It’s hard to stomach, but He is a God of Mercy before judgement and He will deal with her in His own time.
My ex left me with 3 kids to raise to be with another woman. I was hurt for years over this. He only saw them a few hours a week and I’d cry as soon as they left. His life went on building a career. A lot of the times he’d drop the kids off with family members for the few hours he had them. This, of course, hurt my kids and left me in a fury. Adultery and extremely selfish.
It took about 7 years for the tears to stop. For some reason I kept asking what could I have done to make him not leave. He and I were both difficult for the first few years and then I dedication my life to God. Having the relationship with God changed me for the better of course in many ways. Not my doing but God’s. In my head marriage meant marriage, no easy outs, but a union meant to work out everything. It finally hit me that I felt that way but my husband did not. We didn’t have the same thoughts and values to begin with. To leave me for his new exciting affair was one thing but to leave his kids? Then have so little to do with them. No he and I were not alike. After this observation I realize just how lost he was. My mom and dad were not religious and stayed together raising me. Their marriage was not fun at all but raise me they did. Then seeing how my ex really was I could pray for him effectively. That God heal his troubled soul. Once he tried to mend us but he could not stay loyal to any woman. Who wants that with all the diseases out there now and to partner up with me after sleeping with someone else…no.
It took years of watching him neglect his kids, build his years as a police officer and partying away, but it caught up to him. In fact he admits to one son, who has kept the best but sick relationship with his dad, that he messed up terribly in his actions. My son was 3 when he left turning 40 last year.
My ex has suffered many many things. Alcoholism, drug use and getting fired from the job he aspired to. All his children and that includes 2 more, hardly speak to him now. He’s in bad health and scared living in another state. My daughter is talking to him now but I have an ugly feeling she thinks it’s to her advantage. If so she will pay for that.
A lot of time passed before I saw how depraved he was and time made it worse. I still pray for his salvation.
I hear you Troy. I hear you.
Everything you say. All the pain and the pain never ends, and as far as looking to God to discipline or punish the adulterer, yes, I see everyone getting away with it so to speak. No punishment appears from on High, and that makes them keep on keeping on. I have a husband who has spent our whole 34 years of marriage in and out of adultery. He’s driven by Satan to do it. Then when comes to a place where he’s sorry, he buys me a new wedding ring, (I’ve been given 3 now). Then he builds his self up to look faithful again, only to commit adultery again. He loves to keep me, and would be crushed if he didn’t have me in fact he boasts about me as part of the building back up process, only to fall into adultery at any time he sees the opportunity present itself which just happens out of no where, he changes into a different man. I can’t explain from my end all I have suffered or all my pain I experience daily. We’ve had nine children together, in 34 years of marriage. I’ve never denied him my body or my love praises honor or good deeds of service for him. I have come to the place where I finally realized can not trust a word he says when he comes back to repentance again. Your ex will most likely run off with another one day..and another..mine runs off and wants me to watch and accept it. No discipline comes to him.
I married till death do us part. I know he’s destroyed all the deep loving trust and honorable place he once held in my eyes. In a way I’m afraid of God punishing him because it will affect me too since I’ll have the duty of his wife in it, whatever would happen to him. We’re still raising our ninth child. He is 63 years old. I’m 7 1/2 years younger. Our daughter is 10. I can’t trust my husband, and the pain is unbearable and on top of all is the living in fear of what my husband is capable of doing next because even he can’t believe or trust his own heart.
…come Lord Jesus. May God’s peace be with you and with me. Keep the faith brethren, Keep looking to God and believe His Love and His Word and keep loving Him in spite of it all. We have need to persevere in this world even if we are the only one. The pain can not take precedence over God’s love and Word for us. Amen
I agree with you for the most part. I committed this horrible sin years ago with a younger woman even though I knew how wrong it was. My wife and I were not doing so well but I did love her. I let the devil through this woman take me down totally. At the time I considered myself a Christian and always resisted this sin. This woman never gave it a thought about me being married even though I brought it up constantly. Of course my wife divorced me and later died. I take blame for her death. After 3 years this woman found God herself and ended the relationship. I know it was right to do. But what hurts me is I am closer to God than ever before but I am suffering the never ending consequences totally alone with everyone hating my guts. I lost my home wife family and every single thing you could imagine. But this woman is heavenly blessed in every way not lacking anything. She has more than ever before. I cannot even buy enough food to live on. God has forgiven me through Christ but He cannot seem to punish me enough for my mistakes. It just isn’t fair for that former whore to have all God’s blessings and all I do is pay the price. I wasn’t her first adulterous act either. I’m sorry that you have had to suffer so terribly and your ex is on top of the world.
I would just like to say if God has forgiven you then He is not punishing you and yes the bible says that God chastizes and rebukes those whom He loves and dont forget about the enemy that is after your soul and this is a constant battle and it is spiritual so if you are close to God then stay under His wing and learn to forgive yourself and stop blaming yourself for past transgressions because if God has forgiven you you are free so just learn to trust Him and as for the other woman things seem peachy but is her heart true God sees all and searches the heart and nothing can be hidden from Him. So i urge you to seek God with all your heart and ask him to show you if there is anything hindering your relationship with Him.
A woman was legally married and over a year the marriage has been abandoned whereby the man left the house and has not since comeback to the woman or the marriage. The woman had not given birth but on the way,found a man and they had carnal knowledge of each other. Is that considered as an adultery too?
I found this sight just by searching my question. I am so confussed. 10 years ago I left a 20 year marriage because I was having an affair. We had alot of problems through our marriage being married at 18 years old. He has had an affair early in our marriage, we have had every problem you can think of. My heart hardened after years of living like this. He has been remarried for 9 years now. The guy I was having an affair with did not last, after that one bad relationship after another for me. I did not have God in my life. I knew of him and always thought there was a God, but never knew anything about his word. A little over 6 years ago I met the man I am with today. Since we have been together I have had stage 3 melanoma and a brain aneurysm that I had brain surgery for. With each situation it brought me closer to Jesus. It’s hard to put in words, but Jesus chased me down. His love has been so great. After my aneurysm surgery I really started getting into his word. Easter of 2018 I was truly saved, after that I went through spiritual warfare. I had been shown the truth of my past by the Holy Spirit and repented. That summer was so hard seeing myself, seeing the truth, crying and thinking I was going crazy because Satan kept saying things like “your sins are to great, God will never forgive you”. I fought him and listened to Gods word. I finally was released and knew I had been forgiven for all my sins. During this time Jesus put it on my heart to stop having fornication with my boyfriend, so I had talked to him and he always supports me and he agreed. My boyfriend has been here for me through my health problems, to being saved by Gods Grace through Jesus Christ. I got baptized this year in February. I love my God so very much and want to obey him. I owe him so much for saving my life. He is with me every day and I listen and pray everyday throughout my day. I truly want a life with God. I realize the severity now of my divorce and my other sins. I wasn’t aware how bad it really was. Me not knowing God back then. How could I have known, but i know now. If I could go back and change things I would with no doubt. If I had Jesus in my life back then and feel the way I feel for him today I could have never got divorced. Knowing what I know today. My boyfriend has asked me to marry him. I love this man and he has been with me through so much. I have had counceling from my church and they tell me remarrying will be okay with God. The bible is confusing on this topic and you hear both sides. I want to seek the kingdom of heaven. I want God to be pleased with me, but I also dont want to live this life alone. I dont want to hurt anymore people. I know this is a decision between me and God, but he’s being quiet about this. I wonder if my thinking this is Satan he is a thief, he wants to destroy my joy. I can’t reconcile with my ex husband because he is remarried. Any advise. Suggestions will be helpful. But please be sensitive. This is a real situation that I’m dealing with. I just want to put God first and try my best not to sin against him. God Bless
Melissa, my heart goes out to you. Please know that God loves you and hears your cries. You have found the most precious gift you could ever receive, our Savior Jesus Christ. He loves you and died for you, for the forgiveness of our sins. Do not live in guilt and condemnation, that is not of God. Keep seeking God, keep reading the Word of God, you are attending church, you are on the right path. Sometimes we can forgive others so easily but we fail to forgive ourselves. May God give you that peace that surpasses all understanding. You have conquered many obstacles by the grace of God. He is with you, for in His Word “He will never leave you nor forsake you”. My prayers are that you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. My prayers are with you, though people can give the best advice only God’s Word says, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper, and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future! Jeremiah 29:11.
Adultery and the pain of betrayal is worse than death. My ex became very abusive as his secret affair with his employee at his faith based organization took root. I begged him to choose me but he mocked & called me crazy & said I was just paranoid. Then he left me for her. They’re together now, we divorced and she is almost divorced. He never chose me. They are taking wonderful vacations together and have been “blessed” by the Christian leadership of he company and he is serving in ministry at his church. My ex has convinced everyone I was a horrible wife and she convinced everyone her husband was terrible too. He says God gave him his soulmate, he should have never married me, that he is finally happy & only now has discovered true love & they are engaged to marry. In fact, they have been engaged for a long time- long before anyone separated. I will be honest- I really and truly was a wonderful, caring, attentive wife. I even moved into a new country with him and for him. Left behind a job and family and friends & now he wants me deported without my kids.He’s told our children he’s upgraded and replaced their mom and found them an even better one. All visits now involve this woman (who bad mouths me to the kids). My children are hurting and confused as he says this is God’s will. I am left devastated and hurting and watching the woman who ruined my family (and my now ex-husband who ruined our family too) go on family trips to all the places on my bucket list. He’s flaunting it, laughing and throwing it in my face. I am grieving my loss of my family unit and I am in disbelief how he could have thrown 15 years of marriage away. I believed and lived our marriage covenant. I tried so hard to meet his needs, to pray diligently over our family and relationship but in the end, it was not enough. He said he deserved his type and now has said all the love notes, etc. were all false. He said his “real” marriage will be to her. He continues to get more powerful at work, is hugely successful financially and has no remorse, shame or guilt. If anyone says anything to him he says he’s like King David and says he will not listen to people being judgemental as they are trying to prevent him from carrying out God’s will. Now I am left to worry this relationship may flourish and further solidify his theory that she is his soulmate from God! (And if you are reading this- can you please pray for me? i have reached rock bottom in grief and I have begged God for even a sliver of a breakthrough and that this relationship will end and she goes back to her husband and kids).
Hi I am so sorry for your loss. Your husband is being used as a puppet for the enemy. I know it’s hard but you need to pray for his salvation because he is on his way to hell and he is taking many with him. However Jesus does on the cross and it was not in vain. He died to save the lost and although your husband is in a so called Christian environment it is corrupted by the enemy and his lies. I like to think of it as the enemy completely has him possessed. Learn about deliverance and about generational curses. Most likely his father or fathers father was involved in adultery. Once you start learning about this you will realize it is the devil that has come to steal kill and destroy. Trust me I understand and will be praying for you. Watch the movies War Room and Breakthrough. You need to change the way you pray! Forgive him and ask God to help be able to forgive him because we know that is a sin that penetrates deeply in our heart. But when you look through the eyes of God and see your husband His son is going to hell you will have compassion and be able to forgive and pray for him. Plead the blood of Jesus over him your kids your family your home. May God bless you!!!
My heart reaches out.. I understand your pain…I believe time, only time will heal the pain. I know that when trails come in our life, they are only for a period.,.we can’t go over , under or around we have to go through it. At the end baby you are dimond!!!!
Even king David was brought down to his knees.He had an affair with Bethsheba and conceived a child which GOD told David that the child would not live because of his act with another man’s wife. Don’t worry about how it looks and the glamorous lifestyle they are living “NOW” in just a Little While they will be brought down. In Psalm 37 , David (God )said I saw the enemy spreading itself like a green bay tree , but when I looked back it( tree , your husband and this woman ) was no more. I have been in your place , it’s like a snow ball in a hot furnace it’s over before it starts.
Judgement belongs to the Lord, and though it can be difficult for us to understand please try to remember that those who are first, may become last. God is working through you, and He is good always. Hold your head high and focus on Him as you can take comfort knowing the He is using you and will not let you fall.
@Hannah,
My husband has said those similar words to me too. However, I had to looked up ‘soul mate” and it’s biblical but more of made up things back in the olden days. When I have time I will have to write down my story of trail down too. It’s been 3 years already? how is marriage now? still living the high life?
I would like to say that me & my boyfriend were engaged this past summer… and I did something very wrong that I wanna forgive myself for and I’m trying everyday. I still wanna make this relationship work… I cheated once, for revenge and I know that’s very wrong… all I can think about is will God forgive me? will I still go to Heaven? and all I have ever been trying to do this past month is go in the right path, with God. do you think I’ll be forgiven and go to Heaven?
Yes God forgives all sin. Please repent and turn to Him. Give your life to Christ. He forgave the adulterous woman that was caught in the very act of adultery. Remember He said, “He who is without sin cast the first stone.” Everyone left and it was Him and her left standing there. He told her,”You are forgiven. Now go and sin no more.”
There is always consequences to sin even when repentance is provided. We must remember King David when he sin with Uriah’s wife consequences came, because of the choices King David and uriah’s wife made, God forgave but the sinners has to go through the shame of the actions.
In Galatians six chapter it states God is Not mocked what’s so ever a man sows, that shall he reap. Yet God still forgives but there is consequences.
Faith the answer is yes you will be forgiven as long as you come before God with a sincere and repentant heart and be faithful especially to God and also i hope you told your partner about this and He also will have to make amends with Jesus and then if you are both willing to give it a go make sure the forgiveness with each other is genuine and then you can have a fresh start in Christ.
All in all what I can say sorry to the wrong doer and to the one whose heart was broken.. But I think it’s only God who knows what to do for you people..just continue serving Him and repent.God will do His WILL.
BUT I too I have a story to share with you my fellow brethrens am married to my wife with one kid and she is pregnant, but I got a Friend and that friend was alady and we were in business for some good time,as time went on the friendship increased and Even my wife came to know about the friendship I had with that and sometimes they could greet each other well,but one time as we’re chatting on WhatsApp the lady started sending me some seducing words of which I ignored at first thinking that she was joking and it came several times and umbrumptly I felt in love with that lady remember she is also married and it’s now three times doing that act with her.but I feel am tired of it.what can I do? yet we still have the business with that lady.no one knows about it , it’s BTN the two of us.Now if I start up repenting seriously with out going back in that act ,can God forgive me and give me another chance ? remember am a born again Christian though am not yet baptized.but i feel i want to go for baptism and For Legal marriage with my wife.how can I go about it brethrens but we have not yet gone to church to get a marriage certificate and be comfirmed.I need your assistance brethrens.. thanks
You say your married and have a legal wife , and you want to get baptize and get a marriage certificate. Then you said you are a born again Christian , seems like you are living in fornication ( without marriage license, pastor , or judge marrying you , to make it legal in God’s eyes ) and yes you need to repent only Jesus can wash away your sins, He is a God of a second chance and he will make a way for you to escape the temptations of this woman you work with no matter how she comes at you , sometimes just saying ” JESUS ” is all we need to say . Be sincere when you ask God to forgive you , cry out to him with a broken heart
I was in love with a married man before getting married to my husband. In my marriage, my husband was less romantic and less committed than my ex and I started cheating with him again. I am now a born again Christian but struggling with adultery. I no longer have feelings for my husband and he is not showing any interest in me or any other woman. I confess this sin to God and be set free and find myself back in cheating in a space of 6 months. I am tired of this life and want a breakthrough
It is hard to love someone that you feel does not love you, and yet this is the Christian life, and what God himself does for us so beautifully. If you are a born again Christian, you have felt and responded to God’s love and heart for you, which he says only He can do (John 6:44). His word says you have been washed clean, completely restored because of Jesus’ death (Isaiah 1:18), and that you have been rescued into the kingdom of light, of unimaginable glory (Colossians 1:13). He loves you so much, Nomusa. Keep lifting your heart to Him, He is shaping you into something more glorious and beautiful than you can imagine, but keep trusting and looking to Him in it even when you don’t understand and feel exhausted, and you’ll see His breakthroughs. Praying that he directs you in this.
How can I know if I am forgiven? I have lived a terrible life. committed adultery many times because I was unhappy in my marriage. my husband didn’t make me happy but he did forgive me after a very long time of punishing me. The more he punished me the more I sinned. I am much much older now. I believe I have been punished severely for my sin. But I am truly sorry. And do not sin any more. God actually removed the temptation from me. Can God forgive me a can I ever forgive myself for my wasted life. I am trying to live right but sometimes I feel like a phony and I hypocrite. But I’m really trying very hard now. And I love Jesus with all my heart because of his sacrifice.when will I ever be able to feel like I am in God’s will that he has forgiven me. I want to live for God and please him bur I don’t know how much time I have left. My health is not too good. Nothing fatal that I know of but I am not young anymore. So I know my days are numbered no matter what. What God forgive you when you are old if you have sinned a great many years of your life? Sad thing is was that I was saved when I was their young I was trying to live a good life but then I back slid severely. I seem to go back and forth a good many times. Will God forgive me now that I am old? Because I keep wondering what can I do for him now. I served him once in the church, was very active in my church and was baptized but then fell away for many years. I have tried to come back but feel like I’m not accepted. Please help me
Of course God forgives you. You have confessed your sins and He is faithful to forgive you of all unrighteousness.
My beloved sister in Christ, may you read my message and be blessed. The Good News is there is no sin so deep that the love of Christ has not conquered. He did not come for the righteous but to bring sinners to repentance.
Because where sin exists, there Grace super abounds. When you repent in your heart and seek forgiveness from Christ. He not only forgives you instantly but also forgets your sins. Praise be to God !!!!
Be blessed and sin no more. Pray for me and my family as well. I am trying to start a family with my wife and we are trying to reduce our weight. So keep us in your prayers.
Sue. I could have written a similar posting.
I was brought up a guilt ridden Catholic and have confessed my sins to God over. And over. Hard to go to the Confession to a priest but God knows my heart. Yet I doubt my worthiness. This may also be a sin. I think we have to humbly accept God’s Forgiveness and move on. We are alive to reflect and accept on our wrong doings and have faith in God’s love. It’s the best we have to offer. Bitterness over a life poorly spent will keep us from accepting God’s love.
God bless you.
He forgives you. Some of us struggle harder than others. If your husband said he forgave you but still continued to punish you, that was part of the problem. Once God forgives you, He know longer remembers your sin against Him
If someone not married committed adultery with someone then end up marrying them. Then getting divorced later. Does that marriage even count in God’s eyes since the spouse was married (and divorced) to someone else first. The Bible says reconcile so who should he reconcile with if possible? 1st wife or 2nd wife that started in adultery. What if 2nd remarried then divorced too.
I am married to my spouse who committed adultery with two different women. So I forgave him because I love God & loved him even though I wanted to just bend the marriage. So I began to seek God more but I still just wanted to leave. Now about 6 months later he received a court order letting him know the second woman had a baby in January & the baby is in foster care because she is serving time in prison (uncertain how long). She has indicated the baby is his & he claims he didn’t know. I am 71 yrs old & I told I was not going to raise another child at my age & I really don’t want to put up with the responsibilities associated with this situation. I am seeking God for an answer. He wants to stay in the marriage but it is a weight on me right now. I believe it hinders me in ministry. But I want to obey God.
Me and my husband are Christians.. but my husband cheated on me and now the other woman is pregnant.. i still want to save my marriage.. but i really dont know what to do right now? Im hurting.. i love my husband..